TITLE: The Underpass at I-459
By Denene Humphrey
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Trust (from Dictionary.com) - (noun) Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc,, of a person or thing; confidence.
I am going through so many things right now (aren't most of us?). My sister is having some serious health challenges, my marriage is in a dry, arid place, my job (OMG!!!), and I also have my own health issues to contend with. Some days I am so overwhelmed I don't know if I will make it. I cry, I scream and I pray - and I'll be honest here and say that what I am calling prayer is sometimes a gripe session with God. One day, while having one of those sessions, I managed to stay quiet for a second or two and actually heard the Lord speak to me and reveal some things that I didn't realize about myself.
As I was on my way to the hospital to find out what was going on with my sister, I got stuck in traffic under the overpass on I-459. On this particular stretch of interstate, there is a curve which takes you to the junction to connect to I-65 North to Birmingham (Alabama) from Hoover. As I was sitting there fuming about the traffic and wondering why I'm the only one in the city who knows how to merge, I had the urge to look up at the crisscross of overpass above me. As I stared at this wonder of human engineering, I heard the Lord tell me that I trusted the man-made interstate system more than I trusted Him.
I wept when I heard this. It was very painful for me to hear that I trusted man more than I trust the One who made me, and I will admit that God was right. I don't always believe God can handle my problems, and I hardly ever give Him the chance to resolve any of my issues. I'm a hypocrite. I say, "God is able," when all the while I have a plan of action already taking place. I say, "Jesus can work it out", but before I can get the sentence out of my mouth, I've already done what I believe is the best thing to do. The reality of the situation is that I think I am God.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. (NLT) Ok. So God wants me to TRUST Him. For EVERYTHING. Here's my dilemma. You see, around these parts, I'm known as "The Fixer." If something is wrong I will do one of three things.
1. I will fix it.
2. I will come up with a way to fix it.
3. I will find someone who will fix it which means that I still fixed it.
This attitude is a deception from the enemy. Living this way has caused me to become weary, stressed, angry, frustrated, sad and often defeated because in many situations, I've taken away the power of God and traded it for the weakness of Denene. Because of my pride, God's awesome, saving and resurrecting power has not been shown in many areas of my life. I've limited God and stripped Him of the glory that belongs SOLELY to Him. I've tied God's hands and then, with great audacity, I've become angry with Him for not making MY plans come to pass. How dare I???!!!
But, because God loves me, and has begun a good work in me, He has forgiven me for my pride and arrogance. In His faithfulness, He has allowed me to see that I AM NOT GOD. He says that I am to rely on His integrity, strength, and ability and do not depend on my own understanding (God's ways are most definitely NOT my ways LOL). He gently reminds me to seek His will, and acknowledge Him, in all I do, and He will show me which path to take. I began my road to trusting God by stepping back and choosing to let Him handle the things that I know I cannot do in my own strength. Yes, it's been difficult. Sometimes I cry and have to continually call on the Holy Spirit to help me let God handle these things. Since I've let go, I must say that I've seen God work many things out, and I am humbled by His love and desire to help, bless and heal me.
I want to encourage all the fixers out there to stop fixing it. If you're like me you're tired and frustrated, too. STOP. Let these things go. Allow God the opportunity to show Himself strong in your life. He really wants to do it! Give Him a chance to change you and heal you. Give Him that difficult boss, your unruly child, your distant spouse and most of all your life. Put these things in the Potter's hands and let Him mold that clay. Let God turn your ashes into beauty; give your trash to Him and watch Him make it into treasure. Rest, and allow God to be God.
Believe me, you donít want His job.
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