TITLE: Revenge of Dr. Random: This Too Shall Blow Up
By Jacob Gibson
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In our last episode, Dr. Random created a machine that accessed the writerís mind and began to randomize the world. His younger brother Modnar also created a machine that connected to the writerís mind and was able to vanquish the villain with the help of some new friends. Now Dr. Random is in jail and the world is safe once more. However, we all know that no one will ever be safe as long as there are... sequels to be made! Prepare yourself for even more lame jokes that few people will understand let alone laugh at! This will also be a good test of how nerdy you are. (Especially if you tell me that I did the game wrong) Fighting for the title of most random FW member.
Modnar: Now this is the life. Relaxing on the beach in a lawn chair with a good book and no bad sequels in sight.
Some guy: You said it. *takes a sip of lemonade* Nothing beats a clichťd beginning of a story.
Some girl: I just hope this story doesnít have any conflict in it, because that would totally ruin this.
*dark clouds suddenly blot out the sky*
?????: Nee hee hee hee!
Some guy: Oh no! That sounds like an evil villain! Who could it be?
Some girl: Do we even need question marks? We all know who it is.
Modnar: No way! Not him!
*giant blimp descends and a white-haired man steps down*
Dr. Random: Thatís right! Itís-a me, Wario! I mean, Dr. Random!
Modnar: How the deuce did you escape from prison?
Dr. Random: Before I started my evil plan I read the book 'How to Escape from Prison to Allow a Bad Sequel.' Breaking out was much easier than I thought.
Some girl: What do you want this time?
Dr. Random: The same thing as last time... a pony! No, that wasn't it. I want to take over the world with randomness! And this time I have the advantage. I rebuilt my random machine and have used the very fact that this is a sequel to power it and make it twice as destructive. Because we all know that everyone has very high or low expectations for a sequel, and they usually aren't very good since Hollywood just wants our money.
Some guy: How do you use a fact to power a machine?
Dr. Random: Now you understand me. It's a bad sequel! It's the power of the badness!
Some guy: Ooooooookaaaaaaay then.
Modnar: What makes you think you can win this time?
Dr. Random: Because... there is still one part of Jacob's brain that I have not yet accessed. And that is.... Japanese cartoons!
Some guy: Anime. Yeah, that'll help.
Dr. Random: Nee hee hee! You will see that it will. Modnar, I challenge you to a card game monster duel! If you lose, the world will be mine. If you win, the world will still be mine but I'll share it with you and buy you an ice cream cone. Now I will have my revenge!!
Modnar: Wait. Wait. Stop. Revenge? Okay. I am so sick of you villains saying that. It shouldn't be called revenge when YOU STARTED ALL OF THIS TO BEGIN WITH!!
Dr. Random: I can call it revenge if I want, thank you. I can also call it pineapple pizza or fluffy bunny rabbit!
Modnar: But it's stupid! Think about it. We stop you from taking over the world, you get thrown in jail, someone lets you out to make a sequel, you vow revenge, we beat you again, you go to jail, get out, vow revenge, we win, you go to jail and come back, vow revenge, and the whole thing keeps going forever. DON'T YOU GET IT?!?! IT'S NOT REVENGE, IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE TO KEEP TRYING AND FAILING!!! YOU VILLAINS ARE ALL MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Random: ...
Dr. Random: ......
Dr. Random: .........
Dr. Random: No need to talk with the Caps Lock on. It's not very polite.
Modnar: You didn't answer me!!! [censored...] *gets so furious he starts on fire*
Dr. Random: Ready or not you will duel me! *pushes a bottom on a remote and everything around them changes to anime style*
Some girl: @_@ Gah! What happened to me? My eyes just got huge and my mouth got tiny! My clothes look so girly! Ah! My motions are all screwed up too! Iím going to have a nervous breakdown!
Modnar: And what just happened to my hair? *looks in mirror* Ack! Itís spiky with orange and green highlights!
Some guy: *mumbles* What a moron. Iím just going to call the police. *pulls out his cell phone and dials 911*
Dr. Random: You think the police will help you? Nee hee hee hee! Youíre too late! Donít you know that the world is now anime and therefore police officers and most parents donít even exist! Nya ha ha ha!
Some guy: Oh no! Heís right! They just told me that police officers donít exist anymore! Only other anime heroes like Astro Boy and Naruto can help us and theyíre all busy!
Dr. Random: Let get this game started. It's time! To du-du-du-du-duel!
Michael Jackson: Has anyone seen my other glove? Anyone? I can't find it and it's driving me crazy. Fine, I'll just settle for one now.
(Back at the duel)
*Dr. Random and Modnar climb onto two small towers facing each other on opposite ends of a small playing field... that suddenly appeared*
Dr. Random: So, my brother, do you know how to play this game?
Modnar: Of course, I just so happened to learn it last night.
Dr. Random thinks: *Pumpernickle! I knew we should have played Backgammon. No one knows how to play that game.* Well Iím sure you know the rules then. We both have 8000 life points and when I knock your points down to zero, you lose.
Modnar: You mean when either of us loses.
Dr. Random: No, youíre going to lose and Iím certain of it!
Modnar: I doubt that. With the pancreas of the cards and my imaginary friend Buckwheat who I just now made up, you donít have a chance.
Dr. Random: Hm hm hm. I doubt that. Since I challenged you youíll go first.
Modnar: Whatever. Letís see what I have in my hand... I play Garden Gnome in defense mode! *sets down a card and a hologram of a giant garden gnome appears on his side of the field*
*thinks to himself: There, now that I have a monster in defense mode I can see what he plans to do and work on a strategy. Garden Gnome isnít very powerful so it wonít be too much of a loss. Wait, why are my thoughts echoing in my head like that? Agh, thatís so annoying!*
Dr. Random: Heh, playing it safe I see. Well that wonít help you. I play my favorite and most fierce monster, Pink Eye Brown Dragon! *sets down a card and a brown dragon with a pink eye appears*
Now, every monster that you put out on the field will get infected with pink eye and lose half of their defense power! Nee hee hee! Pink Eye, attack Garden Gnome with bad breath!
*Brown Dragon breathes on Garden Gnome and destroys it, causing Modnarís life points to drop to 6900*
*Modnar thinks: All of my monsters will get pink eye and lose 50% of their defense power? Shoot! That will make things tough. Nothing in my hand is strong enough to beat it.*
Buckwheat: Modnar, you can win this. Just trust your feelings, use the force, and pray to every god you can think of!
*Modnar thinks: Way to keep up with Japanís spiritual confusion, Buckwheat. I think Iíll just use common sense*
Buckwheat: Good luck with that.
Modnar: Okay, then. If itís going to be like this then Iím going to find a way around this. First Iíll play Advertising Knight in defense mode again. Next I lay this card face down on the field.
Dr. Random: Ah! The typical lure-me-into-attacking-you-so-Iíll-get-bit-in-the-butt trick. That wonít work. Because Iím going to play another monster! You should remember this guy well. Itís FAILMAN!! Now as a buff goblin. And since this time Leetman is no where to be found, I doubt you can avoid the sting of failure! Nee hee hee hee! Failman, attack the trap card with blazing fail!
Failman!: *shoots lots of fail at card and destroys it*
Dr. Random: Hee hee! It was nothing but a bear trap! It would have trapped my monster if I attacked you but now itís worthless.
Modnar: Perfect. You fell for my real trap and now Iím free to attack you. Advertising Knight, attack Failman with your lance!
Advertising Knight: Revenge of Dr. Random is brought to you by ďAngel of LightĒ by Mick Dawson in the faithwriters critique circle. Honestly, people, read it! Itís a great story! (Dawson had nothing to do with this advertisement) *Knight charges Failman with lance. Attack fails*
Dr. Random: Wee hee hee! You novice! Donít you know that any attack at Failman will fail? Itís hopeless! Ha ha ha!
Modnar: Are you serious? Thatís beyond stupid! What kind of rules are those? Youíre just cheating!
Dr. Random: Of course Iím cheating. Iím evil! Poop on the rules, I have money! Pink Eye, annihilate Advertising Knight with fire breath!
Pink Eye: *shoots fire at him*
Advertising Knight: Sesame Street is brought to you today by the letter GAAAAAAAH! *annihilated* *Modnarís life points drop to 5200*
*Modnar thinks: This is looking real bad! And why do I keep talking to myself?*
Guy standing in front of a pit: This is madness!
Spartan: This! Is! Sparta! *kicks at the guy standing in front of the pit*
Pit guy: *dodges his foot... grabs his leg... throws Spartan in the pit*
Spartan: Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!
(Back at the duel...)
Dr. Random: So, brother, whatís your plan now? Iím just dying to see it.
*Modnar thinks: This is stupid. How in the world do I beat someone I canít even hit?*
Buckwheat: Modnar, I think I have an idea.
Modnar: How can you have an idea I wouldnít have when youíre my imaginary friend?
Buckwheat: Because, if you can believe it, long ago... I used to be someone elseís imaginary friend. *two episodes of back story later*
Modnar: Wow, I had no idea. So whatís your plan?
Buckwheat: I dunno, I just felt like you should know that stuff. I guess I kind of failed at helping you huh?
*Modnar thinks: Pretty much. Wait a minute... fail! Of course! Why didnít I think of it before!* Dr., I just figured out how to defeat one of your monsters and youíll wish you would have covered your fanny. I play Lionbear the guru of common sense!
*a muscular half lion half bear standing on two feet appears*
Lionbear, attack Failman and aim way off!
*Lionbear misses Failman... failure fails... Lionbear hits Failman and defeats him... Randomís life points drop to 7750*
Dr. Random: Curse you!!! *smirks* Well, you got lucky there. But now that you made your first mistake with Advertising Knight and wasted a turn itís time to play a card that will be sure to guarantee my victory. I play the powerful and beautiful Muffin Princess! *a sparkly princess in a muffin-themed dress appears*
Muffin Princess: ^______^ Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin!...
Dr. Random: Muffin Princess could be my most powerful card of all. Because she has the ability to irritate you so you can't focus. It's only a matter of time before you lose your sanity! Nee hee hee hee HEE!
Muffin Princess: ^______^ Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin! Muffin!...
Modnar: @_@ I'M GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF!!!!
*Modnar thinks: Gah, how in the world can I win this duel? It was hard enough when I was able to concentrate.
Dr. Random: You probably wish that my turn was over, but Muffin Princess can do much more than annoy you! Oh yes... just to make this a total pwnership Iím going to do this to finish my turn. Muffin Princess, power up Pink Eye Brown Dragon!
Muffin Princess: ^_________^ Muffin! *gives several muffins to Pink Eye Brown Dragon, attack points go through the roof*
Dr. Random: Nee hee hee! And thereís one more thing you should know. Since Muffin Princess is just a little girl you canít attack her. Everyone knows you canít hit a girl!
*Modnar thinks: Crud!!!*
Some guy: Come on, Modnar, weíre rooting for you! Iím sure youíll think of something!
Some girl: Yeah, remember the power of friendship! Itís strong enough to beat anything!
Some bystander: *throws up*
Some dude: Okay, we're almost to the top of the mountain. The wise one should be here.
Some dudette: He better be! You led us up the wrong mountain and now my feet are in agony!
Some dude: There he is! Sitting on that rock near the edge! *both run to him*
Some dude: Oh wise one! We have climbed this mountain to seek your wisdom and wise advice.
Wise one: You have earned the right to hear my wisdom and each may ask one question.
Some dudette: Great, that's all I need. Tell me... who should I marry?
Some dude: That's your important question?
Some dudette: I don't want to make a huge mistake!
Wise one: If I told you who it was and you didn't believe me, you could marry someone else and my prediction would be false. But if you knew and tried too hard to gain his affection, you might scare him away and that would also ruin my prediction.
Some dudette: So then... you don't know.
Wise one: Exactly. But if I had to guess his name would be Charlie.
Blue and Red unicorns: Chaaaaaaaaaaaaarlieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Some dudette: DX
Some dude: Oh brother. My question is actually a good one. Wise one, I have come to ask you a question of highest importance and urgency. What can we do to stop global warming and save the planet?
Wise one: That's it?... That's your big question? You came all this was to ask me that?
Some dude: Yes.
Wise One: ..... ha! Ha ha! Mwahahahahahahaha! Ah ha ha ha HA ha ha ha!
Some dude: Excuse me but what is so funny?
Wise one: DAH ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Oh my sides hurt! *rolls on the ground and holds his gut*
Some dude: Stop laughing and tell me the answer!
Wise one: Hee hee hee hee hee! Gah ha ha ha ha ha-- *slips and falls down the mountain* Aaaaaaaaah!!
Some dude: Now I'll never know!
Some reader: Why is Jacob always so skeptical about global warming caused by man? Doesn't he even care about the environment?
Jacob: Skeptical?.......Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wah ha ha ha ha ha-- *slips and falls down the same mountain* Aaaaaaaaah!! *dies*
*Luigi give him and Wise One a 1-up mushroom and brings them back to life*
Jacob: Wahoo! Let's-a go!
(Back at the duel...)
Modnar: *plugs ears* Oh man, Iím going to lose it. Alrighty then. For my turn Iíll play the Star Wars kid robot in defense mode and lay this card face down. Your move.
Crowd: De-fense! *stomp stomp*
Dr. Random: More defending? I am laughing at you again. Youíre going to love this one. First Iíll set a card face down. Then I play the one and only Ultra Liberal Gremlin! *a slimy gremlin in a suit appears* Heís a faithful member of the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and Gremlins for Fashion. Since youíre obviously not laying down another trap card, Iím going to attack. Ultra Liberal Gremlin, destroy Mechanical Star Wars kid!
Ultra Liberal Gremlin: *sets a large American flag on fire and throws it toward MSWK to wrap around him... attack is stopped*
Random: Ha! Iím not stupid after all! You activated my trap card; Toonces, the cat that can drive!
*an old car crashes off a cliff and falls on Ultra Liberal Gremlin, defeating it*
*Keyboard cat plays him off... ceiling cat watches in horror... spaghetti cat eats spaghetti*
Random: Noooooo! Curse you!!! *life points drop to 6400*
Modnar: Now that you made your first mistake itís time to play a card that you should really appreciate. I summon...!
(Meanwhile, in another world....)
Timmy's Mom and Dad: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Timmyyyyyyyyyyy! *burst into his room* Guess what?
Timmy Turner: *rolls eyes* Oh no. Please don't tell me you're going somewhere without me again and you're going to leave me with Vicky to torment me!
Mom: Of course not son.
Dad: We're going somewhere without you again and we're going to leave you with Vicky to have fun! She just loves spending time with you.
Timmy: *sighs* Where are you going this time? A golf course? The opera? The museum of bologna?
Dad: Ha ha! Museum of bologna. Weíve already done that twice!
Mom: Actually, we're going to a parent conference to learn how to be better parents!
Dad: That's right! Dr. Spankerson is going to tell us how important it is to spend more time with our precious gift from above. I sure don't want to make the same mistake my father made.
(flashback) Timmy's Dad's parents: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh sooooooooon! Guess what? We're going to a parent conference to learn how to be better parents.
His dad: That's right! We want to learn how to give you the most love we possibly can.
Young Dad: Please don't tell me that you're going to leave Nicky to babysit me again! Sheís so mean!
His mom: Come on, sport. Nicky loves to play with you. She's the best babysitter we've ever had.
Young Dad: She's the only babysitter we've ever had! Please take me with you!
His mom: Now, son, this is important. You deserve the best from us and that's why we're going to be gone for three days.
His dad: Exactly! I remember what it was like when I was a kid, and I sure don't want to make the same mistake my father made. *begins to have another flashback almost exactly like Timmy's dad*
Timmy: If you have to go please take me with you!
Mom: Ha! Donít be silly, Timmy. Youíd probably be so bored that you would rather be anywhere else.
Timmy: Iíd like to see how she treated me if you didnít pay her just once.
Mom: Ooh, thatís probably Vicky. We better go so you two can be alone.
Both: Have fuuuuuuuun! *parents dash off*
*Wanda and Cosmo appear* Timmy: Did you hear that? Theyíre leaving me again! Even when I asked to go along!
Cosmo: Hey, maybe it will be different this time and Nicky wonít be as mean as usual.
Wanda: Cosmo, itís Vicky. You must be thinking of the babysitter in the flashback.
Cosmo: I did say Dixie!
Wanda: Dixie? No one said anything about a Dixie!
Cosmo: Look, I was listening the whole time and I think I would know a Jenny from a Tiffany.
Wanda: No, there is no Tiffany or...! Never mind.
Timmy: *begins to blockade his door* Thatís it! This is the last time I put up with this. I would rather be anywhere else than here with Vicky! I wish that I was invisible and in the back of my parents car!
Cosmo: Bologna conference here we come!
*Wanda and Cosmo raise their wands*
*bright light shines from above and a muscular fairy in army gear descends into the bedroom*
Jorgen: Timmy Turneh!
Timmy: Jorgen? Oh great, what did I do now?
Jorgen: You have dun nutting this time, but I cahnnot allow you to hauv this wish right now. You three hauv been summoned to a cahd game that will determine the fate of tha world!
Cosmo: Hey! What a coincidence! Timmy just asked to be anywhere else and now weíre going somewhere else that we probably wonít like!
Wanda: *looks horrified* Did you say the fate of the world depends on us?
Jorgen: *plays a recording of himself saying it* Yes I did! Iím sorry to intahrrupt this sure-to-be-hilehrious episode but you cahn come back to it lateh.
Timmy: Why are we the only Nickelodeon characters on the show? Why not Spongebob?
Jorgen: Spongebob isnít exactly dee violent type.
*scene switch* Spongebob: *dances with jellyfish while trying to catch them* La la la la la la la!
Jorgen: Now, let us go quick before my muscles get bored! *raises a giant wand and they all disappear*
(back at the duel)
Modnar: I summon Timmy and his fairy god parents!
Timmy: Huh? Where are we? Ah! A giant brown dragon!
Cosmo: And heís got pink eye too! My eye is starting to itch!
Wanda: Mine too. Agh! Cosmo, Timmy! What happened to your faces? We look ridiculous!
Cosmo: Wooooooooah, youíre right. We look like real humans, only with more exaggerations. And youíre... *suddenly notices Wanda, eyes get huge* Hummina hummina hummina...
Wanda: What? Why are you looking at me like that? *looks in mirror* Ack! Who gave me the body of a tall thin teen girl with pink hair and a school uniform? Stop drooling like that, Cosmo, canít you see this is embarrassing?
Random: Oh no! Not them! Last time he used them to summon Chuck Norris and beat me! I canít let that happen again.
Timmy: Oh no! Not him again! What did we deserve to come back to this world a second time?
Cosmo: You mean weíre in a bad sequel? *cries* Iím too young to guest star in a bad sequel!
Wanda: Wait, please donít tell me this is the same story with all of the corny jokes.
Cosmo: Did someone say corny jokes? *turns into a corn cob in front of a microphone* Hey everyone! What did the pumpkin say to the watermelon when it fell on the tomato? *a pig shows up* Oh no! A pig! Get away from me! Aaaaaah! *quickly rolls away as pig chases after him*
Timmy: *plugs ears* Whatís the deal with that girl chanting ďmuffinĒ? Even Vicky wouldnít be able to stand her!
Modnar: Donít worry, friends, youíll be out of here soon. Timmy, summon Chuck Norris!
Timmy: No problemo. I wish Chuck Norris was here again!
*Cosmo reappears with Wanda and they raise their wands*
Chuck Norris: *cracks knuckles* Well, well, well... look who got out of prison to make a bad sequel.
Dr. Random: *acts horrified then smiles* You think youíre going to win again that easy, donít you? Well maybe you forgot about the card I laid down. Itís one that I just made up... Magic Stop Sign! It prevents all magic for this turn. Say goodbye to your last hope!
Chuck Norris: Ah man! *vanishes*
Random: Now for my turn Iíll do this. Muffin Princess! Power up Pink Eye Brown Dragon again!
Brown Dragon: *eats muffins and powers up again*
Some girl: Look at its attack points! It's over nine-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
Random: Now nothing is strong enough to defeat it! You have one more turn and then Iíll wipe out Star Wars kid robot and Lionbear at the same time along with your life points. Then the world will be mine! Cheating is so much fun, nee hee hee!
The knights who say nee: Nee!
*Modnar thinks: Looks like itís time to talk to myself again. Buckwheat, what should I do now?*
Buckwheat: Eat your wheaties!
*Modnar thinks: Always a load of help. Ah ha! I got it!* I still can make two more wishes right? Timmy... *whispers something to him*
Timmy: o_0 What? Are you serious? How will that help? Oh well, Iíll play along. I wish that all of the cutest anime girls on the planet were here!
*Thousands of cute anime girls in different outfits show up for a few seconds and wink at Pink Eye Brown Dragon*
Pink Eye: @_@ *gasps...gets huge nosebleed... faints*
Modnar: Ha ha ha! It worked! Now your Pink Eye Brown Dragon will be unconscious for one whole turn. Thatís more than enough time to win!
Random: *holds a tissue up to his own nose* Uh... did you say something? Ah! What happened to my Pink Eye? Ooooooh, now youíre asking for it. I play mind control to take control of Star Wars kid robot!
*SWKR appears on his side of the field*
Star Wars kid robot, attack Lionbear!
*SWKR spins around Lionbear with a golf club retriever and attacks him repeately then self-destructs and defeats Lionbear... Modnarís life points drop to 3200... yes Iím pulling these numbers out of thin air, you think Iíve actually played the game?*
Modnar: I have no monsters on the field again! This is it. One last turn.
Today in Nature on PBS...
Bug-eyed Mouse: Welcome everyone, please gather in for our monthly meeting of Prey Worried Senseless About Extinction. We need to work on new methods to survive because according to the all-knowing, all-seeing experts our kind are going extinct around the world. Now after much thought we have found three options available to us. One, we can double our reproduction rate.
Bug-eyed mouse: Second, we can become carnivores and eat our enemies. Anyone seen Disneyís The Wild?
Confused chicken: The one with Simba and that funny warthog and meercat?
Bug-eyed mouse: No, that was Lion King. Third, we can evolve new defense measures to protect ourselves. It will take hundreds if not thousands of years so we better start deciding what we want right now so we can work on them.
Screeching sheep: I want to have wings, screeeeech!
Blue-spotted deer: I want to be able to shoot fire out of my rear end like those bugs!
Break dancing rabbit: I want to grow to gigantic size and get huge fangs! *break dances*
Gangster frog: Poop on evolution, lets manufacture guns and make them go extinct!
All: Why didnít we think of that sooner!! YES!
Bug-eyed mouse: Woooooooo! This is a revolution in the evolutionary process! Meeting adjourned! Letís get Ďem!!!
Tune in next time on Nature for Arms Race of the Wild
Joey: *pops a Wheeler*
Yugi: *pops a Moto*
(Back at the duel)
Modnar: My last chance before Pink Eye wakes up. Here goes! Timmy, what are your favorite Japanese movies?
Timmy: Uhhhhhhh... I donít really watch Japanese movies. Wait, there is one Iíve seen a long time ago.
Modnar: Is it this one? *whispers to him*
Timmy: Heh heh! Yeah! For my final wish, I wish that Godzilla was here!!
*a man in a Godzilla costume appears and roars weakly*
*Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Modnar stare in horror*
Timmy: *smiles sheepishly* Uh-oh.
Cosmo: Go Godzilla! You can do it! Save the world! Woooo! *the three characters vanish and return to their world*
Modnar: Iím doomed!!!
(To be continued... eh, maybe Iíll just end it now)
Random: So, brother, is that your final move?
Modnar: This canít happen. The good guys always win. Always! There must be something I can do. This next card is my last hope. *I was a fool to trust in an imaginary person. God, help me to get the card I need and know what to do.* Yes! I got it! Alright, brother, the story ends now before the reader canít take any more. For my next move Iíll use Copy Cat and copy the Mind Control card you played. Next, Iíll use it on Muffin Princess and bring her to my side to protect my life points. Like you said, you canít hurt a little girl.
Modnar: Then Iíll use this card Pumpkin Eater that will allow me to play more moves than I should be allowed. Next I play Resurrection to bring back Failman from the graveyard to my side!
Random: You canít do that!
Modnar: Just watch. Iíll use a Polymerization card to combine Failman and Godzilla together! Now that Failman and Godzilla are one, fake Godzilla fails to be a failure and so he turns into... real Godzilla!
*Godzilla grows humongous and roars*
Random: Thereís no way this can be fair!
Modnar: Now, Muffin Princess, power up real Godzilla!
*Godzilla is powered up with muffins*
Modnar: Next, Iíll give Muffin Princess five dollars and send her to the bakery, giving her life points to Godzilla.
Muffin Princess: ^__________^ *runs off* Brownie! Brownie! Brownie! Brownie! Brownie!
Modnar: But Iím still not finished! Since Godzilla isnít strong enough to defeat Pink Eye and also finish you off, Iím going to use the Power of Cheese to power him up even more with sharp fangs and claws!
*Behold the power of cheese.*
You know what they say. You canít have a good combo without cheese. Ha ha ha ha!
Random: You call yourself a good guy when you cheat even more than I do?!
Modnar: Finally, Iíll play Ginormous Cannon and put Godzilla in it and point him right at your dragon. And just to add insult to injury, I think Iíll let you have the honors of destroying your own monster. Why defeat you when I can completely pwn you! *button appears underneath the sleeping dragonís foot*
Modnar: That should do it for my turn. Your turn, brother. Thanks for the chance to totally destroy you in a card game again. Itís been fun. ^^
*Pink Eye Brown Dragon wakes up... steps on trigger... cannon fires Godzilla at him at blazing speed and defeats him... Dr. Randomís life points drop to zero*
Random: You filthy cheater! Thereís no way that was fair!
Modnar: Youíre just jealous because you donít know how to cheat like I do.
Some guy: Look! Everything is changing back to normal! And the police just showed up.
Police officer: *handcuffs the dr.* Random, youíre under arrest for trying to take over the world again. And this time youíre going to jail with no hope for a sequel.
Random: *dragged away* Nooooooooo! I will have my revenge! I will have it I say! I will! I will! I will!
Modnar: So, should we go back to relaxing like before?
Some girl: How am I supposed to relax when I know that Jacob could still make another sequel with another villain at any moment?
Jacob: Pffff, I doubt that.
Some guy: Ack! Who said that!
Modnar: Well, I guess with Hollywood thereís no guarantee that you wonít get a bad sequel. Who wants to play me in duel creatures! Iím all warmed up now.
Some guy and some girl: Ehhhhhh... *run away as fast as they can*
Timmy: Weíre back... and normal again. Well, that didnít go very well. Hopefully the world doesnít end because of us.
Wanda: You did what your best, Sport. Itís not your fault if he loses. He told you what to do.
Cosmo: Hey, look on the bright side. If he does lose at least you wonít have to deal with Nicky.
Wanda: For the last time, Comso, it's...
*door slams shut downstairs*
Cosmo: Oh look! Speak of the devil!
Timmy: Aaaaaagh! Iíve got to make a wish quick! What to do?! What to do?! What to do?! *stops, makes evil smirk* Cancel my last wish, guys. I have a much better idea. Come with me and be ready to grant one of my best wishes yet!
Vicky: *smashes down Timmyís door with a battering ram* Hey, Twerp! Are you ready for three days of mind-blowing fun with your favorite babysitter? Huh? Whereíd he go? The windowís open! He climbed out with a rope. He wonít get away that easily and I won't fall for a trap! *runs downstairs and out of the door*
Vicky: *finds Timmy slowly running down the sidewalk, catches him, and holds him up to her face* Ah-ha! There you are, Twerp. Trying to escape again?
Timmy: *smiles* Nope. I was just waiting for you. I thought you might like to play a game outside today. Itís called the hundred mile dash. *holds up a mirror to her face*
Vicky: Ah! What happened to my face?! My eyeballs are huge! My mouth is tiny! My hair is way too long! What in the world am I wearing?
A large gang of nerds: Oh my word! Check it out, guys. Just like the buck-toothed kid said. A real life anime girl! Snort! Iíve got to ask her out! No Iím going to! No I am! *chase after her*
Vicky: Nyaaaaaaaah! Geeks! Stay away from me! *runs away*
The actors who play Edward and Jacob from the Twilight movies: *run beside her still getting chased by a mob of girls*
Wanda: *chases after them* Wait for me, Edward! I need your autograph too!
Cosmo: Hey! She STILL never asks for my autograph!
Timmy: Well, I have a sudden urge to play Speed Racer. Are you interested?
Cosmo: You know it! *changes into a green Mach 5, Timmy hops in, and they race after the mob to watch*
Go Speed Ra-cer! Go Speed Ra-cer! Go Speed Ra-cer, gooooooo!
Some reader: That really wasnít as random as the first one. *gets tackled by a professional swimmer*
The end. The moral of the story is... buy more card games!!!
Fact: for anyone wondering Iíve only seen season one of Yu-gi-oh.
2. If you haven't heard of spaghetti cat yet then get thee to youtube on the double! (especially "I Weep for You" by Parry Grip)
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