Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Prayers PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
How would you grade your prayer life?
by Julie Michaelson
10/20/08
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





I cry to Thee
and Thou
dost not
answer me.
[Job 30:20]
************************
"Lord, do you GRADE
us on our PRAYERS?"

[SMILE.]
"Why do you
ask, My precious."

"Well.......
(Sigh.)
Because.....
(More sigh.)
I figure I'd get about
a C-, or a D+."

[CHUCKLE.]

"Yeah; that's
about what I used to
get in Hebrew school.
Oy vey...
THAT was some DISASTER,
WASN'T it?"

[CALM NOD.]
"What of it,
My precious."

"WELL?
Who CARES about HEBREW?
(Look up at ceiling.)
SO?
DO we?
Or, DON'T we?"

[SILENCE.]

"Cuz, I figure,
Ya know - what with
my ratio and all -
that's about what
my grades would be.
(Glance hopefully
up at ceiling vent.)
I mean....YA know:
if You GRADED us,
and all."

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"Ratio."
[RUMBLE OFF IN THE DISTANCE.]

"Yeah."

[FROWN.]
[SOFT RUMBLE.]

"Yeah;
Ya know what I
mean: for every
prayer I pray,
I get about 1/5 over,
like....500*
every TIME."

[BIG RUMBLE.]

(Puzzled frown.)
"Ya know what I mean!
(Clueless look up at ceiling fan.)
For every prayer I say,
You give me about 1% over
150.....or, maybe 5000!"

"Child, what is this about?"

(Another puzzled look.)
(Spoon some pineapple sherbet.)
"Huh?
Ya know, LORD!
My PRAYER life!
It STINKS!"

[SIGH.]
[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"YEAH!
Sure DOES!
I NEVER get what
I WANT!"

[FROWN.]
"Read My Word,
beloved."

"WHY?
(Thoughtful slurp of sherbet.)
Oh.
Ya mean, that part
about the Lord's PRAYER?"

[WISE NOD.]
"That would be a start,
My child."

"Yeah, but that's too
GENERAL, Lord.
(Sassy smile!)
Plus.....Ya know: that's
just for the CHRISTIANS!"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING.]

"WELL?
It IS!"

"I see."
[PATIENT SMILE.]

"Yeah!
How come Ya didn't
put it in the JEWISH PART?"

[CHUCKLE!]
"Which Part is that,
My beloved?"

"Eh......Ya know:
the part with all the
bees, and flies, and locusts,
and all."

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Is that it,
Mein kinder?"

(Thoughtful squint.)
(Second pair of glasses
slip down, a little.)
"Well......sorta.
I mean, naturally,
there's some MORE."
(Get up to put plastic
container of sherbet
away. [When you're
single, you don't have
to worry about eatin'
fancy out of a bowl.
You also don't have to
worry about PLEASING
anybody else: that is,
except for the
Lord of the universe.])
(Clear throat.)
"But....Ya know:
that's about the
gist of it."

"I SEE."

"Yeah....well, I'm
glad SOMEBODY does!
Cuz, I DON'T!"

[AGGRAVATING SILENCE.]

"WELL?"

"Well what,
Mein kinder."

"So, what's my GRADE?"

"I AM."

(Kvetchy puzzled sigh.)
"What's THAT MEAN?"

"You will just have
to read My Word,
child."

(Kvetchy frown.)

"And, continue
to pray."
************************
Pray then like this:
Our Father
Who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be
Thy name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth
as it is
in Heaven....
[Matthew 5:9-13]
***************************

*The author was not a math
major in college. She flunked
her first test in Anthropology
101, because it was all about
math and genes. She still never
got that part about the blue
eyes and the brown eyes. It
doesn't really matter, since
she's, like, totally near-sighted.


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Julie Michaelson or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 253 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw 24 Oct 2008
This piece was chosen to be highlighted in the Cheering Section of the FW Message Boards. Congratulations! Click here to see yours and the others that were selected this week: General Submissions JEWEL CHEST
Marijo Phelps 24 Oct 2008
This was a very fun piece, enjoyed it much!
Deborah Porter  21 Oct 2008

Julie, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You have a wonderful way of communicating. I loved the way you started with the Old Testament scripture, and ended with the Lord's Prayer. Perfect transition.

Apart from the enjoyment of your writing style, the actual message was so good. I wonder how many of us will relate to this? I know I did.

One little thing you may have missed, I think, was in this:

"Yeah; that's about I used to get in Hebrew school.

Did you mean "that's about what I used to get"?

Anyway, thanks so much for making me smile and think today. With love, Deb (FW Challenge Coordinator)

Patty Wysong 21 Oct 2008
I love the humor and the voice in this peice--not to mention the message. Love it.




TRUST JESUS TODAY









Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com