TITLE: My Struggles Continue To Haunt Me
By Felisa Walton
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My Struggles Continues To Haunt Me"
I recalled a sermon that was preached by my Bishop one Sunday morning, the message was "The snare of the devil". He touched on many areas relating to the devil. There was one part of his sermon that stuck to me. He broke it down plainly that the devil's main purpose was to kill, steal and destroy all God's people at any cost.
This part of the sermon really hit me because I have been dealing with struggles all around me. Smothering me to the point they was affecting me mentally and physically that resulted in me adopting to many destructive actions I got involved with just to stay sane.
My struggles were slowing killing me. I knew that when my struggles did come all in clusters it meant that my future was going to bright. The things that kept me up all night crying would soon have me laughing later. I would just have to wait.
It was already apparent to me, that God had already started a work in me. Which helped was found in Philippians 1:6 it says "Be confident of this very thing that he who began a good work in you; he will complete until the Jesus Christ. I really believe this to be true.
But what really keeps me holding on is knowing that God is always with me. In Hebrew 13:5 which it says, "I will never leave you or forsake you, Even when I couldn't see things straight there was a place inside me that reminds me of that verse which soothed me and I could go through the rest of the day.
I am not perfect; I have done a lot of awful things. I feel ashamed at times because I have written a lot of my work on this site where I talk about how God can work everything out for me. I believe it, but then another struggle hits me harder than the last.This caused my faith to not be where I know it should be and started me questioning God's word.
Sometimes, I feel like David in "Psalms". He had done some things wrong and he wanted to get it right with God. He writes in several scriptures how he was really feeling about what he had done.
One of my favorite scriptures come from Psalm 51:10 where he says. "Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. In verse 11 he says, "Do not cast me away from your presence, And do not take your Holy Spirit from me.
This is my wish, I have many struggles I face not only today but in the future that of verbal and physical abuse and substances abuse. Like David, I don't want God to cast me away from his presence nor for to he take his Holy Spirit away from me.
I still struggle, but there remains that special a little part inside me to remind me through my struggles he will always be there.
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