TITLE: "The Adventures of Plank Man"
By Jessica Schmit
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Sketch pad (in back pack)
Pencil (in purse)
Justine, female, early 20’s
Sam, male, early 20’s
Verse: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged… Why do you look at the spec of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye… First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5, N.I.V)
Justine: Sam, Sam wait up. (Out of breath) You won’t believe what I just found out!
Sam: (excitedly) you saw my picture in this week’s “Daily Gazette” beside the winning carton drawing, which just happened to be mine! Which means…
Justine: (annoyed) No. But did you…
Sam: (not missing a beat) I get to go on an all paid expense trip to Japan’s national capitol-Tokyo.
Justine: (confused) Japan?
Sam: (resuming control) Yes, Japan. (pause) So did you?
Justine: Did I what?
Sam: (annoyed) See my winning cartoon drawing! (pause and looks away) Am I talking to myself here?
Justine: (really confused) No, I didn’t see your cartoon drawing. Are you really going to Japan?
Sam: (sighs) I guess not.
Justine: Why the sudden change?
Sam: You said you didn’t see my winning entry. I looked three times through the newspaper and didn’t see it either. Which means that some Garfeild drawing wannabe is probably packing his bags right as we speak. (pause) Buying those mini travel shampoos and deodorant. Smiling wickedly into his stupid travel sized mirror.
Justine: You’ve already packed haven’t you.
Sam: (avoiding her) I’d rather not say. Anyway, why are we talking about me? I want to hear what’s been going on in your life.
Justine: Good. I’ve been trying to tell you.
Sam: It’s funny how when some people speak you can naturally tune them out.
Justine: Are you saying that you tune me out during our conversations?
Sam: (pause)No, I don’t have the King James translation. I prefer New Living.
Justine: Forget it.
Sam: (laughing) Wait, I’m sorry, I’ll try to listen.
Justine: Thank you.
Sam: (smirking) It’s just so difficult when you have flashes of orange cat fur with two beady eyes laughing at you consistently. Those eyes keep taunting me with phrases like “No Dim Sum for you.”(seriously) It’s really quite creepy.
Justine: (gives Sam a concerned, yet “I think your crazy” look) Ok. (pause, resumes energy) While I was at my Bible study meeting this morning, I heard that Chris (dramatic pause) is going to get a liver transplant.
Sam: (sarcastically) No way. You know, I think I read that in the newspaper this morning. Yeah, it was beside the article entitled, “My Grandmother’s Kidneys”
Justine: You can laugh all you want, but Chris is getting that transplant because he’s been a secret alcoholic for the past 30 years.
Sam: He’s only 34 years old.
Justine: Exactly! Pretty crazy huh?! And while Marlene was praying she….
Sam: How’d you find out that Chris is an alcoholic?
Justine: Bethany told me.
Sam: How’d Bethany know?
Justine: She found out at the women’s prayer breakfast. Well, kinda.
Justine: Yeah, well, the waiter at the restaurant knows Chris’ best friend’s babysitter and they said that they always see Chris at “The Galaxy Pub.” So naturally we felt the compelling need to pray for him at intercessory prayer this morning. I’m so glad we’re all in tune with the Holy Spirit’s leading. I don’t know what Chris would do without our support. Now that everyone knows his secret, he probably won’t have too many people praying for him. If you know what I mean!
Sam: (with no expression) Yeah, you guys are amazing.
Justine: I can’t wait to go to pastoral prayer time tomorrow. Last week we had an amazing time together. Just sitting together, praying over those who lead our church it was amazing how everybody felt the same towards the pastoral team.
Sam: Loving, supportive, encouraging, dedicated?
Justine: No way! We totally see how Satan has deceived each one of them. Like Jacob for instance. He leads worship every Sunday, but yet he constantly picks song which are totally Biblically inaccurate. Phrases like “You’ve left me Lord” and “Come Lord, Come” are wrong. We’ve all…
Sam: Who “we’ve all”?
Justine: All of us, the prayer group, have decided that his relationship with God is being separated from sin in his life, which is why he chooses to constantly sing unbiblical songs. So we’ve decided to…
Sam: Pray that God would reveal the sin in his life.
Justine: Exactly. And it’s not just Jacob, it’s everyone in leadership! Each one of them have flaws they’re purposely hiding from the congregation. It’s a really sad thing to see. All these people, living in secret sin. Living in deception. I’m sure glad I’m not in their shoes.
Sam: I bet you are.
Justine: And then there’s the pastor with his sermons like “Look inward, before looking outward.” I look around at all these pathetic Christians and lie believers around me and I think “Why can’t they just understand and obey what the pastor’s saying!” You know what, it’s probably because the pastor doesn’t even believe what he’s saying. I saw him rent movie at Movie r’ us and I’m sure I saw him pick up a pg-13 movie off the shelf to watch. And he’s always saying how we need to watch what we allow into our lives! That’s just plain hypocritical!
Sam: (takes out a pad of paper from his back sac. He looks for a pencil, can’t find one) Do you have a pencil on you?
Justine: Uh, (Looks in her purse) yeah, why?
Sam: Well, this conversation has inspired me to create a new comic book character.
Sam: Yeah, I’m going to call him (dramatically) “Plank Man!”
Justine: I can see why you lost that cartoon contest.
Sam: (ignores her comment) The setting is a lumberyard.
Justine: I see a lot of plaid clothing.
Sam: It centers around a 2 by 4 piece of wood, which is an ugly, forgotten, useless piece of wood.
Justine: Sounds attractive.
Sam: This piece of wood talks down and points out every other piece of wood’s flaws. He believes, because he’s been there longer than most of the other pieces of wood, that he’s better than they are. When, in fact, the color of his wood is faded. He’s rotten on the inside from the countless days he’s been out in the rain and his secret weapon is his stench.
Justine: His stench?
Sam: Everyone can smell rotting wood. What’s a better defense tool?!
Justine: What would be the point of this comic book character?
Sam: Well, every time he decides not to citizen or lie or gossip about his buddies in the lumberyard, his wood will become more radiant, his smell less vile. His goal would be to become a beautiful piece of wood, “Plank Man.” Not worrying about the others around him. So someday when the carpenters come along to pick out their choice wood. He would be first on the carpenters list for the taking to use and build with.
Justine: Interesting concept. That might not be a bad idea.
Sam: But here’s the key, he can only change when he realizes the lumberyard’s owner’s love for him.
Justine: I don’t get it. How could the owner’s love prevent a piece of wood from gossip?
Sam: Well, that’s where the adventures would take place. It would be a journey of creating a deep friendship with the lumberyard owner.
Justine: (sarcastically) You could call it “A Tale of Two Splinters.”
Sam: And once the wood realizes that he really is loved, he won’t want to offend or make fun of or gossip about other pieces of wood. He’ll realize that the same lumberyard owner who loves him, also picked the rest of the wood around him for a special purpose. Only after walking out daily in that realization will he be able to become “Plank Man.” A beautiful 2 by 4 ready to be used.
Justine: It’s an idea. I don’t think anyone would like it though.
Justine: Who would want to hear a story about wood?
Voice offstage: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged… Why do you look at the spec of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye… First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." (Matthew 7:1-5, N.I.V)
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