“Hi, I’m calling about the results of my test.”
“Ah, Miss Lennon. It came back positive. You are indeed pregnant.”
I gripped the phone in sheer panic and disbelief. I was using birth control for heaven’s sake; this wasn’t meant to happen!
“Are you sure?” I quizzed the doctor.
“Perfectly sure. Why? Is there a problem?”
“No, no problem.” What was I saying? Of course there was a problem! This was only the end of my life!
I put the phone down and sat back in my seat, head between my hands, and rubbed my eyes and temples.
This was a nightmare! Perhaps I would wake up and find out none of this was real! But I knew it was. I was throwing up night and day, and was sore all over. I was missing an inordinate amount of my college classes because every time I stood up, I threw up!
My thoughts were like a maelstrom in my head. “I can’t have an abortion, it’s against my beliefs, and it’s illegal here anyway. I know — I’ll give the baby up for adoption! But wait, what if the baby turns out like that really messed-up woman at church? She was adopted and she carried around so much hurt and rejection, it was pitiful.
Perhaps I could choose a family for my child, and make sure it is loved. But, there are no guarantees, what if the child ends up like that lady? Man oh man; I’m a college student! I have to finish this year up and I have another year ahead of me. How the heck am I meant to look after a baby, let alone provide financially?”
Oh God, I was in a pickle, no getting around it! The father and I had split up. I had returned to my church, repentant for my behavior, only now to discover I’m expecting! I bowed my head in the first of many prayers I was to pray over the next few months and years.
“Lord God, I came to you and asked for forgiveness, and I know I have received it. But now I come to you with this problem. I don’t know what the best course of action is. I want to do what is best for this unborn child. I don’t want to be selfish. Being selfish is what got me in this predicament in the first place!”
As I continued in prayer, I was flooded with a sensation of peace. With that peace came both strength and resolve. I knew my answer — I was to keep my child, no matter what! I could work a second job, and save money. I could take some extra classes now, so that when the baby came I had a lighter class load. I could, with the help of God, make it work!
With that resolution in mind, I slowly stood up from the phone, waited for the nausea to subside and walked across campus to talk to my class counselor.
Side Note: I had already submitted a story for the “Resolutions” contest, but wanted to post this one as well.
Just another side note: in South Africa abortion was illegal until a couple of years ago. Also, pregnancy tests were unheard of, and you had to go to the doctor to do a blood test.