TITLE: negligees and ballerina shoes
By Teri Van Pelt
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I was really meant for negligees and ballerina shoes.
As a child, I didnít act the way most girls do.
I didnít play with dolls or want to wear fancy dresses.
I liked my guns, GI Joe and to get in to messes.
I adored my dad. I thought my mom was a sis.
I really didnít want to be a miss.
Then it happened, so long ago.
It was a horrible act and an aching woe.
There was a violation of my womanhood
It never should have happened. It wasnít good.
I was left broken and felt all kinds of shame.
My soul began breaking off just to handle the pain.
This inborn plan was given by God,
I had to separate myself to forget it all.
So, they came out to help me do my life.
Some wanted husbands, one wanted a wife.
It was this one that caused me a lot of confusion.
I thought I had lost my mind or had a demonic intrusion.
The years went by. I learned to cope.
Yet, inside I had lost all hope.
I was a woman feeling like a man inside.
I know now, I was trying to hide.
The time came to deal with all the pain,
I had carried through this male ego state.
It was time for him to find his proper place within my soul.
Heíd still be there, but Iíd be whole.
So I thanked him for all he helped me through.
I knew something happened. I really felt new.
I took a deep breath. I heard my counselor pray.
Lord, we give you thanks for the work here today.
Now, I can be totally who I am suppose to be.
I can embrace my true femininity.
I feel so different deep inside.
Itís like I have become a butterfly.
The beauty God created is stirring within.
I feel like a little girl once again.
Lord, I am rejoicing in the woman I am for you.
Iíll put on ballerina shoes.
Iíll dance with grace before your throne.
I am no longer marred, broken or alone
I am willing for your plan.
You have my heart and my hand.
So, bring me a fine negligee to put on for the night.
I am no longer afraid. It is alright.
God, send me the man you want me to marry.
Please send him soon. No longer tarry.
I have been restored as a woman of truth.
I am meant for negligees and ballerina shoes.
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