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THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Stalker
By Al Boyce
08/22/06
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I like this poem, but I'm not much of a poet. Can someone help with the structure and rhyme scheme to make it more presentable?
In my dream I walked
Through wreaths of fog
Toward a flashing light of red
And as I drew close
I saw the words
You've a "Message" it said.

Somehow I knew
Before listening
What message I would hear
But I pushed "play"
And as fog dispersed
The message became clear.

"Beloved," it said
"Please come to me
"You know your heart is mine
"Cast off your loves
"They can't compete"
Then static on the line.

In panic then
I quickly dressed
And ran out to my car
Only to find
An envelope
I knew it from afar.

In letters cut
From magazines
My name was on its front
Inside a card
"Beloved," it said
"You know I'm all you want."

"Stalker!" I hissed
My panic built
Should I call police?
Who could it be
Someone I knew?
I prayed, please give me peace

And I awoke
Alone in bed
To a ringing telephone
Relieved I groped
To pick it up
And heard, "You're all alone."

This can't be
I thought in fear
I left that all behind
The stalker's just
A figment of
My active, dreaming mind

But bit by bit
Awareness came
I checked my caller log
And at the end
I caught my breath
The last call came from God.

No stalker this
I thought at once
But the lover of my soul
And doubt crept in
As I thought of how
I'd kept the Lord on hold.

But other lovers?
What on earth
Did that message mean?
But I looked around
At house and car
At all things bought with green

Where does He rank?
I slowly thought
In this, my busy life
In double digits
Way down my list
The thought cut like a knife

I ignore His letters
Signed with blood
Content to stay alone
Denying Him
His fine attempts
To romance this heart of stone

Yet still He calls
Leaves messages
My "stalker" from on high
Hoping, with love
I will repent
And one day
To Him
Fly
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