TITLE: If I Were Boss
By Lisha Hunnicutt
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Mom said, “It’s time to clean your room.”
I hate cleaning my room. I wish I were the boss. If I were boss I would never clean my room. I would throw my pants over the foot of my bed and hang my underwear on the ceiling fan.
I would make an ant farm in my top dresser drawer, and a rollie-pollie farm in my bottom one.
If I were boss I would have a dog, a cat, a parrot, a rhinoceros, and a giraffe. I would ride my rhino to school and even Harvey Milton would think I was cool. All the kids would want to ride him, and I would charge them 50 cents a ride at recess. I would get super-duper rich and buy my very own rocket. I would visit Jupiter whenever I wanted. I would eat alien burgers for lunch and bring back souvenir Jupiter rocks for all of my friends. Once they saw the Jupiter rocks, everyone would want to go to Jupiter too. Then, I would charge $1.00 to visit Jupiter at lunch. I would become the richest kid in the world, and then I would hire a maid to clean my room.
Better yet, I wouldn’t even have a room. I would live in a giant hut in the African jungle and hunt jaguars all day. I would tame wild cobras and have a pet crocodile. Everyone would say, “There goes Billy, the richest and most famous jaguar hunter in the world.”
I would become so famous that even Hollywood would be jealous. They would beg me to star in their next adventure film. I would be Zeenor the Invisible, and save the world from Fletcher, the Mastermind of Evil.
I would buy a private jet and a great big old ship. I would be Captain Bill and sail the seven seas. I would battle giant sea serpents, and defeat dangerous pirates. I would find their maps and go in search of hidden treasure. Loads and loads of great treasure would be mine; gold, jewels, and diamonds the size of boulders.
If I were boss, I would rule the world. Nobody could tell me what to do. But, Mom si standing in the doorway with the I-mean-it-look on her face and the time-out bench in her arms, so I guess I'll let her be boss for a while longer.
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