Men and women in churches all around the country are wondering how to save their Christian marriage and they are wondering that in record numbers! Unfortunately, the divorce among Christians has finally surpassed the rate of their non-believing counterparts. A staggering thought when you consider the light we should be to a troubled world.
Part of the frustration of the whole matter is that, again just like our worldly brothers and sisters, is that we too would rather just take the old easy way out of a very difficult situation. Our marriage oaths end up on trash heaps as phrase such as "through sickness and death, for better or for worse" take on no more weight than a child that ends up saying "I was only kidding!"
Marriage is a challenge, absolutely! But, it was designed to be that way. Iron must sharpen iron. When two people from two different social backgrounds, economic backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, religious backgrounds, political backgrounds and even regional backgrounds try to make a life long commitment to each other issues are bound to hit loggerheads. It's inevitable and can create real roadblocks as you try to save your Christian marriage.
If you've ever tried to argue with your spouse over and over trying to get them to see your point while they're doing them same thing you can get my drift. Or, when you find yourself beginning to manipulate situations to get YOUR way then you know you've ventured into the murky waters described above.
The good news (besides the gospel itself) is that marriage was designed by the Master Himself knowing full well the effort it would take to make it work. So, He has a vested interest in the outcome. Not to mention the fact that marriage typifies the church and He needs to have that reflected to a lost world. Yes, He has a very large stake here.
That makes prayer priority number one! And not the sloppy 15 second "Just change him!" type of prayer. It needs to be focused on allowing for change in both parties if necessary. Permanent, lifelong changes that will alter your marriage and make it look like the kind that God wants it to be. If you really want to save your Christian marriage and create something stable, intimate, loving and respecting you must be ready for what prayer will bring your way.
Counseling is another large piece of the puzzle, but, please BEWARE that not all counselors are helpful! And not all counseling is GOOD counseling. There are types of counseling that will absolutely wreck your marriage for good because it's done from the wrong perspective.
Much can be done on your own if you're willing to put in the time. There exists a huge number of resources that are available at most Christian bookstores nowadays. Make sure you use only those resources that come from reputable authors that have been around for a while and know what they're talking about. Not someone that's just graduated from the youth ministry. Moody Press is one of the best resources in this area.
Saving your Christian marriage really isn't an option. The only options are how to go about it and how much effort to put into it. If you've been praying for a while now, then it's time to take the next step and get armed with resources that will guide you to a marriage that will last.
Ray Dudley loves to write and puts pen to paper on a wide variety of topics. Please know that there ARE resources and help that actually work. For more information on saving your Christian marriage Click Here: http://together4-life.blogspot.com/
It takes a changed heart to save a marriage, or restore the "divorced". I used to believe all those things you mentioned...and I still do, but disobedience and outright rebellion just from one spouse is the ax that comes down hard on Christian marriages resulting in divorce. Check my book out to know how to stand for your Christian marriage when one is divorced or headed in that unwanted direction. Many divorced Christians never wanted to be divorced.
Just my thoughts for whatever they are worth. In my years of experience and observation the main reason marriages fail (christian or otherwise) is simply selfishness. The me, me, me....Some say it is money, but I think even that comes back to selfishness....I have heard some wives or husbands say, "my money"..."your money"... In marriage it is "OUR" money. You can read and benefit from many help books, but until a person ask God to change their heart, make "me" more loveable and show "me" what I need to change, there will be more than the usual problems. Husbands are to love their wives as Jesus loves the Church. Women are to reverence and respect their husbands. Forgive me for going on and on...Guess I should have written an article rather than commenting....I may just do that. Thanks for the article anyway. GOD BLESS YOU