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Recheck for typos, and if anything needs clarification or more detail. Other comments and crtis are welcome.
Oh, and don't send me messages, cuz I don't have the money to pay to be able to see what it says. So you can just put it in the critique, just use dashed lines or something to seperate it.
“No! It can’t be!” cried Kaelin, jumping back. His hands were slicked with so much sweat that he was barely able to hold onto his river-blue sword. His silver eyes widened in terror as his cerulean hair nearly stood on end.
It’s Malvei! But he was supposed to be vanquished over three millennia ago! How could he here now?! Kaelin’s mind raced trying to figure out what to do next.
His instincts told him to flee, but to where? The shadows in the forest would provide no sanctuary, after all the fiend thrives on darkness. He could try to retreat, but he had a mission to complete. But still if he was killed, the mission would be a failure…and his sister would never be found…
The fiend took a step closer to Kaelin. Instantly Kaelin could feel his energy seep from him like grains of sand from an hour glass. Icy fear gripped his terror-stricken heart so intensely that Kaelin’s grip weakened on his sword, and it fell from his hands.
Malvei’s shadow slowly started to enclose the terrified youth.
Before it had completely covered him, Kaelin took out a photo of a teenage girl with lilac hair and purple eyes. He held it with both hands and gazed at it lovingly.
Sister…I wish I could have found you…He thought. But at least I know that you are alive…Tears streamed down his eyes as he tore the picture into shreds of shimmering paper. And I shall make sure that he never finds you…Kapu…
“Kapu?” asked the professor.
“Here,” Kapu replied, rising up her slender arm.
“Alright, that’s everybody,” said Mr. Holden, “Now we can get to today’s lesson.” He walked across the room to a tall shelf. He took down a small blue circular container from the top shelf, and turned to address the class. His jet black bangs nearly touched the rim of his silver glasses. His gray eyes eagerly peered at his students, as he revealed to them the object he retrieved for the class. “We will learn how to shrink things using this powder, adeptly named Minimizing Powder or M.P.”
“Oh boy!” said Takain, as he rolled his russet eyes. Shaking his head, his spiky hair hardly budged. “Shrinking! This ought to be interesting.”
Mr. Holden walked over to Takain. “So you don’t think learning to shrink things will be fun?”
“About as much fun as watching a worm eat,” said Takain.
The class chuckled.
“In that case,” said Mr. Holden, smiling wryly. “I suppose you don’t mind if I shrink you?”
“Shrink me?!” Takain’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Will do,” said Mr. Holden.
“Wait!” exclaimed Takain, but Mr. Holden had already blown some small blue M.P. crystals on him.
Instantly a purple spiral encaged Takain. The never ending spiral moved slowly at first, but it gradually picked up speed until it became one large purple blur.
“Wow,” said Kapu. Her lilac dress was blowing in the breeze that the spiral created. Her dark purple eyes were wide in amazement. “That’s one long spiral.”
Finally, the spiral faded, and there on Takain’s chair was a miniature Takain.
“Hey!” said the boy who shared the table with Takain. “His clothes shrunk along with him! I thought he’d be in a big pile of clothing.”
“A very good observation, Benjamin,” said Mr. Holden. “Not only does this powder minimize the person’s atoms but that also of whatever the person has with them at the time. Likewise, when I bring him back to his normal size, he along with anything that he is wearing or holding will also go back to its original size.”
“Cool!” exclaimed Benjamin.
“Yes,” said Mr. Holden. “Our technology has come quite far.”
“Make me normal!” squeaked the small Takain.
“Alright!” said Mr. Holden. He closed the M.P. container, and put it back at his table. He then picked up a purple container. “This is a Restoring Powder or R.P. It will do many things including unshrinking Mr. Takain, here.” He opened the container and bent down. “Ready, Takain?”
“Yes!” Takain exclaimed.
Mr. Holden blew the powder toward his shrunken student, causing a blue spiral to envelop Takain, and within seconds Takain was back to normal.
Takain patted himself, making sure that he really was back to normal.
“Now,” said Mr. Holden, “with those two powders you just blow them toward the object you want to shrink or return back to normal. Don’t touch it though, or you may be affected too.”
A bird flew into the classroom and hit the gong with its beak.
“Alright, class,” said the teacher. “That’s the gong. Proceed to the next part of your schedule.”
A group of giggling girls left the building first.
“That was so cool!” cried Lauralee, one of the girls in the group. “Did you see Takain’s face as he shrunk?” She flipped her long auburn hair and batted her russet eyes.
Boys quickly flew over to her and made a fuss over her.
“It was so funny!” said Lorinna. Her light brown bangs flowed past her chestnut eyes. “I wish I had a Remembering stone with me at the time! That way I would always have a recording of that moment!” She giggled again.
“I didn’t think it was funny,” snapped Takain. “How would you like it if I shrunk you?”
“Remembering stones are so cool,” said Lauralee, ignoring Takain. “They can record anything that goes on around them, and display it back in a 3-D hologram without flaw.”
“Hmph!” said Takain, stomping off.
The girls giggled.
“What’s your next class, Kapu?” Magenta asked as she brushed her magenta colored hair.
“Multiple Tongues,” replied Kapu.
A few boys walked past the group of girls.
“Hey,” said Lauralee, looking at the boys that just past by. “Isn’t that boy with the sandy brown hair and eyes, Larate, Kapu’s crush?”
“Why, yes,” said Lorinna. “And he’s also in her Multiple Tongues Class.”
“Ooooh!” said Lauralee. “I see a potential relationship!”
“Hey, look!” said Magenta. “The warriors are back from training!”
A small group of armor clad people were dragging weapons at their sides. They sat down on some flat-sided rocks. A few of the warriors leaned their heads on the hilts of their weapons.
“I’m glad I’m not a warrior,” said Lorinna. “Look how beat they look.”
“And getting wounded just at practice!” said Magenta.
“And wearing all that armor,” said Kapu. “It would be so hard to move.”
“Not to mention you get all dirty, sweaty, your hair gets messy, and you smell terrible,” said Lauralee. “How uncouth.”
Suddenly a man clad in chain mail went over to the group. The warriors jumped up as he approached them.
“You, you, and you,” said the man. “Come with me.”
The three selected warriors marched quickly out of the courtyard, following their instructor. After they were gone from sight, the remaining students sat back down.
“Two girls and a guy,” said Magenta. “I wonder how the girls can carry a broadsword and a spear.”
“I wonder where they’re going,” said Kapu.
Suddenly a little ringing sound came from Lauralee. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a round golden watch. “Oh no! I only have two minutes to get to math class! See you gals at lunch!” She rushed off.
“Hey, her class starts the same time as ours!” exclaimed Kapu. “We better hurry or we’ll be late!”
Kapu and her friends rushed to their class room. They had barely made it in when the gong bird flew in. They rushed to their seats just as the gong bird hit the gong.
Their teacher, Mr. Parle, walked in and put his books on his desk and faced the class. “Today, class, we will begin a new language,” he said. “But first I have new seating arrangements for all of you.”
The class cheered.
Mr. Parle picked up a piece of paper. “Table one: Macha and Greenly. Table two: Lalu and Lecca. Table three: Rouge and Lorna. Table four: Naej and Aren. Table five: Whel and Leal. Table six: Kapu…”
Oh please, oh please, God, she pleaded. Let me sit by Larate.
“…and Larate,” said Mr. Parle.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Kapu thanked God.
Larate, who wore a dark brown tunic, walked over to the table.
“Table seven: Lorinna and Magenta.” The two girls walked over to the table. “Now, we’ll begin with the language. During the next following months, I will teach you the language of Berat. First, we’ll begin with the simple conversations. Since Berat is a very hostile and war-like country, with which we hope to make peace with, you will have to be careful with what you say. For instance, if you say hello or hi there, you’ll be killed instantly.”
The students gasped.
“Instead you say, ‘who dares to walk before me?’ said Mr. Parle. “As you see, it uses our same words but since it’s crucial to use them correctly we added it to the Multiple Tongues course. Now, let’s continue on with the lesson. Let’s say if I wanted to answer the question I had previously asked, I’d reply thusly: ‘It is, I, Mr. Parle who dares!’”
Suddenly a loud wailing noise sounded throughout the classroom.
As students started to panic, Mr. Parle quickly took action.
“Everybody get in a single file line, and head directly to the meeting place.”
They quickly obeyed him, and hurried toward the woods. There other teachers and students from various classes were waiting and chatting nervously. In front of all of them were a group of warriors with their weapons at ready. Although, just students, they were ready and willing to protect them from any possible danger.
A tall female knight rode out toward them on horseback. Her long black hair went past her metal clad shoulders, and her gray eyes scanned the group. “It’s alright. It was just a drill.” She said to everybody, and then she turned her attention to the warriors. “Have them stay here until you receive orders to let them in. The High Office of the ville will make an announcement that everybody will be able to hear.”
The warriors nodded, and the lady rode off. Soon after that, a little melodious ring came forth from the ville.
“This was just a drill. You all did very well. Everybody may go back to what they were doing.”
The warriors put back their weapons, and made sure that everybody was on their way back to the ville.
When Mr. Parle and his students reached their classroom, he instructed them to be seated.
“You all did very well just now,” he said, “I’m proud of you all.”
“Mr. Parle?” asked Rouge. “What would have happened if it was real?”
“Well,” said Mr. Parle, “while we would be waiting in the woods, the head scout would be close to the city to determine the winner and…”
“What do you mean?” asked Naej.
“I mean,” said Mr. Parle, “that the head scout would be carefully watching the ongoing battle. If we were loosing, the head scout would come back and tell other scouts, then they would tell us the outcome, as well as the other groups of people in hiding.”
“What would we do then?” asked Aren.
“We would go to the castle,” replied Mr. Parle.
The gong bird flew in, and the class was over.
“Class…” Mr. Parle started to say, but was interrupted by the stampede of his students rushing out the door, “dismissed.” He finished.
“Excuse me, Mr. Parle?” asked Kapu, who had a troubled look on her face.
“Kapu, what can I do for you?”
“What would happen if the castle was taken over?”
“Try not to worry about that for now,” said Mr. Parle. “We have good warriors here so we wouldn’t lose a battle. As for the castle, it has even more skilled warriors and knights to protect it. So you see no need to worry.”
Kapu went out to meet her friends so they could eat lunch together. When they got the food they wanted, they went to the square and sat down at a table.
There were two warriors guarding the square. They were there to make sure no fights started and to check for any intruders.
“So what did you guys think of the drill?” asked Lauralee. “I thought it was for real.”
“You and our entire class,” said Magenta. “I’m glad it was just a drill.”
“Hey, Kapu,” said Lauralee. “What’s the matter? You haven’t eaten anything.”
“She’s probably too happy about her new table mate in Multiple Tongues,” said Lorinna. “It’s Larate.”
Magenta shook her head. “If that was the case, then why is she so gloomy looking?”
“You’re right,” said Lorinna. “What’s wrong, Kapu?”
“Well…” said Kapu, “that drill got me thinking. What would we do if our ville and our castle gets taken over?”
“Oh, Kapu!” sighed Lauralee. “You worry too much! We have great warriors!”
“That’s what Mr. Parle said when I asked him,” said Kapu.
“Well,” said Lauralee, flipping her long hair back with her hand, “great minds do think alike.”
“I want to know the answer,” said Kapu, ignoring Lauralee’s comment.
When things bug her like this, thought Magenta, she worries so much that she can’t focus on anything else.
“Kapu,” said Magenta, “if you’re so worried why not ask one of the warriors. Surely they would know.”
“Magenta, you’re a genius!” exclaimed Kapu, and then she started to eat her lunch.
“Are you crazy?” asked Lauralee. “Going up to a warrior just like that?”
“Sure,” said Kapu, between bites. “Why not?”
“Well,” said Lauralee, “they’re warriors! They’d probably tell you to mind your own business or something like that. They can be really mean to people! You see what they do to each other! Trying to cut their fellow warrior’s arms and legs off. Imagine what they would do to non-warriors!”
“Oh, Lauralee,” said Kapu. “When they do that, they’re practicing for battle.”
After Kapu finished her lunch, she headed towards the warriors. She looked back at her friends for support. Magenta and Lorinna gave her thumbs up, but Lauralee just shook her head. Kapu sighed and slowly approached a female warrior.
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