Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Read What's New Join
Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

BACK TO
CRITIQUE CIRCLE

INSTRUCTIONS
COMPLETE
INSTRUCTIONS HERE

CRITIQUE GUIDELINES

CRITIQUE TIPS

HELP TOUR

It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST





TITLE: The Most Beautiful Lady in the Store
By Alison Greenberg
05/17/09
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND

This is a short story I'm hoping to expand as a chapter in a book. I'd appreciate comments on how to elaborate where needed.
I went grocery shopping with Mom each week at age six while Dad held down the fort with my two brothers at home. I got separated from her one day in frozen foods. What had a moment before been a pleasant mother-daughter outing became a scary moment.

I suddenly felt small and very cold, staring at the towering freezer cases around me. Gone were the familiar frozen vegetables and ice cream sandwiches, replaced by a hollow whiteness of unfamiliarity.

I stood there open-mouthed looking around for my mother when a kind-looking man in a store uniform started talking to me.

I had just wiped a little tear as my lip trembled. Mom was nowhere all the sudden!

"What's wrong little girl?" he asked gently.

"I lost my mommy."
"What's your name?"

"My name is Alison, but my brother calls me Tinch."
"What's your mommy's name,Alison?"

"Mom."

"Can you tell me what she looks like?" He had me stumped with his questions. What did Mom look like? I could remember how she smiled at me and how she smelled when she was all dressed up.
"She's the most beautiful lady in the store,"I told him.
"Ah, she won't be hard for me to find," he said.

Within minutes we were reunited. Mom hugged me tightly telling me how worried she was that she couldn't find me.
"Silly Mommy," I told her. "You were the one who was lost."
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
YOUR CREDITS

LOGIN HERE