For one who is seeking the face of God in marriage partner, attitude is everything. The period of waiting can be burdensome, or otherwise depending on your attitude. It is never the length of time one has to wait nor the age of the seeker that is the problem, as some think. The problem is always that of the attitude of the seeker. One with a wrong attitude will see the period of waiting as too long. This can lead to taking wrong decisions. Such singles usually live in frustration, focusing on nothing else than marriage. While single, you can live a totally fulfilling life when your life is filled with Jesus Christ. Therefore “… seek ye first the kingdom of God , and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).
A wrong attitude manifest in impatience, self-management and carnality. These, in turn, lead to grievous sins and compromise. Wrong attitude has made many to derail, go into immorality or unscriptural marriages. They usually end up making shipwreck of their lives and Christian faith.
A right attitude, on the other side, triumphs during the period of waiting and eventually testifies to the faithfulness of God. One with a right attitude knows assuredly that all things work together for good to them that love God. She then wait for God to lead her to the right partner at God’s own time. The period of waiting for God’s choice should be a period of:
(1) Prayer: Ask God to work in you His good will and help you conform to the image of Christ Jesus, then will He gives you wisdom and discernment in making a decision. Develop a payer rooting that you can follow
Daily until the answer comes (Matthew 7:7-11). Get rid of idol in your heart. Avoid telling your prayer partner the name of the person God has revealed to you. Avoid these wrong methods of knowing the will of God marriage – prophecies from others, friendly suggestions (1Chronicles 7:1-4; 1Kings 13; 22:5-37), choosing by sight (1Samuel 16:6-7), just taking someone by faith, dating, putting on fleece and casting of lots (Acts1:14-26).
(2) Patience: To run ahead of God is to invite trouble to yourself (Hebrews 10:35-36; Psalm 37:7-8; Ecclesiastes 7:8) To choose to wait for God’s time is to avoid the life of regret and unnecessary sad stories. Learn to trust in God, resting upon His unfailing promises. The more you trust in Him the less you will worry.
(3) Peace: Callous remarks and taunting from friends and relations can bring a ranging storms of anxiety and fretting to the heart. This must not be allowed. Read John14:27 and 16:33. The right response to every taunt is to stay your heart on God, to rest in Him (Isaiah 26:3). Be not overcome by the feelings of loneliness, but turn it into a beautiful, fruitful, and fulfilling time with God. Reach out to others (Matthew 28:18-20). Be yourself, do not go with a crowd, stand out.
(4) Preparation: Do not enter into marriage relationship until you are spiritually. Emotionally, psychologically and financially matured to get married. Learn useful homemaking skills. Be gainfully employed. Embark on self-improvement training programmes. Listen to good Christian messages and read helpful books.
Become so valuable that your work will be a point of reference in your organization, that is cultivate a spirit of excellence in everything you do Look for someone who has achieved extra-ordinary in her business/career, or whose marriage you admire, and ask her to mentor you.. Read the Bible to know the sovereign plan of God for your life (Isaiah 40 and 50; Jeremiah 29:11). Time is your greatest asset; do not waste it. Set your priorities. Get organized with the aid of diaries, organizers, time table etc. Plan your work and work your plan. As a man, get a controllable accommodation and equip it with appropriate household appliances.
(5) Purity: Every temptation to go into sin of fornication must be resisted. Purity and chastity of conduct will make you to command your future husband’s respect and regard, so that like Boaz, he can say unto you, “…Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: inasmuch as thou followest not young men, whether poor or rich … I will do thee that all thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman” (Ruth 3:10-11). Avoid undue familiarity, visits and cuttings alone with the opposite sex (Hebrews 13:4) Do not misinterpret the attention of the opposite sex, neither be thou jealous or envious of your married or engaged friends. Keep your body clean. Eat well and stay healthy.
Dress well and look good, but not for attraction.
Once you have received a definite answer from God, get in contact with your marriage committee or men/women of God in-charge to direct you in the step to take.
WARNING: Never give your consent to unbeliever, whether in the church or outside the church. “Be ye not unequally yoke together with unbelievers ...”(2Corinthians 6:14-16; 1Corinthians 15:33; Genesis 28:1; Deuteronomy 7:14). If your religious beliefs and convictions do not agree, your marriage relationship will never work out.
“ …It is not good that a man should be alone …” says the Lord God, and He will surely make “…make an help meet for (you)” (Genesis 2:18; Isaiah 34:16).