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Sometimes The Hard-Way’s The Only Way
by Lisa Velez
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December 8, 2003
By: Lisa Velez

“Sometimes The Hard-Way’s The Only Way”

God is so amazing. He knows what we need just when we need it. Just a few days ago, on this past Saturday, December 6, 2003, on my husband’s birthday of all days, God answered one of my biggest prayers in a big way.

Friday night, December 5th, began what was to be our East Coast’s first snowstorm of the season. It wasn’t even winter yet, and here came the snowflakes and frigid temperatures! And every channel on television, as always had it’s own version of how much snow, when, where and why we would be getting it. Talk about confusion! One doesn’t know whether to take out the snow boots or get out spring fashions these days. It’s fifty degrees one day and then snowing like crazy the next. No wonder almost everyone around is getting sick.

Anyway, my husband, Ramon has been a DJ since he was 17. He’s always loved it, but lately has been getting tired of the secular scene, with all the bad lyrics, drinking and sexual misconduct, to name of few. So, we opened up our own Christian DJ business called, “Praise Him Entertainment ®.” Nevertheless, Ramon still had a few leftover parties with the secular DJ business he has been working for, for the last five years or so. And, on Saturday of all days, with blizzard warnings in the forecast and all, he had one of those parties.

It had started to snow again, and this time, it was falling at an average of about one to two inches an hour, nothing to play around with, that’s for sure. As I have done numerous times in the past without success, because my husband has always been the stone-cold stubborn type, I tried to warn him, with tears streaming down my face, to stay home and call Andy, the owner of the DJ Company to tell him that he wasn’t going to be coming in. Especially because my husband and I live in Oak Ridge, NJ, close to the mountains, the weather would be especially unkind.

Ramon, after a few minutes agreed to call Andy. Andy told him that no cancellation for the party he was to work had come through and that to make sure, he should call the lady who was giving the party and speak to her directly. Well, Ramon did just that and the lady was nothing but rude and snooty with him. She told my husband with an attitude, as if she was a child having an angry tantrum, “I can’t reschedule for another day! I still wanna have my party!” After countless other nasty remarks this lady gave to my husband, he hung up with her so angry and hurt and decided to go and do the party anyway just to get her off his back. He told me that he didn’t want his birthday to be ruined either by someone having an attitude with him on the phone. I rarely see Ramon that angry, but this was one of those times when I think I felt the floor move beneath my feet.

Again, I pleaded, I raised my voice, I cried, and said to him in a nervous, loud voice, “If this lady wants to be stupid, let her be stupid all by herself!” But no matter what I said, Ramon shouted back at me that he was going to do the party anyway. Once Ramon makes up his mind, it will take a literal “wake up call” to change his mind. He needed to learn his lesson the hard way.

After a few minutes passed, my husband asked me if I would like to go with him. Then he began wanting to change his mind for even asking me because he claimed I would give him an “attitude” the whole way to the show. Yet, I told him I would go. I even told him that I would want to go because if something did happen to him it would happen to us together. I wanted my husband to know just how much I love him; only he took it as an insult.

So, as I sat on my bed finding clothes to wear to this silly affair, I cried out again, only in a quiet voice, so Ramon wouldn’t hear me, to God. He was the only one, who could help this situation, the kind of which had been going on for years.

I prayed for God to somehow teach him a lesson “The Hard Way,” but not by any means of a fatality. I was so desperate. I’ve never known a more stubborn man in my entire life! Yet, I love him so much, and I wanted him to understand that I would give my life for him and stick by him no matter what came our way.

Well, Ramon and I got in to his beautiful, 2000 Pontiac Grand-Prix, for our slow-but sure ride to this party at a Firehouse somewhere in Northvale, I believe. The snow was coming down with windy gusts and large amounts, just as most of the channels that afternoon had said. Our blizzard was packing a wallop all over us and it was a scary thing to even think about.

For some reason, I felt sleepy in the car, I guess because the ride seemed like it was taking forever. I was just about asleep, when all of a sudden, I felt a hard hit on the back of our car. My husband then lost control of the car as we were thrown in to a complete 360-degree turn, finally ending up crashing in to the concrete divide on Route 287 N! As it turned out, what had hit us was a big, green and white 18 wheeler truck who was going way too fast on a totally snow covered road during a blizzard! He tried to move out of the way to avoid another car, and instead, he smacked his truck right in to us! My husband was so angry that the power of adrenaline at that moment could have sky rocketed him to the moon and back!

Thankfully, something, which one doesn’t see very often happened. A few people actually stopped to make sure we were all right. There was this young man, who’s name I can’t recall, even got out of his car to smell our gas tank, since the truck had made it’s impact a few centimeters or less right before it. My husband and I realized at that moment that if we had both been in my car, my little 1994 Saturn, we might have not lived to see another day, as the car would have blown up in flames. We praised God that the truck didn’t puncture the fuel line on my husband’s car. With that fact being known, I was at least able to stay in the car, turning it on and off for periodical heat to stay warm, until the police arrived. It was so cold! I thought to myself, “Boy if I’m this cold now, imagine if I lived at a time like the 1800’s where there were only fireplaces and no heaters to keep us warm like we have now. I might have gone crazy!” When the police officer did arrive in his mini van, he was more than gracious. He even let me stay in his van to keep warm while he spoke with my husband, which I thought was cool since I wasn’t being arrested. Of course, I find humor even in the most dangerous of circumstances. Well, that’s actually a good thing to do, besides praying to keep us from totally loosing it.

The tow truck soon arrived, and agreed to take us home, since we didn’t live that far. We thanked God on the way home because Ramon and I had gotten away with our lives! The truck had hit our car on the back, driver’s side, and Ramon still came out without a scratch! I as well, came out of it with all my hairs on my head still intact. The only things that bothered me were the lower right side of my back and the right side gland in my neck, which was swollen and aching because the seatbelt had tightened up during the accident. Nothing the “Great Physician” couldn’t fix!

Well, Ramon kept telling me that afternoon, in to the evening that he wished he had listened to me. He wished he had stayed home. He told me that he wanted to cry, but didn’t since I think he was just in shock of the whole thing. Who wouldn’t be? He apologized to me over and over. I had already forgiven Ramon, though because I knew by the look on his face, that he was really sorry for not trusting his wife more.

I remember being not only hurt that Ramon didn’t take my advice, but also very angry that he was so hardheaded and naďve enough to put his own life in danger. The anger and hurt that I had within my heart all faded away at the moment we hit the concrete divider on the highway. God had answered my prayer. Someone said to me yesterday that, “God was probably tired of bailing him out of every mess that Ramon had gotten himself in to, and that God felt it was time for Ramon to learn the hard way.”, which he did indeed!

Today, December 8, 2003, our car was picked up by the towing company to be brought in for it’s “healing.” My back is a little stiff, but no more than usual. However, the gland in my neck is still swollen and sore and other parts of my neck are now hurting, so Ramon and I will go check it out at the hospital near our home later. My husband still feels so bad about what happened, but I told him that the anger he feels for himself over this accident would soon turn to strength. He and I as well have learned valuable lessons from what happened Saturday. Ramon learned that nothing and no one are more important than his life. He even called the owner of the secular DJ Company and told him that for his remaining parties, if we have anymore-bad weather like that day, “No more” was he going to do it! Ramon also learned to trust his wife more. And that even though she (myself) may seem like the world’s biggest nag, her tears are from the heart because she loves him with a love he could never comprehend; in this lifetime anyway. I learned that, if God could teach Ramon the hard way about protecting his own life, that God would do the same for me, and has been starting too. Since my doctor is still not too sure that I’m a Borderline Diabetic because of the Polycystic Ovarian Disorder that I have, I have had to be careful in what I eat because in diabetics and women with P.O.D., one’s insulin goes high. Yet, for the last year, or year and a half, I’ve ignored my health and the risks and have just eaten the way I’ve wanted to. Well, the other day, after eating and drinking bucket loads of sugar, I went to get gas. As I sat in my car, I got incredibly lightheaded and somewhat dizzy. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be okay to drive home. Thank God that the dizziness stopped in a few seconds and I was able to get home safe and soundly. I know that God was warning me that if I don’t wise up and loose the weight I have to loose, I’m going to have to learn “The Hard Way” too, and that with my health at risk, it could turn out to be fatal. I didn’t want that to happen. So, I went back on the Carb-Counting Diet that my Diabetic nurse had put me on almost two years ago. She helped me so much, Praise God that I even wound up loosing about 46lbs. Once I stopped going to her, I literally stopped taking care of myself and I gained most of it back, shy about ten pounds.

I believe that Ramon and I learned just how precious life is over this past week and weekend. Our bodies are the temples of the Lord and we must do everything that we can to preserve and take care of them. That fact didn’t sink in until these past couple of days; a couple of days that I thank God whole-heartedly for.

Sometimes blessings come in the form of beautiful wrapped boxes tied with colorful ribbon, or a hug from a family member or friend. Yet, other times we find our blessings in the hardest places where it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel from the tears. But, as God had promised many years ago, He is with us always through good times and bad and He gives us strength to carry on. He wants us to know that, even in the midst of the storm, He will send a rainbow of light to shine through our darkness, to carry us through to the joy ahead. Even though at times all we see are tears and rainstorms, there is always Hope.

I can surely tell you, that this will be a December that my husband Ramon, and I will never ever forget.

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