Do you truly know what it is like to not be forgiven? And I do not mean forgiven by those who witnessed my ill deed. All witnesses have long since died. I am talking about not being forgiven by God. That is right. God has not forgiven me. Instead, God has punished me every single day of my life since I did the unspeakable. Prior to this, I really was not even certain Jesus was who he claimed to be. However, I do know for certain beyond any doubt now that God does exist, and that Jesus is the Son of God.
You see I struck Jesus down with my own hand. How could I have done this you may ask? Jesus walked the Earth some 2000 years ago. Well you see, so did I. Jesus and I both walked this Earth together. I was the Roman soldier assigned to guard Jesus in the days just before his Crucifixion. My name is Cartaphilus, and because I struck Jesus down, I have been cursed to live forever, or at least until the second coming of Christ. So now, I live here among you, never aging, and outliving everyone I know or will come to know. Only Christ returning will release me from my cursed life.
Over the centuries I have served in many armies, and fought in many wars, and so witnessed devastating carnage and destruction. Some say that I enjoyed it, but that is not true. Being a soldier in the Roman army, it is all I knew. Over the centuries I have married many times, and fathered many children, only to see them all die before me. So now I live alone. The pain is too great to love again, even though it is said I feel nothing of the such. So, now I walk this Earth alone waiting for my time to come.
The story goes I have yet to accept my destiny. It is said I am bent on doing what ever it takes to hasten Armagheddon, and that I am in league with the side of evil, but that is so wrong. After centuries of living I have come to accept the curse placed upon me, and therefore I full heartedly believe in the second coming of Christ as well. Upon the return of Jesus, I will be ascending to heaven with all of the other believers. This curse has made me a believer. So you see, when that day comes, my curse will no longer be a curse. It will be a blessing! Jesus and I will walk together again, only this time in heaven.
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