I hurt and its a very very deep hurt....I feel defeated. I thought that I had what it took to weather any storm...to snatch a victory out of the jaws of defeat...but in reality I don't have the strength any more...I've prayed and prayed for that strength, prayed for the courage...and its somehow eluded me.
I dreamed, silly me, that if I prayed hard enough and long enough that I would get what I want. I wanted to be victorious and share my miracle with the world...But we don't get everything we ask for....and our timing is not always insinc with God's...and I have to come to grips with that. I can't keep swimming upstream....its taken too much of a toll on me.
We all pass through and endure difficult seasons in our lives. This has truly been my most difficult time. I'm not special and I'm not unique. I'm just another of God's children trying to make his way...learning as I go.
I pray now that God will see fit to open other doors for me as this one finally closes.......
Leonard -September 2008
Leonard Distaso -- When one door closes, God is faithful to open another. But sometimes we have to get or foot out of the way and let the first door close don't we. "...learning as we go". I do like that. The Lord Bless You.
I can identify with the swimming upstream..you are special to God even if you don't feel it right now. Feelings..facts..faith..it's a hard job bringing them all into line, and feelings are the most unreliable in my experience.