Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

BACK TO
CRITIQUE CIRCLE

INSTRUCTIONS
COMPLETE
INSTRUCTIONS HERE

CRITIQUE GUIDELINES

CRITIQUE TIPS

HELP TOUR

It's easy to critique the works of others and get your work critiqued. Just follow the steps below:

1) Post your first piece.

2) You must then critique the work of another member to post another piece yourself.

3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



SHORT STORY


TITLE: Guess Who's Moving in Next Door?
By Sarah Dirk
07/05/13
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 SEND ARTICLE TO A FRIEND

“Guess whose moving in next door, Mary?”

“Who?”

“A couple with three little kids.”

A groan. “You’d think that after 64 years on this earth I’d be entitled to a little peace and quiet.”

Silence.

“Bet she can’t make a chicken pot pie near as good as mine.”

* * *

“Met the man when I was shovelling snow today.”

“Oh? What’s he like?”

“Seems nice enough. He’s a minister. Just starting out.”

“Awful young, isn’t he?”

“He does have three kids, Mary.”

“Ah yes, the kids. Probably will be screaming in the backyard come summer. What’s their ages?”

“Oldest boy seems to be about seven. Girl’s about five. Little ‘un seems two.”

“And the wife?”

“Prouder husband never seen. Braggs about her as if she’s an angel. Might be with the smile she gave me.”

“You always hankered for a pretty smile.”

“That’s why I married you, my dear.”

* * *

“She invited us to church.”

“Who?”

“The wife. Was out getting my garden ready to plant the flowers, and she came by to chat. Invited us to hear her husband.”

“And you told her…”

“I told her we ain’t been to church in forty years, and we aren’t aiming to change that now.”

“She got the picture?”

“She got the picture.”

* * *

“The two oldest kids were playing in the back yard today.”

“Seems normal enough, Mary.”

“Had a water fight. Could hear their laughter and squeals from the kitchen. Won’t get any peace. The pastor told me they are schooling the kids at home. We won’t even get a break from them during the day.”

* * *

“The littlest ‘un came up and chatted to me today. Asked me why snowman melt.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Told him to ask his teacher.”

“His mother?”

“That’s who his teacher is. She can answer all his nosey questions.”

“Reminds me. The girl came and watched me work on the truck the other day. Just sat and watched me with those quiet green eyes.”

“Didn’t say anything? She’s a quiet one.”

“Asked me when I was done if it was healed now. What she be? About eight now?”

“Something like that. It’s been three years.”

Silence.
“You know, they ain’t that bad.”

“You just wait till they become teen agers. That’s when the trouble starts.”

* * *

“The oldest boy shovelled the walk this morning.”

“He’s been doing it lately. Then he waves at me with that big smile and heads back inside.”

“The little ‘un was out making a snowman yesterday.”

“Do you think he’s figured out why they melt?”

A chuckle. “Probably.”

* * *

“The oldest boy just got his drivers licence.”

“My they get them early these days. Did he come over and show it to you?”

“No, the little ‘un told me. Chatty little thing, he is. Told me about the church pageant he’s in.”

“Did he invite you to see it?”

“Yup.”

“And…”

“Told him your knee’s acting up. Too cold.”

“Darrell! My knee’s ain’t acted up since surgery five years ago!”

“That may be, but I ain’t hankering on seeing the inside of a church yet.”

* * *

“The girl just graduated. Sure grew up fast.”

“Hmm. She came over for tea the other day while the little ‘un cut the hedges for me. Told me that the oldest boy wants to try out for the police service.”

“He’d make a good cop. Has a sturdy head. What’s the girl want to do?”

“Don’t know. You know how she is. Quiet. Just asked questions to get me talking, and then listened while I chatted more than I realized I could.”

“She has that effect, don’t she?”

“Learned from her mother.”

“What’s the little ‘un want to do?”

“Seems to changes every day. Prime minister, preacher, hockey player.”

“Hmmm.”

* * *

“The oldest one is getting married.”

“Yup. Saw the girl. Very sweet.”

“Are we going to accept the wedding invite?”

“Seems like an excuse to get us to church.”

“Seems like.”

“Well… maybe not this time.”

* * *

“The girl’s been gone a long time.”

“Can’t believe her parents let her go. It’s dangerous there.”

“She told me there are too many people who don’t know her God’s love for her to stay. She had to go tell them.”

“They haven’t heard from her in a long time.”

“What’s it been now. ‘Bout a year since she left.”

“’Bout that.”

“Think she will come back?”

“I don’t rightly know. I kinda miss her.”

* * *

“She’s disappeared, Mary!”

“Whose disappeared?”

“The girl. The little ‘un just told me they received a note that she has been missing for the past few months.”

“Dead?”

“No one knows.”

“How’s they taking it?”

“The little ‘un said she’s missing because she dared to give Christ everything. Now what kind of God could make her love Him so much?”

“Don’t rightly know.”

Silence.

“Bet she was sure a sight out there.”

“Ya.”

Silence.

“Do you figure we should go to that there church, and find out about her God?”

Silence.

“I reckon so.”

* * *

“She be alive, Darrell!”

“Who be?”

“The girl. Her ma just got a note saying she is fine. Coming home to visit next month.”

“Reckon she’ll be home for our… you know what.”

“Our baptism. Reckon so.”
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
YOUR CREDITS

LOGIN HERE




REMINDER:

REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

VIEWING CRITIQUES:

To view your critiques that you receive on any writing, login to your account and click "CRITIQUE CIRCLE MANAGEMENT" to view all of your critiques and edit each piece. Then, click "VIEW CRITIQUES" next to the article title to view critiques on that piece. Comments on all of your writings when using the Critique Circle will not be displayed publicly as regular and writing challenge articles. They can only be viewed by accessing them from your account.