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Our Daily Devotional
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TRUST JESUS TODAY
Thank you for the Help
(Numbers on a phone being dialed, ringing sound )
Hello, is God there?
Of course! One moment please.
(only a second and God answers)
HELLO DEBRA, HOW ARE YOU MY DEAR CHILD?
(Quietly I whisper out of respect)
Iím ok GOD, I just needed to hear your voice.
TALK TO ME, I CAN SEE YOUR HEART IS FULL, I ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR YOU.
I have so much on my mind GOD, I know your busy and Iím not supposed to but. I just feel so overwhelmed, GOD I just donít know how much more I can take. I love my life , my husband and my kids. But GOD I just feel so alone, The pain of loss is just still so deepÖ
DEBRA, JUST TAKE YOUR TIME, IíM HERE
GOD, You know things are not always bad. You gave me a great husband and kids that do drive me nuts butÖ I would not trade them for anything. There is just so much, the bills, the chaos of this world. I just never know what to expect. I have so much inside my heart that I canít share with anyone else but you.
THEN SHARE, IíM LISTENING.
GOD, I miss my mom so much. I donít understand why you took her away from me. Other than the kids back them I didnít have anyone to lean on. You left me aloneÖand it has paved my road to where I am now
I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, YOU JUST DID NOT SEE ME THROUGH YOUR PAIN, BUT I WAS THERE. I WAS THERE WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOOK HER LAST BREATH AND HER LAST THOUGHTS WERE OF YOU . SHE LOVED YOU AND SHE KNEW YOU WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE IT, BUT LEAVING YOU WAS NOT EASY FOR HER OR FOR ME. I DONíT WANT YOU TO BE HURT THAT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION.
Then why GOD? Why has my life been so hard, and why am I so angry and cruel all the time. It is not me or at least not who I think I am or want to be. There is just so much I know it was my past, but all the bad things that were done to me by close family and people I trusted , I canít seem to find my way out. Why?
THIS WORLD HAS BECOME A HARD PLACE, I LOOK AROUND AND SEE HOW ALL MY CHILDREN ARE HURT AND I CRY WITH THEM. MY HEART ACHES FOR ALL OF YOU.
(GODĒS voice is shaken with emotion)
I LONG FOR PEACE JUST LIKE YOU. I ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR MY CHILDREN. WHEN YOU HURT, I HURT, WHEN YOU CRY MY HEART IS BROKEN AS WELL.
YOU ASKED ME WHY I BROUGHT YOUR MOTHER HOME TO BE WITH ME, WELL DEBRA
I DID IT BECAUSE IT WAS HER TIME. SHE HAD LIVED A LIFE JUST LIKE YOURS FULL OF UPS AND DOWNS, WITH THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY PAVING HER ROAD TOO. I WANTED TO GIVE HER PEACE, SHE WAS SO TIREDÖAND I LOVED HER SO I BROUGHT HER HOME.
I should have been there earlier that day instead of paying a bill, I should have been there. I could have saved her if I had just been thereÖ
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? I AM THE DETERMINER OF LIFE.
But GOD, you know I was wrapped up in trying to sell something at the stupid garage sell , I should have gone there first.
YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF YOUR FAMILY, THE BEST WAY YOU COULD, AND YOU ARE THE ONE WHO FOUND HER. DEBRA SHE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR DAY, BUT YOU WORRIED NO ONE ELSE DID . YOU WERE THE ONE. (SIGH)
IíM SO SORRY DEBRA , I KNOW IT WAS HARD FOR YOU, BUT YOU COULD NOT HAVE DONE ANYTHNG EVEN IF YOU HAD GOTTEN THERE EARLIER. I NEEDED HER TO COME HOME. THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE WAITING FOR HER, YOUR UNCLE CHARLES AND YOUR GRANDPA, YOU KNOW HE HADNT SEEN HER IN NEARLY FOURTY YEARS. THEY NEEDED SOME TIME WITH HER TOO.
Has Momma seen my baby girl, Please tell her to give my baby my love and hold her tight, Please tell Momma how much I miss her and need her. I ask for one wish every Christmas, just to see her for a second. Please GOD Please tell them both how much I love them. And God I know I didnít get along with Daddy for so many years. Ever since him and Momma split and I took her side he basically disowned me. At his funeral I overheard people saying they didnít even know he had a daughter, but GOD tell him I forgive him for all the things He did to Momma. I want him to be at peace.
Please GOD, Please protect us all and forgive meÖ I know your busy and I canít have all your timeÖForgive me GODÖ
(a knock at the bedroom door)
Momma are you calling me?
(I realize I was dreaming)
No Zach, Iím ok I was just talking to GodÖ
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