Brother Baloney
Wants more money
He preaches scary lies
You’d better give more
Or you’ll anger the Lord
God says your tithe is mine.
Come join us up front
It’s been a whole month
Since we’ve had a check from you
If you want to go further
And be a good learner
You’ll pay the LORD what’s due.
Tithe on the gross
To the Lord of Hosts
So we can go have fun
Fruits of your labor
We want to savor
After your work is done.
If you’re on the dole
Or you’re down in a hole
God’s law remains the same
You better pay up
Or your judge will get tough
When you stand before him in shame.
Postpone your bills
Cut down on your pills
This church has got to come first
We need velvet pews
To seat your caboose
While we teach YOU the Word.
Give till it hurts
Pay what we’re worth
You know there’s no free lunch
Christ fed five thousand
Who never repaid Him
Don’t be a stingy bunch.
Paul didn’t take tithes
But tithing’s IMPLIED
If you’ll research the text
Quit being selfish
Or you’ll never get wealthy
You owe the LORD a big debt!
GOD needs a new car
It’s been a whole year
The LORD makes all things new
You’ll get YOURS in heaven
If you keep on believin’
He’ll raise you up from that pew.
GOD needs a new suit
The old one won’t do
It’s shrunk too much in the waist
Too much fried chicken
Too much heavy liftin’
Of cash from offering plates.
GOD needs a gold watch
Though it costs a lot
He needs to know the time
But if things get rough
Don’t seek help from us
We won’t give you a dime!
GOD needs marble fountains
To help Him move mountains
Precious paintings inspire
If you pay your tithe
And pay it on time
He’ll grant your deepest desires.
We’re His priestly servants
Who preach HIS sermons
And take your money for Him
In His name we threaten
Eternal judgments
If you don’t pay ten per cent.
You pay us to pray
And preach on God’s grace
And share the good Gospel news
The Old Law’s fulfilled
Except your tithe bill
Every Sunday it’s due.
You’re set free from sin
You’ve entered in
Your SPIRITUAL debts are paid
The work of Christ’s Cross
Won’t cost us a loss
Of tithes you owe US today.
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http://kingdomage.tripod.com
http://banpreachergreed.tripod.com
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