Home Read What's New Join
My Account Login

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!






It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



TITLE: 10 Goofy Angels
By Rod Loche

This short story was written in rhyming verse. I wrote it for children, but I hope adults can enjoy it as well. Some of the language may not be understood by kids? I'm thinking of trying to publish it. Any comments would be appreciated.
Ten Goofy Angels

As God stared down at creation one day
He saw Darren Mghee just working away
Walking and talking and getting things done
Darren was as busy as anyone

He was there for his friends when they needed a hand
He was there for his job at his boss's command
Wherever he went all his kindness was known
but Darren was without much joy of his own

God wanted to Darren sense the divine
But He thought He might try something different this time
Then God thought of some angles He knew
They were somewhat different but they just might do

He called them at once, He called them all ten
He called them and called them and called them again
9 angels showed up but where was the last
God called him once more with a thunderous blast

And finally at last angel 10 floated in
Saying sorry your highness I got lost once again
God simply smiled with his hand on his chin
Then said I have a big job for you ten

Angel 3 spoke up first “consider it done
We won’t let you down, oh glorious one”
God then replied “I’m certain that’s true,
Now let me just tell you all what you must do”

I created this young man named Darren Mghee
I want you to show him your joy number 3
I know all your last missions didn’t go well
But this one is certain to work, I can tell

Here is his picture and here is his place
Now go and get started there’s no time to waste
When they got to the home Angel 1 flew right in
Followed by angels 7 and 10

Darren was praying at the foot of his bed
The 3 listened close to each word Darren said
The prayer rose to heaven like a wonderful scent
And the three angels wondered just why they were sent

When they started to leave number 10 stubbed his toe
On the foot of the bed and it started to grow
Swelling and hurting and puffy and round
Number 3 whispered “10 please don’t make a sound”

They flew out the window to join with the rest
Angel 7 said “Darren Mghee just confessed
He prayed to the father and prayed to the son”
“I don’t think he needs us” said angel 1

“But we were given a job to do from the Boss
If we fail to complete it you know it will cost
We must reach’em and teach’em and maybe beseech’em
Read’em and feed’em and possibly lead’em”

Angel 9 then scratched at the top of his head
And tried to make sense of what 4 had just said
Then angel 6 said "I have a plan
I’ve got something special to give to this man"

"It’s special, angelic, incredible oil
It was made in the heavens at the throne of the royal"
Angel 1 said to give it but please don’t regret it
Angel 9 just stared thinking “I still don’t get it”

When 6 showed the oil and gave his reply
He bumped into 5 and poked 9 in the eye.
"Oops I’m sorry, are you guys okay?"
"Just give us the oil and get out of the way"

They all then agreed "let's anoint him tonight
He’ll be blessed among men and give humans his light”
They went to the home as Mghee did lay sleeping
In the still of the night all ten angles came creeping

Closer and closer all angels in line
As the moon hung above and stars brightly shined
Angel 1 calling 6 calling 2 calling 10
Is he sleep is it okay for us to begin?
Angel 10 calling 2 calling 6 calling 1
He’s sleeping the time for our plan has begun

As they all pass the oil quiet as could be
They smiled and giggled at Darren Mghee
At last when the very last angel was ready
While holding the bottle he kept silent and steady

But all of a sudden a funny smell rose
It spread through the room and it tickled 8’s nose
It was flowers that Darren Mghee sometimes picks
They caused 8 to sneeze and he bumped into 6

6 bumped into 5 who bumped 3 and oh man!
When they bumped into 10 the jar slipped from his hand
It fell right on top of the sleeping man’s head
And wouldn’t you know he jumped right out of bed

The angels all froze so they wouldn’t be seen
And poor Darren thought it was some kind of dream
A knot on his brow, oil dripped in his eye
He started to laugh, but he didn’t know why

His pajamas were damp and his head kind of sore
He looked all around then he laughed even more
The angels flew out all sad and depressed
They knew they had failed this one final test

They floated to heaven on wings of despair
To face their dear Father they had to prepare
When the Father came in they could not make a sound
They all hung their heads and bowed low to the ground

"We blew it we’re sorry we’re worthless our king
We could not accomplish this one simple thing
We tried to anoint Mr. Darren Mghee
But we didn’t we messed up as bad as can be"

"Nonsense you angels you did what you could
You did it just fine, like I knew that you would
For what your God needed you ten were the best
Today you’ve succeeded and Darren’s been blessed

You showed him your joy so warm and politely
You helped him to smile and to take himself lightly
He needed your gifts, and he needed your style
Because Darren Mghee hadn’t laughed in a while"
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.