Crossing New Bridges
by Joseph Jagde
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An example of how we mix up more or less territory is by association. For the last 2 years I am afraid to go on a date. The reason is I have 2 dollars in my pocket on average. All of the sudden my pockets are lined with lots of money due to a change in fortune as per my finances. But I am still afraid to go on a date. What happened is that I mixed these fears together at the first juncture or one scene, and I didnít separate them later. Actually, I was never afraid of dating or meeting new people. It was a fear of being found out as a pauper that was the real fear with the associated practical problem of paying my way. But now I continue to find myself afraid to date when the real culprit and obstacle has been removed.
What I need to do is identify the real source of my fear and realize that it is gone now and not further identify myself as being afraid of dating. I made an across the board association and I make one fear comprehensive to the whole scene. I envelope the whole scene with one fear and wrap up the whole thing as a done deal packaged with one fear which rules the situation. I donít have an intrinsic fear of dating but I have developed an associated fear. I've linked a paucity of funds with all aspects of dating. Dating had developed into a fright night for reasons that have since left me, but the fear remains because I have made it associative to what I think is going to be similar but is not and I began to see it as built-in fear when it was more a sideline fear. The fear that at first was secondary to the territory has now become primary in my thinking. Itís just a basic mix up that needs reordering but it is going to effect what I do from here unless I can untangle it. In fact I have never been afraid of dating, it was just the cowlick in my hair, the Popsicle glasses I had, or the pair of socks I had that didnít match that I associated with being rejected and now I think that Iím actually afraid to date. So we need to think about what prior associations we are bringing into new territory that just doesnít apply now or what we are weighing in that just might not be as true as we think it is. I might have lost sight of what I can do, when in a positive sense, I could do something exact or something similar to what I see out there that is working for others. x the fear of flying with something else. It doesnít have to be just fears as there can be lotís of mix-ups and improper associations as we look into territories. All these mix ups might cause me to lose track of real assets that I had, have and still could use. Lots is coming over the airwaves and a lot of presenting content is negative and just about all of it has nothing to do with us in a practical sense. Our personal territories might be operative more at the level of subtext, a subtext which is not only subterranean but real, viable, and visible territory, which is above ground and can be charted for real. However our visibility to this is clouded by paying too much attention to signals, given for example by the media, that of course isn't going to have the charts in most instances for our personal landscape. We donít want to be overly associative towards the bad news of the moment, especially on an ongoing basis, or if we do that at least be able to disengage to get a view of those more personal territories that might be more applicable to me, views that might be and are being obscured in various ways unless I can shake free of some of the bad news around me.
The concept of subtext is an absolute key. People look for the headlines or look at the headlines of their own making. Our priorities are mixed up and we donít know where our opportunities are or how I can find the best view. Our opportunities may not be on the front page, they might be on page 32 of todayís newspaper. Or if we have a major problem, that tends to be the headline in our own thinking, when opportunities are gathering in the subtext of our lives and we donít notice them enough because our attention is on the headlines. Within the subtext, there can be bountiful opportunities and chances with reference to better territory. Lots and many positives might be found in the subtext as well as real opportunities that I might otherwise miss out on if I don't pay attention to other sections of the newspaper and other sections of my life that I have sectioned off for consideration at a later date, if ever.
The subtext tends also to be more personalized to us as the headlines are more global in their message. Often the headlines out there do not apply to you and even your own headlines that you have manufactured for yourself have no real personal application. You may have picked the wrong headline for yourself. I get spashed by a puddle of water and I make this the headline of my day when it has very little if anything to do with any real chances found in the day. Just like some of the newspapers who put out the headlines but didnít get it right, you didnít get your own personal headlines right. Then you say, let me take one more look at the headlines. You have to look further down the coast and into the subtext to find out what could be there for you.
New territory refers to crossing a bridge for many of us. Is there a bridge in front of you? Is there a bridge to your side, on your left or right? Many little bridges appear to us in the course of a day that we could concievably cross. A conversation is can be a bridge, writing a letter can be a bridge, and small opportunities that present themselves in the moment can be little bridges that we can choose to try to cross. How these little chances might knit into something that matters to us is an unknown, but we don't know until we try. Both little and big bridges can operate as subtext with real opportunities with the potential for personal meaning. Our first approach and our current attentions might be elsewhere, but that doesnít mean these territories, options and opportunities arenít there, and it all might be a matter of shifting my attention and better highlighting what I need to or truly want to pay attention to. It's like looking at a lengthy article for study, which sentences or paragraphs do you pick for the highlighter pen?
Those bridges of tomorrow might not be the same ones we see today. For example, I go to the beach today and the surfing conditions are perfect. I go to the beach tomorrow and the conditions arenít up to par or at that same level. That little bridge to the perfect wave was their yesterday but isnít here any more. Simon and Garfunkle sing the song, Bridge over Troubled Waters but at this point the waters might not be troubled anymore. So we are in another paradox, not all-new territory is permanent, but it can be very transient. It suddenly appears and disappears again. It just the way things are. For example, I canít get the bridge on to the field of my High School football team because I am not in High School anymore. Then I canít cross every little bridge that appears. By crossing this little bridge, I might miss that little bridge. I canít be everywhere at the same time. But as I still go on my way, I am free to cross some new bridges, whether they are the smaller or those bigger bridges that might form into an actual brigade for me All these little bridges might connect in a much bigger way, or a much more pleasant way, or a new and surprising way. That the territory can be crossed into implies some validity, but you need to verify that. Condense your ideas into a workable format for you. Donít always take the worldview only and pack everything for the moment. Keep your backpack a little lighter and get yourself a little more nimble to opportunities in the moment. If I'm packing on every single and monumental goal of my life as I go into the city in the afternoon, it might hinder me in taking a look see at this or that. In fact I'm going to the city this weekend and I'm leaving some stuff out of my backpack and keeping it light. Don't always carry around your goals in toto. You can drop some of your goals for the purposes of traveling lighter and you can always pick them up later in the day or another time. The sweeping all encompassing umbrella of all my goals can and often should be divided away for the moment so I can actually experience this moment and this time in a better and freer way, free from the dictates of all my goals being carried to every situation I might have. A girl is looking for a husband, she doesn't have to carry that goal with her into every meeting with a man, it is better to divide it out at times and pick up on it only if the situation begins to actually look like it has something to do with the goal. You pick the territory of your choosing. Maybe I want to find my way into this territory one or twice in a good and positive way, and then I can reel in further opportunities from that standpoint.
But the question that continues is why I didnít cover the territory. I wanted to hike 20 miles I hiked only 5. What happened? How should I view this experience? Maybe I got to the trails too late and I ran out of daylight. Then I could say, I got to hike 5 miles and get some sun, so at least I enjoyed that. Should I have to beat myself up for not covering the 20 miles this time? Should I then say, Iíll give up hiking all together because I just canít get to finish line. Or should I consider other available approaches such as getting new hiking shoes, starting out earlier in the day, getting someone to hike with me the next time so I can also have the company as a good distraction rather than hiking by myself.
The last chance is another theme you can consider. It might be your last chance for this territory or you can make believe it is your last chance. You truly might be seeing this particular stretch of coast for the last time. Maybe that will get you moving. This can work both ways however in that I might be overly concerned that it is my last chance and freeze up my movements. What I'm doing is testing different realms of thought and trying to see what actually will get me to move.
For example, I visit Hawaii. If itís my last chance to visit Hawaii, I might be more likely to want to see as much of the islands as I can. At the same time, the trip may not be as relaxing as it would be if did know I was coming back and could cover more of the territory next time. I can hold a card in front of me that says, this is your last chance, or I can put down the card and proceed that way.
Maybe I had an off day and Iíll be ready and able to hike 20 miles another day. This wasnít my last chance for a 20-mile hike or any hike, I hope.. Or should I make up for this and go on to hike 35 miles on my next hike to bring my average up to 20 miles per hike. Should I look for easier terrain next time? I can do battle on different fronts. There is a lot to consider in a drive towards a number. Again, should I just give up hiking? This meaning that I will fall short of my goals in total or just forget any goals in that area altogether. If I scratch my goals than I canít fail because the goal isn't there anymore. I've erased everything, the possibility of success, the possibility of failure and even the goal itself. Even a late start in the day, the week, or the years of my life still gives me further territory to consider. There is a lot more out there. We all have wells we can tap further. We can tap the still running wells of experience, common sense, knowledge, real talent, and ability, and so on as we cover more ground.
There can be subtle erosion in our ability to go forward and cover some territory if the prior expectations we have had for ourselves havenít been reached. There is a wearing down of our will to do more with an erosion of our desire. The trick is to juggle our expectations in some fashion that gets us in the game to some extent. Sometimes if I lower, my expectations I have a better approach for me, even if I go as far as the just get your feet wet approach. I can always raise my expectations later, but I can keep them lower for this situation. Of course, it was okay to have the high expectations, but I donít have to maintain a continued allegiance to them and I don't need to be raising the bar of expectations at every turn in the road.
A personal example for me is that I play pickup basketball. I might normally go to a gym and play every possible game throughout the evening. Another possible approach would be to go to the park and say Iíll play 3 games regardless of the result. If I lose I donít have to play another 3 games to try and getting an even record. This way I donít have in mind that I must play 3 hours, I can approach this on a less grand scale, maybe Iíll play more nights. At other times, we might need to raise the stakes and aim high, and see how good it could be.
We can try to make up for things but this can result in an overreach. I havenít run in weeks so I try to run the 100 miles this week to make up for it. Iíve enlarged the territory and made it more foreboding, when I should have maybe just kept it the same size. What I want to do is somewhat adjust the picture I have to make it more inviting for me, if I do really want to proceed. Often the thing that I might need to do is make it seem less taxing or less overwhelming to me. If I feel like I am taking on a huge front, I might just forget about it.
The idea of covering territory relates to the school experience whose ways stay with us long after the experience is over. To get an A, we would have to cover a lot of territory in thorough fashion in most cases. The reason being that the test material could come from anywhere in the book or chapters and we would not know the questions in advance. We had to study for all possible questions relating to the test outline. . What happens is we carry on with this mentality after school. We keep marching long after the parade is over. We keep swinging the bat but the game is already over. Since we are so used to getting marks we mark ourselves in similar fashion in everyday life and this makes us feel we need to cover territory in a more comprehensive fashion. So if I pick up a newspaper, I feel I should read a number of articles. If I go golfing, I feel I should play all 18 holes. If I go shopping, I feel I should hit every store. In the back of my mind, if I am not covering all the bases I may not get the A.
If we do want to write a review on ourselves, at least properly review ourselves in the category that we are dealing with. Donít go to a movie and review a comedy against Ben Hur. Review the movie and rate it in its category if you are going to rate it at all. Look at the territory you are dealing with, you are not going to get in warm swim at South Pole. Have a degree of acceptance as to what comes with the territory. Donít rate the swimming conditions at the Pole against the Caribbean. Donít rate a light comedy against a serious drama when you go to the movies. The movies have different aims. We arenít always aiming for the same thing every time. If I put out my telescope, Iím aiming to see the stars. If I grab the remote, Iím aiming to change channels.
We have less knowledge of the territory in its more distant aspects but the evidence close-by also counts.
This all results in a hesitancy to explore new territory. I still have a prior gap in knowledge as to what the territory is and what it consists of. I have less in my hand in terms of what I know about the new territory. I donít have all the pieces to the puzzle to start with. I am less likely to go forward. I canít go to the classroom unprepared so I donít attempt do anything else in life that has a similar feel to it unless I feel I have a degree of preparedness that matches up. I almost constantly relate to the idea of needing to be prepared at all times.
But in reality we can leave territory uncovered without getting dressed down for not getting an A. You get to keep you melons and millions because this is not a test and this new territory is not a testing ground. I can go further or not so far in the territory. We are free to get any grade in that there is no teacher, no letters beginning with A and Johnny doesnít go to school anymore. The territory I am considering may indeed have never been covered by anybody. I remember listening to a lecture of a writer who took a train in Eastern Europe and remarked," I have never seen so much snow that has never been walked on. " That thought alone reminds us of just how much new and previously uncharted territory there is out there and even within ourselves and the abilities we already have.
If your going to give yourself a grade at least match it up a bit with the territory that could possibility be covered. We continue grading ourselves well after school, but on exactly what we are not sure. While in school I knew a test was on chapters 1 through 3, the territory Iím grading myself on now is less certain. Say I go running, I give myself an A plus for 5 or more miles, an A for 5 miles, B plus for the 4, and a B for three or more miles rather than just giving myself a A only if I run more than 10 miles and a B for 5 miles. How did I get to this or any other arbitrary grading system?
Or if I am shopping, I give myself an A for going to one large store, 2 medium stores, or three small stores in terms of territory covered rather than giving the A only for three large stores. I relax my marking system to reward myself without limiting myself to one approach to marking.
I can be a more liberal marker, giving myself an A for golfing the first 9, a B plus for reading the first 10 pages a book. From there if you want you donít have to give out grades on everything, you can gradually go to pass and fail. This is for those who canít easily make the transition to doing without any grades.
Then we do the same thing as well with deadlines. I am so used to deadlines at work that I bring this into all other areas of my life. I have to drink these three beers in 20 minutes or else.
The deadlines I am dealing with at work might help me get going and they are pretty apparent and transparent. But the deadlines I impose on myself maybe partly out of habit may be a bit hazier as to the why and where. Why are those people including you rushing around and where are they going? Why do I need to from point A to point B in X amount of time? Try doing something without a deadline. It will involve an alter ego for you Iím sure.
We can read a book with a different view because we are not being tested on it and we can enjoy it more on a page by page basis rather than aiming outright for the comprehensive read that is necessary to test well. If I do enjoy the book on a page-by-page basis, I might be more present to it and presence relates to appreciation or gratefulness. I can be grateful for this stretch of coast, regardless of what has happened on the previous stretches of coast. For example, I go on the Dave Letterman show one time, I can be grateful that I shared a stretch of coast with Dave.
The territory we cover is what we choose on our own. If you only hike 5 miles, you are not getting a D. If you only read half a book, you are not getting a failing grade. That game of grading is already over.
For those of you who are still taking courses or involved in something similar to that, you can adjust your thinking away from that grading system in the other areas of your life that youíre not actually being graded on. This way you can cover less territory in these other areas, which is better than nothing maybe, without a lesser grade. No territory might be at the expense of some territory that could still be covered by you that you could put some time and energy into but not with a full commitment due to limited resources of time and energy. I can mount a small trek into the territory. The good mark is a bonus not a requirement. Youíre not getting a grade anyway unless you choose that option of testing yourself. You can paint only part of a picture if you want especially if itís your hobby, which you are supposed to enjoy. There is still a call to quality but not at the cost of covering a given amount of territory or else you are subject to a failure. If we cover less territory, it is not going to cost us an A in this situation.
It is nice to have an A as a backdrop it indicates some mastery or facility with the subject or situation or subject. But it does not follow that my allegiance should be with the A or what the A represents, it could be with the D or it could be with something I am not getting marked on. I may improve on the area where I have a D and develop a liking for that subject. Or my better options and opportunities might be outside this realm and further down the coast.
We donít want to totally know the idea of marks. If I put a great deal of time and effort into a novel and itís not a big seller as opposed to someone who put a similar amount of time and effort and achieved the outcome of a bestseller, my approach still has a mark of determination and passion. There is the mark of passion that we see in some relationships. There is a mark of excellent that we can cite. We can see the mark of quality and excellence sometimes in our talents and ourselves. There is the mark of endurance that some how shown in what they have gone through and the way they have gone thru. Then I can ponder what has given me a mark of satisfaction and how I can get there again. But how does all this always convert into the A?
Then we look at the world at investments. In the stock market, I can make a lot or my stocks might tank and I could lose a lot of money. Enron which had been the 7 th largest company in the U.S. just evaporated in terms of its worth leaving investors reeling with losses.
The stock market is an example of the marketplace. The marketplace could any market for anything. Within this market whatever it is I am subject to the whims of the marketplace and the associated gains and losses.
Then the next concept is that I have to pay a toll. I go into the city I pay a couple of tolls as I travel in. As Iím relaxing somewhere in the city, I say Iíll take a walk. For a second I have the thought that I also have to pay a toll for each city block I walk. Then I realize I donít have to pay a toll. People also find there might be a psychic toll for going into new territory. Tolls also could relate to the idea of prerequisites. But if they pay this toll a given time, it doesnít follow that they will always be psychic tolls to go into a new territory. It could be free and I am not paying any price. It might be a breeze, but it is just assumed that there will be another toll because you had one before. I find I can just freely move along the coast.
Not every situation is going to exact the same toll. I might decide to travel across several States. I find Iím paying a toll every 20 miles in Nebraska. I go 3 quarters of the way through Kansas before I realize that there are no tolls in Kansas.
But if I pay a toll, that doesnít mean my allegiance has to be with where I pay the toll. In the prior example, I paid tolls in Nebraska but not Kansas. My allegiance could be with Kansas if I choose.
I might have paid an actual toll. I went to law school, investing time, money, and talent in this course of study. Then I practice law for a year and decide I might want to do something else. I have paid a heavy toll in my efforts for this law degree. I donít lose the degree if I do something else but then again Iím not using it. I can have some allegiance to my investment of time and effort but my allegiance can be elsewhere if I choose, maybe towards something that doesnít have a similar toll and might have a minimal toll or no real toll.
Good marks or not so good marks, making that deadline or else, investing well or else, all concepts which neatly fold into the win or lose proposition. But everything isnít on the roller coaster ride of wins and loses, deadlines and marks, deals and contracts. I can revolve some of my approach around these things, if they serve my purposes. The key word is that they serve, not be the master who Iím supposed to be. I still want to be the master of the territories of my choosing. So what are we left with?
Even if I make all my deadlines, get the high marks, pay my tolls, this doesnít tell me all the I am able to do. All our enablers arenít in these venues. There are other enablers out there that might be left unexplored, keeping me out of new territory.
Before you miss the deadlines, miss the mark, and evaporate on your profits, consider what else is actually out there. You got yourself in shape for deadlines, marks and deals, but that conditioning overflows into other territories and then I begin to have similar responses in all other situations based on what I feel are similar triggers. But say I get my A, pay my toll, and meet the demands of the marketplace and get in under the deadline. What do have left?
But everything isnít on the roller coaster ride of wins and losses deadlines and marks, deals and contracts. I can revolve and evolve some of my approaches around these things, if they serve my purposes. The key word is that they serve my purposes, and not be the master who Iím supposed to be. I still want to be the master of the territories of my choosing. So what are we left with? Even if I drop the concepts of marks, deadlines, the marketplace and tolls, then what do have left?
Another aspect is that with deadlines, marks, tolls, the gains and losses of the marketplace, if we overuse these concepts, which do indeed, have utility we have the tendency to keep looking in the mirror. And this is even if by all these measures things are going well. Itís like the attractive person who looks at himself or hereself in the mirror all day. It would be better to bring a pocket mirror and continue forward with an occasional check on things. His or her allegiance is with the mirror. Maybe a person could be looking in the mirror of the marketplace all day. There are people who are constantly checking on their stocks. They are forming an unflagging allegiance to knowing the changes in their stock prices. . What happens is, because we are looking in the mirror of marks, deadlines and the gain or losses in the market, we are losing sight of some additional territories? We keep ourselves off the coasts. Do you think Columbus when he got to the coast of America just looked at the ships log and made his entries? Iím sure he looked up at the coast and its majesty and contemplated the territories he wanted to navigate further. He didnít travel this far too just stop there and admire himself in the mirror of the moment. There was further lush coastline to explore.
Columbus when he went to America wasnít under a specific deadline, didnít have to pay a toll, wasnít involved in an established marketplace, and wasnít getting a grade. He was focused on exploring new territory.
But maybe Columbus was grading himself and he gave himself good marks for his discovery as he hit the shores of America. But the grade itself wouldnít have given him further pointers as to which coast to explore.
We tend to look for pointers in our marks and deadlines, but only some, and not all, of the pointers are found there.
For example, if I get an A in chemistry, I might continue to study this subject. That A serves as a pointer to go on. If I get a D, it might be that I would consider other subjects. That D is a pointer not to continue in the study of chemistry. Then because we use these considerations as pointers, we always tend to look for similar pointers when the new territories, the later coasts, might be so unknown to us that we donít have pointers through standard measures. Then we might have some abilities that we havenít traversed yet and we donít find out because we are looking for pointers that arenít in our usual and used to ways of doing things. I need a good grade tell me to go there. Then I never get there because it doesnít fall under the marking system. I havenít found my pointers. which would have been found outside the expected parameters I was used to dealing with.
There are plenty of pointers outside the field of a given approach.
Another thing is that deadlines can cause us to lack presence to the moment. She is running along the coast on the beach, instead of being present in the moment and enjoying the surroundings she is worried about her deadlines next week at work. Her primary allegiance at the moment is with the deadline. She has both her own pointers and enablers to be present and enjoy the run on the beach but she is referring to her deadlines which donít contain pointers and enablers for the situation she is now in at this moment.
Part of the truth is, that within some situations I am in is that I win, or I fill in the blank with something that is not a loss, rather than I win or lose. You either win, nothing happens, or something else positive happens.
Take for example the expression of you have nothing to lose in trying to reach the company of the opposite sex. Of course this isnít the situation in pure form but it shades towards that. You didnít have this personís pleasant company in the first place, so you lost nothing that you first had if you try to meet with this person.
When we come closer to this concept of I can only win, I can expand into territory without having to be comprehensive because whatever ground Iím covering Iím winning. If I expand a little on my hobby I am winning, if I expand further I am winning more. So I enjoy the some of the coastline and I enjoy more of it as I get to more of it. Whatever I can get to is a win. If I run a mile, I win one mile, if I run two miles I win two miles. If I donít run at all, I didnít lose because I didnít start out running. I still have what I started with. Your allegiance doesnít have to be to any one total in terms of miles that you run.
Start with the basics. Your alive and thatís a win right there. Itís a good wide sun out there and there is lots of territory under its watches. We can still have that sun dance.
Even negativity itself doesnít keep me off the coast. I still have this beautiful lush coast around me. What negativity does is it hinders my trip further down the coast.
Creeping negativity can be just as insidious and create just as much damage to your interest and the more blatant or outlandish negativity that we sometimes encounter.
You want to charge out of that negativity and get over San Juan Hill with T.R.
Compare this with soaring optimism. I get to a stretch of coast I am optimistic that I have some good waves to surf on this stretch of beach. But I get there and beyond this there are some beautiful ladies and great music with a band playing by the ocean. My optimism soars as I see the situation is even better than my original optimistic forecast.
An example where we can feel soaring optimism is when we hear a medley of songs that we really like and with each song, we are feeling better and better.
Then when are we at the apex anyway? Is the apex for you going to be the year 2025? That covers a lot of territory from here and now. Are you going to hang below the ground until then? Look at the ideal surferís wave, which comes to shore from afar. The sturdy high wave comes into a crest either closer to the shore or further out in the sea. The wave might crest earlier or later than expected. We canít just assume the crest will be closer to shore, we canít be sure. And in the same way, we canít assume the apex will be found as we go further into a given territory. It might be found right at the beginning as well. For example, I pick up the paper, and I read just one article. This might be the summit if itís the right article. Or I just take two books out of a library that has thousands of books. I enjoy both these books thoroughly. I have reached two apexes right there. So freedoms wave can offer opportunities at all points, not only at the crest. But donít assume you are not at an apex for something that you want to do right now. In some ways, you may be at the pinnacle now. There can be those types of opportunities in this very moment, this very day, this very year. Grandma Moses did start painting when she was a grandma and hence the name. She was at an apex right then and there for painting good art. What if she assumed that she missed the wave or at least its crest? No, she didnít do that she surfed well for her painting ability at that time. So if we are going to continue to mark ourselves, let mark ourselves on finding some apexes and pinnacles, for catching some of the good waves that are still out there, not for the only marking ourselves for the amount of territory we cover or don't cover.
And who is to say we need an apex or crest as well. We do want to take advantage of an apex but we can also ride the wave at a point further out from shore before it reaches its crest. There are opportunities both before and after and not only at the crest in terms of surfing a good wave. The opportunities might be right at the beginning. For example in the new popular movie, Harry Potter, they go into the foreboding woods at night. We in the audience find this affect of the woods being a place of mystery and danger within a couple of minutes of being in the woods, not a long time after. So sometimes, what we want can appear right away. The swiftness of the new surprises us. A window might dive open for you in an area in which you have previously been cloistered. We are into the territory right away that intrigues us. We can get into a book right away, a movie right away, a swim right away. So we donít have to cover inordinate amounts of territory to get to where we want to be. Less territory does the trick with maybe both the trick and the treat being more at the beginning.
It terms of the territory we are going to look at is comes in at the point of what is the mix we are going to want on our agenda. There is so much out there that can trigger our best responses, our better selves, if we take a walk into those new territories. There is no question that there is a crossing over, however what seems so difficult to obtain I may already have in part or even in the greater part in my possession. I might already have most of what I need to do this or make this attempt. I might be fooled into thinking itís always going to be hard when I can grab the easy handle. Itís like sailing there can be rough spots but some breezy sailing as well. One rough patch can mask the truth of a very easy road. If something were ultimately going to go well with us, it would be better that it stay with us it would be better that it be something that wouldnít escape us so easily. We need to see that we do in part have what we already seek and this part we want to keep. We donít want to lose the part we already had, in our seeking other parts.
Then we arrive at the decision making process. A decision that is indefinitely postponed is a decision that just isnít made. I keep talking about that trip to the South Pole, but that is the climax of my decision right there. A decision goes A to Z to Z to A to O or just DE and stop. We are all over the alphabet. All of which is a variable course but realize that the loop wasnít completed and we actually arrived at nothing. I might have been involved in a bad loop and I just need to get out of it.
Our affects and affections as we move into these territories will require some sort of process, which is considered as agreeable to deciding to actually proceed. But this is counterbalanced with questions as to the new territory Iím in and whether I like them or not. I am in a new day whether I like it or not I am in this situation whether I like it or not and I just want to chart some agreeable terms to proceed with. Get in touch and tune with the reality of it.
Itís also a question to what territories Iíve been pulled into, the global forces that pull me like the tides of the ocean. For example, now that the tide of technology is here, I donít need to send a letter by pony express. And if I look for the pony express, I'm not going to find it.
Really pay attention to where and how we are actually welcome. If the overall answer to that question is not yes, then there are plenty of other territories that might beckon that I can beach on further down the coastlines. I can question my prior allegiance if I am no longer welcome. Pluralize your paths and plans to include the ways in which you feel welcome.
You could outright move to another country. If the signs are unwelcoming, you can release further ties with this territory. You can widen your landing strip or just land at another port.
We donít want to give up on good attributes just because we go into a given territory. For example, look at the major league baseball pitchers when they go to bat. Most of them are pathetic as hitters, just awful. Why should someone who is a good enough athlete to pitch in the major leagues not be able to give a reasonable at bat? It seems like there is an unspoken contract that pitchers donít have to hit, as long as they pitch well. They have contracted out their ability to hit a baseball. Or say the shooting guard goes to the point and now his contract is to pass only, he gives up on the shooting. Why give up what you have already to get to a new territory. What kind of deals are we making? Why make contracts, implicit or otherwise, that cancel out real abilities and attributes?
Sometimes what youíre seeing is what youíre actually getting so we donít need to look further to get the answer. The coast you see is the coast you get.
The reason is that we donít want to travel without these prior parts. We want to retain the benefits of the prior parts as we go into new territories. This part of the picture I already had so I'll keep it.
If youíre into territory that doesnít count in your eyes, letís get some movement. Youíre trying to please everyone but yourself. But youíre a valid customer to. What you think counts. If any thought counts, why doesnít yours.
Donít dismiss or put a discount on a thought because itís yours. Your thoughts can be as valid to you as what the populace says. Popular thought on the subject isn't always going to meet your personal needs and plans.
Say you have several thoughts around a matter. We will put this number as 10 major thoughts. All the thoughts are subject to conjecture. Which are the thoughts that are ultimately going to ring the loudest you may not know until you go into the territory that these thoughts pertain to? So donít let, say thoughts 2 and 6 which are the more negative thoughts, rule the group of ten. Usually we let this happen to eliminate territory, so those other positive thoughts about that territory were not explored to find out if there were right. We ultimately make the choices but why litter the landscape with negativity before the facts and feelings present themselves, putting things on the garbage heap, before we might chance upon the brighter bulb of the positive. We might not know enough to let negativity carry the day, so why let it take the lead at the outset ?
Which thoughts of the 10 will predominate? Even if thoughts 1 through 9 are negative, will the last thought which is the one and only positive thought be the one whoís vote was right?
What we want to do is run over the positive thoughts as well in that list of thoughts. At least give them that chance instead of giving all or most of your thinking to the negative thoughts. And then being that all the thoughts both negative and positive are subject to conjecture, why do we make the negative thought the solid fact. In fact don't make any of the thoughts, positive or negative, a solid color until some actual proof emerges. Why do I maintain my allegiance to the negative thoughts only? I might in fact let everything hinge on one or two negative thoughts in an otherwise positive situation if I continue in this fashion. Do you want the doorways of your future to hinge on a couple of negative thoughts? Yes, have the negative thoughts, but keep them in a faded pencil color, unless you have some further proof to confirm their truth., and only then begin to color them into the situation.
But what usually happens, and it is an absolute key to recognize. 9 of the ten thoughts are positive, and the one negative thought becomes the concluding thought without further review. Watch out for this, the one negative thought becomes the concluding thought, the thought, which says, donít even bother looking into this territory further. We have the one negative that cancels out all the positives and gives us the excuse to say I told you so. And when their are any number of thoughts that can be applied, why is this thought in particular being made the lead thought, or the concluding thought on this. I might be looking for just any excuse, and what this does is cause us not to look at the real reasons which may not be clear unless we have some forward movement or some testing.
Another way in which we tap into the negative is we are in a situation where we have very little information and on balance we just donít know. Because I donít know, I am hesitant to go further and I say it wouldnít have been worthwhile anyway as I refute the chance without taking the chance. I impute negativity to justify my lack of movement rather than just saying I am not going to move, but whether it would have been good or not I just donít know. I am contemplating 4 possible vacation spots. I havenít traveled to any of these areas previously. I just donít know what the areas will be like based on first hand experience. I can only pick one location at this time. I impute negativity to the choices that I donít make to justify the decision I do make. In reality, all 4 locations did hold some intrigue and still hold my interests as possible places to visit. Itís not like I can now say I went to these other locations and didnít enjoy the surroundings or myself. I still donít know for sure.
Still another way we tap the wells of negativity is by say having five good quality choices. We can only pick one or two. We try to find a negative about the other choices to justify are final pick or picks and in fact those negatives arenít there. I donít just want to say I picked from among 5 good choices, and that all of them had quality and validity. An example of this is I look at 5 brand new cars towards a possible purchase. I really like them all and they are all quality vehicles. I can only pick one. I might impute a negativity on some of the cars that just isnít there to justify my final choice.
If we do this, at least realize we are doing this and how it might begin to cause us to form additional pockets of negative viewpoints that just donít help us and more dangerously boomerang back to how we view what we have to offer. What can happen, is the prominent girl is saying this guy and that guy isn't good enough for me, but if she does this enough, it might bomerang back to where she starts to think maybe what it is is that I'm not good enough. So pick some apples just to say your good enough to pick apples and keep that thought going. I donít artificially create negative mindsets just because Iím indecisive and it helps me fuction with my indecision, and just because I donít know well enough and I canít borrow from previous experiences well enough and I have to make choices on information that is much more limited than I would have hoped for and lacks the extent of predictive value I seek.
Capture those thoughts swimming in your head and bring them into the shores of these new coasts. Let the negative oneís drown.
Letís all look at your leadership abilities. First are you going to run over some of those positive thoughts and maybe let then take the lead. What could be some leading positive thoughts about yourself. Make note of anything you think is positive about yourself. Test your leadership skills. Test yourself well into those new territories and if you do okay maybe you can lead the flock, help the brethren. You could coach a team, run for office, and guide the children.
Finally I question your allegiance. I question your allegiance to paths that no longer work for you now and maybe never did. I question your allegiance the dull routine that has deprived your soul. I question your allegiance to the days gone by at the expense of viewing today the windows of possibility, which are opening for you now. I question your allegiance to finding fault, instead of the good. I question your allegiance to the ways things have always been and never given a chance that which could yet be.
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