TITLE: I've Been Given Time Back
By michelle Hays
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My daughter has been showing signs of developmental delay. I took her to the pediatrician for a regular check up and he told me to see a pediatric therapist. The therapist saw Katy and sent me to a neurologist. Naturally, I was a nervous and emotional wreck. My heart was breaking and I feared the worst.
I had prayed the day before we took Katy to the neurologist, and God spoke to my heart about lots of "Big Picture" stuff. You know, things about his faithfulness, and how He has never put me through something where I came out worst. He told me about His pact with me. How He makes covenant to the third and fourth generations. He reminded me that Hes not just "any God" (because of my fear and doubt about my daughters condition). He said that Katy is a blessing, that her health is perfect, Just like His design for her life.
"All is good," I said to God "but tell me something to keep me from going insane tomorrow. I get the big picture. What do I hang on to for hope tomorrow? Please, give me something more tangible!"'
This is what God spoke CLEARLY into my heart:
"Dont compare, and dont judge (Katy). She is Katy, and is not like anybody else. You will go through a bumpy start. That is all."
I went in to the Pediatric Neurologist, and he did a thorough physical exam on Katy. I held my breath. I would not fear. I would not fear. I would not fear. Finally, he gave his diagnosis. Katy had Low Muscle Tone.
In most cases Low Muscle Tone will improve by itself, but in some cases it needs some therapy. Choosing therapy now, however, will help Katy catch up to the developmental milestones she should have already reached.
I will have to take Katy to physical therapy three times a week. She is supposed to have therapy every day, so when we dont see the therapist, Katy will visit therapist Mom (AKA me). I will have to pay more attention to her, and help her learn to use all her muscles (from the little ones in her fingers to the big ones on her thighs and arms). Basically, I will guide her through her discovery of the world.
Low muscle tone. Physical therapy. It all makes sense.
A bumpy start.
Meanwhile, I feel overjoyed. I get to help Katy discover the world. I get to inspire her. I get to stop time. We dont need to rush. We have been ordered to take it slow. One day at a time. Moment by moment. I get to do what so many moms dont. I get to take mental pictures. To make special memories. To share the joy of discovering my daughter as she discovers the world. Why would God be so kind? I waited and longed for a child so long (I was told I couldnt have children), and now He is making sure I dont miss a moment. We have to stop and smell the flowers as the world passes by in a furious rush. God is so wonderful! Hes allowed me to change who I am in order to help my daughter become who she is. All this before my accelerated character makes a negative impact on Katy. (Im in the buisness of media and am ALL about deadlines...every minute counts haha!)
I always thought I wanted to live in the old days. Days like those of the pioneers. Before the Internet, telephone and clocks ruled every minute of a person. Now, I get to throw away the development timelines and the screaming agendas, and trade them in for a smiling baby who just wants to dance.
After the long wait for a child Ive been given back time.
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