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Written but not entered for "The Critique/Review" challenge.
I'd love your opinion on a couple of things:
- Does the dialog-only format work?
- Do the characters have enough characterization?
- Would it be better with description and action tags?
Any other helpful critique you'd like to offer is appreciated!
“You can’t write this.”
“Uh, duh, Mama, it’s already written. And you've obviously read it.”
“You know what I mean – publish it, print it, whatever. I can’t believe you wrote this.”
“Why not? People like to read about stuff like this. Scandal sells.”
“But this is our stuff. We’re not famous. We’re not anybody. Who’s going to care?”
“It’s scandalous. Lots of people will care.”
“Quit saying that word. And the only people who will care are the people whose stuff is in this book.”
“They’re just characters in a book, Mama. Those people aren’t real. It’s fiction.”
“Yeah, right, 'characters,' and I’m Kermit the Frog. Obviously, you’re not the master writer you think you are. I saw right through those flimsy disguises.”
“You know, I’m really sorry I asked you to read it, now. Just give it back, then. Besides, you’re bending it all up”
“Hey! You asked for my honest opinion.”
“Yeah, your opinion on whether it was good or not. I didn’t ask for your judgment. You think writing about this stuff was easy for me? It wasn’t. It was painful. But I had to do it. The truth had been burning up inside me for too long, and something was going to erupt. It was either write it out or go to the lunatic asylum.”
“Oh, spare me the melodrama. Here, take your nasty 'book.' You should be thankful I didn’t toss it in the fireplace.”
“What is it now?”
“I wasn’t ever going to publish it. I just wrote it for you.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“You have the only copy, Mama. I wrote the book for you to read. I can’t get you to listen to me, and I wanted you know what this life is like through my eyes. Keep the book. In case you want to read it again.”
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