By C. S. Bae
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When Jesus was asked why the man was born blind in John 9:3, He simply said, it was for the glory of God to be manifested through the man's life. The glory that shined when Jesus touched his life.
I have a chronic disease that once held me in fear and grief. Perhaps more so because I was in my twenties, at a relatively young age, unmarried, and with a career still in pursuit. What gave me the most fear was the potential to develop cancer and dying a painful death after painful chemotherapies. I even contemplated the ethics behind assisted suicide, and how God might view all this.
I also asked God why. Why, Lord? Why did I have to incur this disease since birth, and suffer the consequences in my mid twenties, when I have a glittering future ahead?
But Jesus said the simple words: so that God's glory can be manifested through me when Jesus touches my life.
You see, I simply wasn't made to go to medical school, to become the medical doctor I aspired to be during college. God didn't give me the kind of health that I would need in order to go through all that rigour and come out alive. I sought the honor and glory of the doctor title that will be ascribed to myself. Worldly success has been my life's biggest--and longest--idol that enslaved me all my academic years. Enslaved, because I had come to hate myself for not attaining to the high standard for myself. Enslaved, because I even once contemplated suicide because I didn't obtain a high enough score. Enslaved, because my heart was directed by the compass of worldly success instead of Jesus, to whom I gave my life's lordship, or so I thought. Now I admit that I deceived myself into thinking I did.
I now believe that God knew what would prevent me from entering into His glory, even before I was born, and arranged an incident during my infancy so that I will have the disease. And now you may wonder if Jesus has touched my life and if God's glory have been manifested through it all.
You mean to ask, have I been cured of my disease? The answer is no and yes. I say no, because my lab results still indicate the existence of the disease. But I say yes, because I have been completely cured of my eternal disease, which is not offering my lordship to Jesus, who is rightfully my lord. Now, none of my fears and worries last a day. Now, I consider being anxious is not really trusting in God from the heart. Because I now trust in my Lord Jesus and believe in His resurrection and the power of that gospel, I no longer feel the need for the world's approval and recognition of who I am in order for them to accept the gospel that I wanted to share. He is the speaker, and I am the voice. Simple as that.
Although I do my best with the job I have, I do not worry about tomorow--whether I will have sufficient income or money for supporting my family or my retirement. Because Jesus is the lord of my life, I cling to His every word. And so far, He has proven Himself faithful. The Holy Spirit also strengths my faith. I do not fear the pain of cancer or even death, because I am confident that Jesus will be with me and give me the power and strength to endure through it all.
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