“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” Proverbs 29:11
How many times have you flared up in anger and spoken before thinking? Or received a phone call that made your blood boil and you let loose? Or lost it with your spouse and the kids? For me, I’m sorry to say it’s so often only God can keep count, and thank Him that He isn’t!
I don’t mean to — honestly — I want to keep my cool, but then the kids disobey a direct order, or my spouse comes and immediately starts talking while I’m in the middle of something, or I get a rude email from some disgruntled person, and I know just what to say and how to say it so I can be cutting and mean. Before I know it my face is red and the volume is turned all the way to high, with no way to turn it down.
Scripture says the fool gives vent to his anger. Hold on, I have a College Degree — I’m nobody’s fool! But am I truly being wise when I let the situation, and my emotions run away with me? There’s a time to be angry, the Bible speaks very succinctly on that, but this verse refers to times where you let your feelings run roughshod over everybody, regardless of how they feel.
Admit it, there is a release that comes when you yell, there is satisfaction in thinking you outwitted, out-yelled and out-gunned some poor person, especially those nearest and dearest to you. But how long does that satisfaction last? Before too long, the reality of what was said comes back to haunt you.
There is hope, take it from one who regularly lost it with just about everyone!
Cultivate the art of listening, and I’m not talking hearing, but really listening to what the other person has to say. My kids sometimes have good reasons for not immediately doing what I ask. By listening, I don’t only diffuse a situation that could escalate, I also become a “safe” person; one they won’t be fearful to talk to in the future.
Think about what you’re going to say. There are occasions I must look like a goldfish as my mouth opens, shuts and opens again many times before I actually say something! But that’s all right — I would rather look like a gasping goldfish than sound like a screaming banshee!
Thinking before I speak is not always easy, and not something I’ve yet mastered, but I’m willing to learn. And that’s the key, the willingness to change and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me and lead me into truth and wisdom. I make a conscious choice to hand the situation over to Him and allow Him to guide me.
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Cori,
You definitely aint no fool! Very wise words - something we can ALL relate to (even Deb, who has proven herself to be Miss Calm and Collected - LOL) Thanks for posting. Love, Lynda
P.S. I loved the visual of a gasping goldfish :-)
Ah Cori ... maybe it's that red hair perhaps? Actually, I don't flare up very often at all - but when I do, it's time to duck and cover. Good wisdom in your very honest article Cori - but then, I wouldn't expect anything else. Love, Deb
Well - you could be talking about me. Sometimes rage takes over and leaves me feeling spent and miserable. Now, to gasp like a goldfish. I'll try to remember that.
