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THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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TITLE: The Meanest Mom
By Sydney Avey
05/29/11
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This is not my genre, but I can see the illustrations and feel it is an issue mom's struggle with. No idea where to take it from here. Your thoughts?
My mom is the meanest mom for blocks
she makes me sort and fold my socks
my mom is the meanest mom, oh man!
I must feed the cat and clean out her pan
make my bed, make my lunch, pick up my messes
why sheís so awful I only have guesses.

Other kidsí mothers for sure arenít that way
they do their work and let their kids play
my mom says someday I will be older
and have a burden Iíll need to shoulder
Iíll need to do my part, says she
somehow she thinks sheís helping me!

Today I struggled down the stairs
with a trash can full of old parts and spares
of pieces of toys I hide under my bed
that make my mommy just shake her head
then I put the can back where it used to be
and my mommy, she turned and smiled at me.

The tired in her eyes just sparkled away
I felt a good feeling that lasted all day
maybe my mom is not really that mean
maybe she needs me to help her keep clean
the house we all live in and mess up each day
so she can have time to go out and play.
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