It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:
1) Post your first piece.
2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.
3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.
4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.
TRUST JESUS TODAY
I started this piece off as a story to my tween daughters and it suddenly turned into a piece of poetry. Maybe it's the prologue to something greater. Maybe it stands alone. Anyway, I'd like to know what you think. Thanks!
If children dream of Pegasus wings
And stranger things like a dragon who sings,
Of what pray tell do unicorns dream?
It's a golden ring set to inspire
With words engraved by Elvin fire.
A fire so hot it burns as blue
Only one elf handles it, his name is Kru.
Kru is the King of a mighty land
It’s across the forest, across the sand.
By the sea you’ll find his breathtaking home
It will take a while, many miles you’ll roam.
Atop a large hill sits his castle
And to get inside is quite a hassle.
There’s a two headed lion and a horse eating snake
Then you cross in a boat, what seems like a lake.
Finally you approach what looks like a door,
But that’s not it you’ll come across more!
There’s a hundred foot rosebush with ten foot thorns
And a speckled ram with long silver horns.
There’s a hungry tiger that hasn’t eaten in days
And a journey through the King’s own maze.
Ah, at last you’ll come to the end
And a message to the King of rejoicing they send.
Worthy at last of a prize are you
A reward of the finest has finally come due.
Kru will appear with a smile on his face
Along with the rest of the whole elfin race.
He approaches slowly, the golden ring on his finger
And strokes your head, but on your horn does linger.
The heat travels slowly as the magic does work
But you don’t move away not a twinge nor a jerk.
Then it’s all over just as quick as it began
The ring is gone from the King’s own hand.
“Well done,” He says, “Well done, indeed.”
“My faithful servant you are much more than a steed.”
“You kept searching for me through trouble and doubt-
Even though the struggle about wore you out.”
He smiled a deep smile, wrinkles crinkled his eyes,
“Yes, you kept looking despite the world’s lies.”
“Now follow me, I have one more surprise,”
He walked to the edge of the world’s sunrise.
He looks out over the waters and over the land
And gently leads you with but a wave of his hand.
“My cherished child, I love this part.
Can’t you hear the song born in the dragon’s heart?”
You nod your head with the melodic tune
And you realize suddenly, you’ll be leaving soon.
“This is a very special place, you know, my home.
You’re always welcome here no matter where you roam.
A Father’s love can never be lost
You are my Son you have paid the cost.”
“You’ve got to know that I know what’s best
And that is why your weary feet get a rest.
So fly my Son, fly out over the land and the sea
And do your best to tell the world about me!
You suddenly awoke with a startled neigh
An odd sensation on your back did lay.
You shook and you shimmied but your back really itched
You fidgeted and turned, rolled over in the ditch.
Maybe some water would wash it away
You trotted to the lake on that bright, sunny day.
One hoof, then two stepped into the water
Then you remembered the words of your Father.
You stood stark still ‘til the surface turned to glass
You caught your reflection as a bumblebee passed.
The weight once pressing now a gift from above
A pair of wings – sign of his Father’s love.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.