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HUMOR


TITLE: God, The Part-time Comedian
By Jacob Gibson
03/02/09
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Anyone who says that God doesn't have a sense of humor just hasn't lived long enough yet (or looked carefully). Here are several examples that prove that God can be very funny (along with extra Bible jokes at the end). Wow, more humor stuff.
1. Monkeys. God created them with the other animals. They throw things, jump around, have goofy smiles, and make funny noises. They don't act like civilized people, or even most civilized animals! Who knows if they were different before the Fall, but I bet they weren't. Don't tell me that we evolved from them; that's got to be one of the biggest insults I've ever heard! How can anyone believe that? And look at other creatures in the world that look and act strange. Giraffes are freaks of nature with long necks. Some creatures have several legs and tons of eyeballs. Most creatures in the sea look like they're from another planet. Hippos do something so disgusting that I won't even tell you what it is! Many things in nature are very strange and funny.

2. The difference between men and women. Anyone who says that men and women are the same except for physical differences... is either a liar or a moron. If men and women thought the same, wouldn't we get along a lot easier? Wouldn't we have less fights and misunderstanding? I read in a great book "For Men Only" that while most men can only think of one thing at a time, most women can think of several things at once! And that's just one big difference. We see things so differently that there's no lack of material for an observant comedian. When it isn't painful, it can be really funny.

3. The difference between different cultures and people. Now, I'm not racist and don't want to sound racist but you have to admit that this can be really humorous. We do strange things, eat strange things, wear funny clothes, talk funny, and have strange customs.

4. The difference between personalities. The Odd Couple. Laurel and Hardy. The Three Stooges. Ren & Stimpy. Spongebob and Squidward. The list is endless. To some people who are more composed, other more outgoing and noisy people can seem ridiculous and vice-versa. I know the stuff I write is probably very different from many people and I'm sure it may seem fairly strange.

5. The Bible is packed with funny stuff. King Saul came into the cave David was hiding so he could use the bathroom. Elijah made fun of the prophets of Baal when they couldn't make fire come down, and the Bible doesn't say that God corrected him for that. "Hey, Elijah, maybe you didn't need to be so harsh on them, ya know?" Did you hear the story of Eglon? He was a fat, evil king of Moab that Ehud killed by stabbing him in his belly and Eglon couldn't get it out. Most of us know the story of Balaam's donkey who spoke to him once to warn him about an angel, and Balaam was so upset that he didn't act surprised. Poor Ezekiel the prophet had to cook food over cow dung and Isaiah had to walk around naked for awhie, as more of God's shocking commandments to grab people's attention and warn them. And Jesus was pretty funny too sometimes. When I read the book "No More Christian Nice Guy" I realized that Jesus was sometimes sarcastic to the Pharisees and ticked them off when he rebuked them for their hypocrital actions. I find that funny and I appreciated sarcasm used to teach the truth.

6. God gave us a sense of humor. Why would He give us something that He Himself doesn't have? Without laughter, we would all be so serious that we would die from stress in just a few years if not weeks. Praise the Lord for good humor!

So remember to allow yourself to laugh every day, and help others laugh too. The Bible says so! Somewhere in Proverbs, I'm pretty sure.

*****************
Extra Bible jokes
******************

Jonah: Gaaaaaah!!! I'm in the belly of a whale!!! How can this get any worse??

Random guy: Oh wow! A friend! Do you want to play Sherades?

Jonah: Gaaaaaaaah!!!

------

Samson: Dad, you have to let me marry this girl. She is smokin' hot!

Manoah: Sam, she's a Philistine! We shouldn't intermarry with them! Isn't there another girl among our own people?

Samson: Dad, I'm telling you she is WAY hot!

Manoah: I don't care how beautiful she is! She's a Philistine!!

Samson: No, listen... she is EXTREMELY hot! Off the charts hot! Blow-you-mind-clear-away hot! Hotter than fire!

Manoah: It doesn't matter! Looks aren't everything. Inner beauty and godliness is what matters!

Samson: You just don't get it, do you? I bet you haven't even seen her yet!

Manoah: Samson!! Ugh. Good grief....... Son, did you know that your brain is also a muscle?

Samson: What's your point?

Manoah: Why don't you give that some exercise!!!

------
God: Adam, what is this that you have done?

Adam: The woman you gave me made me do it!

Eve: The serpent made me do it!

Serpent: Don't look at me I'm just a stupid snake. I mean... the tree made me do it!

---
I find it funny that the devil's number is 666, because God's perfect number is 7, and it's like the devil tried to get to 7 and failed 3 times.

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When the whole world stands before their Creator I guarantee you that the last thing anyone will say is "omg." >_>

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(If you would like to read more of my Bible humor you can check out "Solomon Goes Back in Time" and "Jonah: Best of Bible Sports" Forgive me, I don't usually advertise.)

Fact: a rejected idea I had for a humor article was something called "The Biggest Gainer", a parody of The Biggest Loser where anorexic people try to gain a lot of weight. Bad idea!
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