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3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Twinkle, Twinkle 4/16/13
By Emma-Jane McLennan
04/15/13
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I wrote this at writing school, where the teacher didnt like the Christian element to the story. So, I would really love a good honest critique from Christian writers! Please don't hesitate, if you are honest I would appreciate it very much. :)
Beautiful, amazing and awe-inspiring; try as I might, the stars tonight remain indescribable.


My Dad used to carry me on his strong shoulders, up to the mountains. When we reached the observatory, I would slip off his back to look through the telescope at the worlds above. “Can you see the milky way?” he would say. As I peered wide-eyed at a universe so much bigger than me, I remember feeling safe.


Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky.


My best friend and I used to camp out on the lawn, and pick out the constellations. By torchlight we would flick through her old magazines, and read our star signs. Born only three days apart, we were fondly named the Gemini twins.

Never will I forget what happened that terrible Summer. In the most devastating moment of my life, Alana died. I guess she was
needed up there; somewhere. Often, I wonder if she asked to be a star. After she left I would stare up at the night sky and plead, tearfully; ‘God, would you please send her back?’


When the blazing sun is gone, when there’s nothing he shines upon.


Over the past years, my life really spiralled out of control. Sometimes I wanted to leave, to go up in the sky and be with Alana. Alone, I would gaze up into infinity, for hours. What lies beyond? They say you can wish on the first star you see at night. That little diamond in the sky was the only thing I truly talked to. Until one day, when someone told me that the same God who created the universe, also made me; and that he loves me. Is that true?


Then you show your little light, twinkle twinkle through the night.


I don’t know if I believe in wishes or signs, but I’d like to put my trust in you. I want to know what it feels to be safe and loved again; to belong. If you cared, why would you take Alana away? She was my best friend, and I miss her more than you could know. Do you know? Is she still one of the Gemini twins, a Child of Yours, a Star?


God I wonder who you are, and could I be your little star?
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