Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
My Account Login

Get Our Devotional             Win Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!






It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.



TITLE: Please end me!?
By Karie Spiller

I posted a link to this in the message boards asking for a better ending. Please write a better ending for me when you critique.
Princess Marie looked out over the field. The squires were practicing sparring, horseback riding, and jousting. She smiled as she watched Squire John spar. He was quick, and he handled the sword well.

“Great job, Squire,” Sir William said as Squire John held his sword up in victory.

“Thank you sir,” he said.

He saw Princess Marie watching him and smiled at her. He thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He had fallen in love with her the instant he had seen her. He longed for a chance to speak with her.

”Sir William, could you spare a knight? I want to go for a horseback ride in the woods, and Father won’t let me go without someone to protect me,” Princess Marie said.

“The knights are busy today. The tournament starts in a few days and they are practicing hard,” Sir William said.

“Please,” she said.

Sir William looked at her fondly. She had been put under his care, and he couldn’t help but love her as he would his own daughter.

“I guess I can spare a squire. Squire John, go saddle Princess Marie’s horse and go with her,” he said.

Squire John quickly saddled her horse and brought it to her.

“Princess, your horse,” he said as he helped her mount.

She felt a little shiver run up her spine at his touch.

“Thank you,” she said.

“My pleasure, Princess,” he said with a smile.

John followed Princess Marie out of the courtyard and into the woods.

“John, how about a race,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Whatever you want, princess,” he said with a smile.

Princess Marie looked at him and her heart skipped a beat when she saw a tender look in his eyes.

“Or we could just have a quiet ride in the woods,” she said.

“I’d like that too,” he said.

They rode side by side for a few minutes and then John spoke.

“Princess, I am no knight and have not done great things, but I have been hoping for the day when I could speak to you. I have listened to you tell stories to the servant’s children and have seen you give of your heart to the people of this city, and I would like the honor of riding for you in the tournament,” he said.

Princess Marie flashed him a beautiful smile. His eyes held hers. She had been feeling something for him for a while, and she was not sure how to respond. All of a sudden Princess Marie’s horse reared up.

“Princess,” he shouted as he reached for the horse’s reigns

But it was too late, the horse fought for her head and threw Princess Marie. Squire John jumped off his horse and ran over to her.

“Princess, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes, I wonder what spooked her,” she said.

Then out of the corner of his eye, John saw a shadowy figure and heard a low growl in the trees. Then as the wolf pounced at Princess Marie, he jumped in the way and the wolf scratched his shoulder.

“Stay back, Princess,” he shouted as he unsheathed his sword.

John’s heart pounded as the wolf’s glowing eyes stared him down. Then the wolf pounced at him again. He thrust his sword into the wolf’s side and it fell down dead at his feet.

“You saved my life,” Princess Marie said.

“I would never let anything happen to you, my love,” he said.

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her cheek.

“May I have your dagger,” she asked.

He handed her his dagger and she cut off a small lock of her hair. Tying it with her ribbon she gave it to him.

The day of the tournament arrived and Squire John rode out with Sir William. On his horse’s bridle was the lock of Princess Marie’s hair. He looked up in the stands and threw her a kiss. She smiled as he rode over to the stands. He took her hand and kissed it.

“King Henry, it is my honor to ride for your daughter in the tournament,” he said.

“Ride true, Squire,” the king said.

After the tournament, Squire John rode over to Princess Marie. He dismounted and took her into his arms.

“I love you my princess,” he said as he kissed her.

“And I love you too,” she said.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.



REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.


To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.