TITLE: Hope Whispers
By Laura Godson
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The rocking-chair creeks with steady beats as it sways gently upon well trodden floorboards, logs crackling in an open fire, flames bellowing out with such gusto and disappearing as though they never were. As I sit wrapped up in the warm glow, my mind races over a thousand memories, every one seeming like it was yesterday. My failing eyes catch glimpses of my frailty and yet contentment seeps through my pours. Life has been kind. My humble surroundings testify that I have not measured my successes by riches, my possessions are few, yet my treasures are abundant.
I reflect back to a time when chaos governed an un-tamed life, eagerly clawing and grasping at every vice, hungry for fulfilment and purpose and finding nothing to satisfy the inner longings of a weary heart. I had reached the end of myself, only emptiness awaited me, and the future seemed to mock the lost soul that dared not reach for it. Hope had bid its retreat long ago. My mind re-lived the moment that I stood upon the sturdy wall of the bridge that I had crossed many times from childhood, glaring into the glistening darkness of the river beneath as I dreamed of final peace. One step and it would all be over, the pain, the loneliness, the brokenness..... would finally all be washed away.....release. With a battle raging in my mind I resolved that this was the only way out.....and then I heard it...... “You are Mine”.
Had I imagined it? Was my mind playing cruel tricks on me, to taunt me in my final moments....and then it came again, “You are Mine”. How could this be? I had never been anybody’s, I had never know the love of a father or a mother. Rejection and violence had been my only companions.....no.... no..... this could not be...but then for a third time that still small voice whispered to my heart... “I have loved you with an everlasting love (N.I.V.).....You are Mine”. I remember climbing down off the bridge walls and crumpling in a heap on the cold stony pavement, hot tears surging down my face as revelation cut through my hardened heart, I knew that voice, it was the voice I had rejected many years ago, the voice I had turned from to forge my own destiny. In that moment love and mercy poured over me, I was overwhelmed. I wanted to give Him everything, but I had nothing to give. Silently I prayed a simple prayer, “Lord my life is yours, lead me, I will follow, teach me, I will obey.”
I could never have imagined the journey that I was to embark on. Through hardships and trials, through triumphs and victories, my Master had become my Friend. Faithful and true, He never left me, steadied me when I wavered, picked me up when I fell and carried me when I the way seemed too tough to persevere. As each year passed my anticipation heightened, my longings increased, my love deepened. I had nothing, He had given me everything.
As I sit now, an old man, my years evaporated into the air of the past, my body decayed with the ravishes of time, my modest home with its scarce furnishing is filled with the Presence of the Divine, my Friend is so near. I have no regrets. I have no fears, only peace..... perfect, peace. I await a future of untold glory but, one all-consuming desire courses through my veins....I long to see Him face to face. I close my eyes, and with my final breath I breathe a prayer, “Lord take me, I am Yours”.
Life Application Bible, (NIV) Jer. 31v3 Kingsway Publications LTD, Lottbridge Drove, Eastbourne, East Sussex.(1992) pg.1335
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