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The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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CRITIQUE GUIDELINES

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: Can You Hear Me?
By Patti Brown
03/08/12
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This poem was written for my mother and older sister. I wanted to give my sister a special gift for Christmas.
I remember the day
I found out what was wrong.
My perfect child, the one who survived,
had an imperfection I could no longer deny.
I cried for my daughter and for myself.
I shook my head from the guilt.
I walked away from my pain.
I remember when she understood
that her silent world was silent to her alone.
She heard no whispers; she heard no shouts.
That day, I realized I could try to talk with her,
but for the first time, I wondered,
would she ever be able to hear me?

I remember the day when
my mother learned what was wrong with me.
I could not hear my mother cry,
but I did see the pain in her eye.
She looked at me, shook her head, and walked away.
I remember when I discovered I was different.
I heard no weeping; I heard no laughing.
The silence that day was louder than I could bear.
That day, I realized I could not hear you,
but for the first time, I wondered,
could you hear me?

I remember the day I created mother and child.
So beautiful and so perfect.
I gave you to each other, but only for a time.
I did not walk away, but held you in my loving arms.
I speak with a voice that can be heard, but only by the heart.
So listen mother, listen child,
I have heard you,
but I wonder,
can you hear me?
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REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

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