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If ya see somethin flyin in the air with long curly hair, duck
by Julie Michaelson
12/22/08
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And the fifth angel
blew his trumpet....
and the sun and the air
were darkened with ...smoke
...from the smoke
came locusts on the earth,
and they were given power....
they were told
not to harm the grass...
but only those of mankind
who have not the
seal of God
upon their
foreheads.....
they were allowed
to torture them
for five months
but not to
kill them....
[Revelation 9:1-5]
_________________________________
"I've been reading that
left behind book, Lord:
'Appoyllon'? I'm too
lazy to check the spelling."

[NOD.]

"It's pretty good;
but, I just had a question
to ask."

[NOD.]

"Is it TRUE, those LOCUSTS
are gonna have long, curly HAIR?"

[SILENCE.]

(Hopeful silence.)
(Chew on some macaroni
and cheese.)

"WELL?"

[SILENCE.]

"Cuz, I think that's
really DISGUSTING."

[CHUCKLE.]

"ECH!"

[SILENCE.]

(Long silence.)
(Sigh.)
"I wish I had somethin'
really nice to write about
CHRISTMAS, Lord."
(Gaze into macaroni bowl.)
"But.....I don't."

"I know, child."

"You don't seem
to C...A...R....E."

[PATIENT GAZE.]

(Shrug.)
"Big deal;
it's just another day."

[SILENCE.]

"Heck, I got the day
off; but, I don't even
get PAID for it.....
so what ELSE is NEW?"

[SILENCE.]

"I'd RATHER be
WORKIN'."

[NOD.]

(Sigh.)
"Plus, on Christmas Day,
my GARBAGE isn't even
bein' picked UP!"

[NOD.]

"YIKES!"

[SILENCE.]

"If I were a garbage guy,
I'd say, 'Well, if you'll
pay me time and a half,
I'll WORK!"

"Some feel differently
about Christmas,
than you do,
My beloved."

"Yeah.
I guess so."

[SILENCE.]

(Silence.)

"You can't blame me,
Lord."
(Glance up at ceiling.)
"I wasn't brought UP,
with it."

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Yes, child."
[SILENCE.]
"But, you know
now."

(Shrug.)
"SORTA."

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I guess."
(Frown.)
"I just don't see any
EVIDENCE of Christ,
in THIS day and age."

[SILENCE.]

"So, maybe.......like,
Ya know: He was
around, back then,
but not any LONGER."

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Well.....Ya gotta admit;
there aren't any MIRACLES,
anymore!"

"Ah.
I see."

"Yeah."
(Munch on a chocolate cupcake.)
You shouldn't be embarrassed
about it, Lord."
(Look up at ceiling.)
(Drop a chocolate crumb on the
floor.)
"All of us go through stuff
like that; it's like,
I can't dance,
anymore. Or,
eat pepperoni pizza."

[PATIENT NOD.]

"It's no big deal;
it's just.......Ya know:
somethin' I used to
do.....and,
now, I don't."

[NOD.]

"No big deal."

[NOD.]

"Ya just gotta get used
to it."

[NOD.]
"I see,
My child."

(Munch.)
"Ya know; like,
back THEN,
You could......
make the whole Red Sea
STOP!"

[SMILE!]
"Go on,
My beloved."

(Peer impatiently up at ceiling.)
"WELL?
So.....now, Ya CAN'T!"

"Ah."
[SMILE.]
"I see."

"So WHAT?"
(Shrug.)
(Lift puny shoulders, once more.)
"Don't WORRY about it!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"Hey, and if anybody
bugs Ya about it,
just tell 'em,
it ain't NONE a'
their BEESWAX!"

[NOD.]
[CHUCKLE.]

"That's what we used
to say, back in Philly, when
I was a kid."

"I understand,
My child."

"It's ain't none a'
y'ur BEESWAX!"

[SOLEMN NOD.]

(Nod.)
(Sip some Walmart orange soda.)

"Child?"

"Yeah?"
(Sip.)
(Look curiously up at ceiling.)
(Screechy, whiny voice.)
WHAT?"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Do you know
Who I AM?"

(Shrug.)
"Yeah;
the One Who's gonna
make all those LOCUSTS
with the long, curly....
HAIR!"

[SIGH.]

"Are You SAVIN'
UP......"
(Rub itchy nose.)
"...like, the last bit'a
Your STRENGTH,
for that Last DAY,
LORD?"

[CALMLY STERN VOICE.]
"In a way,
My precious."

(Glance, surreptiously,
up at ceiling.)
(Wonder how to spell
surrepticiously.)
(Shrug.)
"That's good;
I mean, that Y'ur
saving up all Your
strength, and all."
(Nod.)

[COUNT TO TEN.]

(Shrug.)
(Frown.)
"So....what happened
to that poor DOG, I
saw outside the other
NIGHT, LORD?"
(Sarcastic grimmace.)
"Did he DIE,
somewhere?"

[SILENCE.]

"See what I MEAN?
If JESUS were around,
He definitely would'a
HELPED him!"

"But, He did,
My child."

"YEAH?
HOW?"

"Some things
you can't see,
My precious."

(Snort.)
"That's for darn sure."

[LONG PAUSE.]
[GAZE UPON SCRUFFY
HEAD OF CYNICAL CHILD.]
"That is what faith
is all about,
My beloved."

(Sarcastic roll of the eyes*.)
"Yeah;
whatever."

[SILENCE.]

(Shrug.)
"I'm sorry, Lord.
I just don't see Ya,
anywhere.....these
days."

"I know,
My beloved."

"Well."
(Long sigh.)
"I gotta go take
some laundry out."
(Get up from old,
kitchen chair; the
one with the hot-glued
vinyl seat cover, and
the sundry sratches
on the cheap wooden arms.)
"Talk to Ya,
later."

[SORROWFUL GLANCE.]
[NOD.]
[TENDER VOICE.]
"I'll be Here,
My beloved."
***************************
In appearance
the locusts
were like horses....
their faces
were like human faces,
their hair like women's hair,
and their teeth like lions'...
they had scales like iron
breastplates,
and the noise of their wings
....like ...many chariots
....rushing into battle.
They have tails
like scorpians....
they have as king over them
the angel
of the bottomless pit;
his name in Hebrew
is Abaddon,
and in Greek
he is called Apollyon.
[Revelation 9:7-11]
__________________________
*Author isn't sure if
rolling the eyes is a
universal human gesture
of sarcasm...or, just
something from
Northwest Philadelphia.










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