TITLE: A Battle I Struggle To See
By Sarah Davis
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“Gunshots fire as I jolt in alarm”. Mary looks around the dark, unfamiliar scene that causes fear and confusion in the first few seconds before realizing it was only a dream.
Immediately she remembers why she is in this hotel room and is calmed to see her daughter sleeping soundly in the bed next to her.
The next morning they hurry to get to the court house on time, “He is not going to get away with trying to harass and hurt my daughter”, Mary replays in her mind. “I knew I should have monitored the internet more closely, but thankfully my daughter came to me before his lies that he was a minor tore at her body”.
“Mom, come on, I just want to get this over with”, her daughter urges.
“I just want to call Mimi one more time, she is not answering her phone”, Mary says. “Ah, I keep getting the machine”. “Ok, let me call our neighbor to check on her real quick and then we’ll head inside”, she says dialing quickly.
Her mind settles a little knowing her neighbor would check on her elderly mother who could not be with them today. However, as they are seated, her phone begins to ring and she notices it is her neighbor calling.
“Mom, call her back, people are starting to stare at us”, her daughter says.
Alarmed that her neighbor is calling so suddenly she says, “Just give me a second, I have to make sure Mimi is okay”.
Mary immediately feels a little shaky as she answers the phone and fear takes a strong grip as she listens intently to the verdict. Her heart began to ache in agony as the words, “She was shot and killed”, rang in her ears. Tears began flooding her face and shirt as she cannot control her hurt and pain.
Mary and her daughter are immediately accompanied out of the court house and into protection as she knows they were not after her mother, but her. “I had been the one to insist on pressing charges”, she thought.
Her heart cried, “Why Lord, Why”? Her mind began to ponder in thoughts she could not seem to control, “We put our trust in You; I thought I was doing the right thing by putting this horrible man behind bars”. “We prayed for Your protection”. “I don’t understand”, she cried out.
Hidden away in a world unknown to me, she is left with only time as she analyzes their current devastation. “My faith that I have always stood strong in, I can feel wavering in fear”. “How will I explain that God is still love and He did not want this for us”? “My daughter will ask why He allowed this to happen, and as of now I don’t have an answer”.
She grappled with her thoughts again and again, asking God to help her overcome and understand. “I know I am not to question you Lord and I know I will never understand some things You allow, but my mother didn’t deserve this”. She began to replay the scene in her mind, which has haunted her since that dreaded call, of what her mother must have gone through.
As she begins to see her visions play out, agony and distrust rise within her as she asks God the questions, “Was she scared, and was it painful”? Immediately in her torture of heavy burdens, she heard a voice gently say, “She was ready and I was with her”. She convulsed in flooded tears of release as a peace showered down and cuddled her in love.
She won’t know for now how her mother felt or what played through her mind during those last tragic moments, but Mary knows her God was with her mom. Immediately her visions changed and she pictured her mother strong in the Lord and full of peace as she was shielded in the Lord’s presence.
Mary can sleep now, in trust, knowing her mother is with the Lord and she prays in faith for the Lord’s guidance to get them through to the end. Their next court date is scheduled and she is more than ready to proceed in putting this man behind bars for his twisted plans and his death sentencing action.
“Fear is not of the Lord and no matter what happens to this earthly body, I know I am safe in His shielding presence”, she calmly contemplates.
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