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TRUST JESUS TODAY
More poetry to be included in an anthology for grieving mothers/parents.
You softly walked away from us,
And made a new home in heaven,
a few days after,
I went to the hospital
to hold the babe,
all 2 pounds 13 ounces of her.
The nurses let me hold your baby girl,
wreathed in balloon-colored
wires and tubes.
We wrapped her in bunting
and wrapped her again,
Taped to her bassinette were two pictures
placed so your little girl
if she were able,
One picture was of you holding her,
(the only one taken)
And the other was
taken many years earlier.
(The ballpoint still plain:February 1979)
It was of
me holding you,
sitting by your bassinette,
in a rocker.
I was round and proud and smiling
I was not nearly as beautiful
a mother as you.
And by the bassinette,
In a rocker,
I was holding Julia.
(Pictures of this were yet to be.)
As happened every night I held your baby,
I held your baby so close that her bunting grew damp.
I did nothing to stop the tears.
Just the baby and I
sitting in the rocker
quietly breathing together,
her head to my breast.
I asked the nurses to wipe
…I was so wet from weeping.
Clear down to my collarbone
they wiped my tears
where little lakes of grief washed
Just days after you softly
I leaned back in the rocking chair.
Our nurse had left it by the bassinette
waiting for me every day.
The nursery buzzed and hummed intensely
with life-giving machinery.
There were round, young mothers
proud as mama peacocks…
rocking their peanut babies,
and there was me…
Weeping, weeping, weeping.
And as I lay my head against the back of the chair,
and closed my eyes in prayerful
I felt arms encircle my neck.
such love in the embrace…!
I let my head fall deeply into her arms.
And what was it I felt?
Her pride in me?
The thought came to me…
you are here.”
That moment lasted forever in a second.
I was as close to peace as I have ever been since you
climbed that path to God.
Just your babe and I in the rocking chair,
and you behind us,
And in the center of the aftermath,
in one second...
an eternity of peace.
I took a picture...
you can view it in my heart.
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