TITLE: The Jim Milner Show
By Glenn A. Hascall
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The Jim Milner Show
By Glenn A. Hascall
Synopsis: A host of a television talk show asks a group of people about what will happen to them when they die. Three guests are invited one at a time to share their stories and viewpoint. Opinions vary greatly and individual ideas are accepted among the group until the third person presents a rather archaic idea that leaves everyone thinking.
Jim - Show host, egotistic, seems sensitive but can become confrontational easily.
Biff: A country boy from Montana (or you pick the place), a little wild and dressed as if he's had a rough day on the rodeo circuit.
Skylight: A new age guru, harkening back to the 60's in both style and dress.
Wayne: A genuinely likeable guy, who just happens to be a Christian too.
A small crowd: To respond to the comments made by the guests.
Jim: Good morning (afternoon - evening) and welcome to The Jim Milner Show. I am Jim Milner your talented and better looking than most - host. Today's show is entitled "What's to become of me?" We have invited several guests to join us to discuss their views on what will happen on the day that they die. I realize this is a topic that some would rather not talk about, but hey, come on we're all gonna die someday.
Ladies and Gentlemen let's welcome our first guest Biff Brooks from Cornstalk, Montana.
Jim: Welcome to the show Biff.
Biff: Thank ya' Jim.
Jim: How are things in Cornstalk?
Biff: Corny. (is the only one laughing - self-conscious, he stops)
Jim: Let's get right to the point Biff, What will happen when you die?
Biff: I'm instant worm food Jim.
Jim: Worm food?
Biff: Sure, I ain't goin' nowhere but six feet under. Seems purty simple to me.
Jim: Did you come by this belief naturally?
Biff: Let me ask you somethin' Jim, You ever seen dead people runnin' around a cemetery?
Jim: Good point Biff. When we come back, we'll talk with Skylight Twinkle Hair, a noted pioneer in the Bad Moon Rising organization out of Oregon (or you name the location) - stay tuned.... (Music out)
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Jim: Many people wonder what will happen to them when they die. Our next guest has some unique insight. She is the author of "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on My Left Handed Aura". Ladies and gentlemen Let's welcome Skylight Twinkle Hair to the Jim Milner Show.
Skylight: It's like - a pleasure to be here. Have I been here before?
Jim: Maybe in another life.
Skylight: (serious) That must be it.
Jim: OK. Well, We'd like to get a definitive answer to the question, what happens when a person dies. How would you respond to that Skylight?
Skylight: Well, actually that is an easy question to answer Jim, you see the planets move in a unique pattern and because of their unique orbital symmetry it is possible for a house to be in a rising sun.
Jim: At least once in a blue moon (chuckles - Skylight glares at him) - sorry, go ahead.
Skylight: The position of the planets interact with persons karma to determine what animal, insect or fish you will be reincarnated as.
Jim: So, you're saying that a person never really dies.
Skylight: That's right Jim, our bodies are just suitcases for our souls and every now and again you need to replace the suitcase.
Biff: Are you tryin' to tell us that you're a human now but when you die you might come back as a cockroach. (A look of disbelief on his face)
Skylight: At least YOU understand.
Jim: To the crowd, just when I thought it couldn't get any stranger I open dialogue with a skylight (laughter). When we come back Wayne Allen joins us on the Jim Milner show. (Music out)
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Jim: Welcome back to the Jim Milner Show, we've heard from two very differing views on what happens the moment you die. We would like to welcome Wayne Allen to the stage (Clapping). Wayne, tell us a little bit about you.
Wayne: Well, I've been happily married for the last fifteen years and I have two of the most wonderful kids on earth. Wanna see their pictures (reaching for his wallet)
Jim: Maybe later, Wayne. As you know we have been talking about the subject of death. Are you ever afraid about dying?
Wayne: Well, no! (Crowd murmurs)
Jim: You mean you're not concerned about dying?
Wayne: Oh, I don't want to die, if that's what you mean. I'm certainly not trying to die.
Jim: So, what exactly do you mean Wayne?
Wayne: Well, I agree with Skylight that life doesn't just end when we die.
Skylight: Thank you Wayne.
Wayne: But, I can guarantee you I'm not staying here and I will never be a cockroach. You see the God of the universe has adopted me as His son because I accepted the love gift made available by His Son.
Jim: What exactly are you saying, Wayne?
Wayne: God's Son, Jesus Christ paid the penalty for my every sin by laying down His life on the cross, then He did a miraculous thing - He didn't stay dead.
Biff: I don't believe in Jesus!
Wayne: Do you believe in sin?
Biff: What do you mean?
Wayne: You know, sin, murders, stealing...
Biff: (Uncertain) I guess so.
Wayne: Let me ask you a question, Biff. Have you ever lusted. (Biff highly uncomfortable). Then you've sinned. (Turns to Skylight) Have you ever told a lie?
Skylight: Maybe a fib or a white lie.
Wayne: God's Word says you're a liar. (Turns to Jim) Have you ever wanted something your neighbor owns?
Jim: Well they do have a new speed boat.
Wayne: God's Word says you are coveting and that's against God's Law.
Jim: What? So we're condemned by a God we don't believe in?
Wayne: It's a shame you feel that way, Jim, because God loves you very much. He loves you too Skylight, Biff and the rest of you (pointing to the crowd). If He didn't love you He never would have died for you so that all that sin in your life could be forgiven.
Jim: You're saying that Jesus died for me?
Wayne: That's right, Jim and then the Bible tells us that He went to Heaven to build some houses for us to live in after we die.
Skylight: So what happens if I don't believe? Will a flash of lightning stike me? (Making fun of Wayne).
Wayne: No, but when you refuse to believe and accept His love gift then He has no option but to let you have your own way.
Biff: What do you mean?
Wayne: If you refuse to accept the birth, work, death and resurrection of Jesus, then you have decided you don't really want to be with Jesus after death, so He let's you have your way and you will forever be separated from Him. You will also forfeit any chance to live in the beauty of a heaven He created for any who would believe that He is who He said He is.
Jim: And just who is that Wayne?
Wayne: Like I've been trying to say, Jesus is God's Son.
Jim: Look at the time, another show in the book's folks. Next time - Sewer Maintenance Employees and the Dogs Who Love Them, right here on the Jim Milner Show. (Music Out)
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