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TITLE: Hats Off To Mom©
By Fay Johnson

Ladies skit
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. 14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. 17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. 20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. 24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. 29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Plot Pageant
Cast Host (narrator), contestants or runway models presenting mom’s many "hats." Each contestant/model can be used more than once to accommodate a smaller cast. Only the Host has speaking lines
Running Time Approximately 20 minutes
Set Design Podium for Host, runway with lights if possible.
Props None unless a costume requires one.
Costumes Cook, Judge, Nurse, Doctor, Taxi Driver, Maid, Accountant, Seamstress, Student, Builder (Hard Hat), Take-me-Away (Towel), Teacher, Gardener, Counselor, and Friend.

Host Hello and good evening, we would like to thank each you for attending our pageant tonight in celebration of Hats Off to Mom! We have many contestants and without more adieus, we will begin our pageant...
Host Our first contestant is Cook Mom - she works very hard to keep her family healthy by preparing tasty, nutritious, well-balanced meals on a very tight budget -- on occasion her gourmet feasts escape from being burned, under-cooked, dropped on the floor, sampled by the family pet, and even more odd - eaten by her family without complaints.
[Cook walks down the runway displaying her cook’s hat] [contestants should be ready for their own special response – after comment, each walks down the runway, stops, turns and exits out a door and next contestant enters room]
Host For your question Cook Mom, what is your families’ favorite meal?
Host Our next Contestant is Home Improvement Mom …
Host Who is a hard-working, mega-patient mom that has all the right tools for what ever job comes available – at of course -- maximum power. She can measure twice and cut once AND keep Dad’s blood pressure under control all at the same time no matter how a project is going. Tell us Home Improvement Mom what is your secret and what was the last project you tackled?
Home Improv.
Host Contestant #3 is Accountant Mom who has the task of balancing the family’s finances – this Mom can reconcile a checkbook faster than a teenage daughter can spend the bottom line – leaving the budget always in the black. She has the ability to say NO to anyone and everyone in her family no matter how much they whine.
Host Your question Accountant Mom is which family member has the greatest skills of whine?
Host This Contestant is Seamstress Mom, she is always ready repair a zipper or replace a button -- without any comments about exercise or the latest diet. She can also hem a dress or pair of pants – and on occasion straight.
Host What is your procedure to replace buttons?
Host Now our next Contestant is Student Mom – she is working very hard to better her family’s future and update her job skills by going back to college. She writes term papers, studies for exams, and maintains a 4.0 Grade Point Average – which enables her to help with her children’s homework.
Host What is your least favorite subject and why?
Host This Contestant is her Honorable Judge Mom – who can tell the guilty party and impose punishment with utmost precision. She can get to the bottom of any situation with complete fairness – even if it’s Dad.
Host What was your last case and the verdict?
Host Our next Contestant is Gardener Mom, she plants a vegetable garden, flower garden, and herb garden. She weeds, fertilizes, and keeps the lawn trimmed. She can spot and kill a dandelion quicker than you can say "Round Up."
Host What are your favorite plants and why?
Host This Contestant is Nurse Mom, she provides tender loving care for her family when they have the flu, colds, temperature, or injuries. She can diagnose exactly what the ailment is and best medication for the job. She knows off the top of her head the exact dosage needed for each family member. She keeps a variety of colorful and entertaining bandages on hand at all times – even for the biggest patients – Dad.
Host Your question, Nurse Mom is what type of cold medicine does your family prefer?
Host The next Contestant is Counselor Mom. She listens to problems and only gives advise when absolutely asked for it. When she is asked, she gives wise counsel – perhaps on clothing and accessories, hair coloring techniques, boy or girl problems, repairing relationships with friends – this Mom is an excellent wealth of information.
Host Counselor Mom, what was your last counseling session like?
Host Teacher Mom is our next contestant, she can examine and correct homework with extreme accuracy. She can explain any problem set before her with complete ease AND illustrate any answer so all of her children understand completely.
Host Your question is – explain quantification in the Scientific Method.
Host Our next Mom is Doctor Mom, who always has the perfect remedy for what ever is ailing a member of her family.
Host Your question is what is your greatest home remedy?
Host The next Contestant is mostly over-looked and under appreciated – Maid Mom, she can oversee even the most extensive cleaning projects – the kids’ room, including closets, drawers, and under the bed!
Host Question: how do you make sure the weekly chores are done?
Host Taxi Driver Mom is also one that gets no respect! She strives to always be on time except when traffic is especially heavy or someone forgets to remind her about a certain game or teacher conference.
Host What is most number of games have you attended in a week?
Taxi Driver
Host Friend Mom is always there to listen to problems, exciting events like a new boy or girl in the class. She only gives advise when it is requested.
Host What is the funniest problem you have solved for a member of your family?
Host Our last Contestant is certainly not least – Take Me Away Mom, needs little explanation or excuse. She has suffered greatly from a world that demands everyone be an overachiever.
Host Read Proverbs 31 above
Host How often we overlook the duties and responsibilities Mom takes great care to accomplish everyday. Thank you Mom – our hats are off to you!
the end.

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