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THE CRITIQUE CIRCLE

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3) For each critique you give, you earn 1 credit that can be used to post another one of your writings.

4) You can build up credits to be used at another time by giving critiques to others.
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SHORT STORY


TITLE: The Stories Of The Sea
By Ken Ebright
06/22/10
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Please look at grammer also tell me how I could show not tell. I also after dialog don't want to always do the "said miss Parks" I hope you understand whay I mean.
The bell rings, a middle age women get's up with black hair stands in front of the podium and looks at the class "Class today I am going to give you a challenge. I want you to write about your favorite sea animal or fish. The two key things that is required. First, you can describe the animal but you can not tell it‘s name. Second, the story has to be one thousand words in length."

A red head girl in the second row raised her hand, "Miss Parks."

“Yes Betsy,” said Miss Parks.

Betsy‘s smile on her face turned into a frown, “I don’t know how I am going to be able to write one thousand words worth.”

After Betsy asked her question, Miss Parks turned her head and looked at the rest of the class. “This is a creative writing class and this story is suppose to be a challenge. You can tell me what color it is, or what foods it eats. What part of the ocean can you find this fish or animal? Again you can describe it, but you can’t name it.”

A brown haired boy put his hand up.

“Harry, what is you question?” asked the teacher.

Harry Lowered his hand and said, “Does it haft to be the ocean?”

Miss parks smiled and gave a quick laugh, “It does not haft to be, it can be a lake or river or any other body of water.”

A blond girl raised her hand and waved it back and forth, “Miss Parks.”

Miss Parks turned her head quickly and looked at Dianne. “Oh boy, Dianne you seem enthusiastic today what is your question?”

Dianne laughed for a second, “Thank you miss Parks, Can we write a fictional story?”

Miss parks looked into Dianne eye‘s “You can, but you must give a description of the animal in the piece.”

Then Miss Parks paused for a second, “Is there any more questions”

No one raised there hand as the teacher looked around the classroom. “Ok you will have the rest of the period to work on it. Your stories will be due next Friday.”


*************

Next Friday came and Miss Parks got up in front of the class again at the end of the period. “Well class, I have briefly looked through you assignments. I want to be the first to tell you that you did a good job. Isn’t it is amazing to see God’s handy work.”

The bell rang, “Class dismissed, I will grade you papers and get them back to you next time.” Everyone walked out of class that day with a smile.
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REMEMBER, this is a Critique Circle. Please try to give a critique to receive a critique. If you do not want to give any critiques, you can use the REGULAR ARTICLE SUBMISSION area. If you are unsure about how to critique, please use the CRITIQUE GUIDELINES and CRITIQUE TIPS.

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