'I've Done Nothing Wrong' and Other Famous Last Words
by James Snyder
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The only thing you can believe when a politician speaks is that you can't believe what a politician says. How else can they be elected to an office in our country? Every one of them promises the moon and then once elected they moon the public. I guess we always get what we ask for.
This latest is simply an addition to those famous last words that have gone on before. Let me list several of them.
"I'm not a crook."
"I did not have sex with that woman."
And now the latest, "I've done nothing wrong."
History has proven the first two false and I am not betting the third one is true.
You would think that by this time a person, whether a politician or a normal person, makes any kind of public statement that it would have some grain of truth in it somewhere. And, perchance, if a politician is saying something of significant you can be sure somebody else wrote the speech for him. We live in a day and age where people say anything to get what they want.
The other side of this is that many people are willing to hear anything to get what they think they are being offered.
I suppose there is an appropriate time to lie, but I've never really figured it out completely.
I do know, as every husband knows, that there are appropriate times to lie to your wife. In fact, if the truth were known, every wife expects her husband to lie about certain things.
For example, when the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has purchased a new dress, tries it on and asked me a simple question, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
If there ever was a time to abandon all truth, it is when your life is in such dire straits.
If I say "yes," life as I once enjoyed it will become a fond memory.
If I say "no," then I am in for the grilling of my life.
"Then," she will say with a threatening tone in her voice, "you think the dress I wore yesterday made me look fat."
A husband does not know how his wife can leap from one area to another area in a single bound without ever wearing a cape, which would make her look fat.
Then, if I say, "No, that dress yesterday did not make you look fat,” it only makes it worse.
Any husband who thinks he is off the hook at this point has only been married three days and has yet to come back from his honeymoon. Because at this point the Mrs. will go through her entire wardrobe trying to find out which dress you think makes her look fat. She is convinced you think she has a dress that makes her look fat.
Another area where prevarication might seem appropriate is in the kitchen. I go by one simple rule in life, never offend the person who makes your meals or you just may sit down to your last supper.
My wife will watch Martha Stewart on TV and get an idea about a new culinary dish and nothing will do until she tries this dish out on Yours Truly. As a husband, I take what she dishes out.
I fondly remember when we were first married my wife treated me like a god. She offered me burnt sacrifices three times a day. Once, I thought she was serving me meatloaf three days in a row. Little did I know the third day was a casserole.
Therefore, when my wife comes up with some new dish that she has labored over all day long and kindly asks my opinion of it, it is my solemn obligation to fib. It does not matter if the first bite destroys all the taste buds in my mouth or if it takes several attempts to keep it down, my obligation is to love it and tell her so.
Of course, there is another area where stretching the truth is highly recommended. This has to do with birthdays, but particularly the year of birth. My wife wants me to be truthful and exact when it comes to the day of her birthday but she is not quite as stringent when it comes to the year of her birth.
It is the one day of the year where lying is quite appropriate. My wife expects me to say on her birthday, "My, you sure don't look a year older. In fact, he looked as young as the day we were married."
I do not believe that and neither does she, but those will remain my famous last words, which is the only time a husband can have the last word.
One area where the truth is absolutely imperative is in our relationship with God. As husbands and wives, we joke around and many things we do not take seriously. But with God, we must be serious.
The Bible instructs us, "And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another." (Ephesians 4:23-25 KJV).
Someone once said, “What a web we weave when we practice to deceive.” This is one area where practice does not make perfect.
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Ah ha! A brother I can relate to...just don't tell my wife about this article, she needs to continue to believe she has me figured out. I liked this and the much needed smile it offered me.