The best memories I have, Lord, are the ones with You, when my heart seemed so warm and almost ready to burst through my chest. You kept me in wonder…I had trouble believing I could ever be used by You.
You kept me busy too, with so many opportunities to love people ~ especially the little ones.
You gave me a sweet companion who wasn’t afraid of tears….and who believed the prayers he asked. You know he counted himself as nothing except for You…thinking schooling had something to do with worth.
Now, I’m alone, and I’m struggling a bit. I know, with my mind, but I guess I’m like the child who told his father after the nightmare, that he needed someone with skin on.
It’s the everyday problems with plumbing and weeds ~ shingles and doors that throw me the curves.
Thank you for the bricks. I had forgotten about that little walkway we made. The dust over the years of illness had covered it all up and things had collected on top, but the moment I cleared it, I remembered that little head toddling out to the playhouse (long removed now) and the flowers we put by the side of the door. I could see her from the kitchen window. I could cook and watch the “grandies” play.
That made me remember the first swing.
She was so tiny we had an enclosed seat. The trees were healthy then and I had the prettiest grass I’d ever had just outside the window.… beneath that swing seat. We looked at each other when we saw her delight, and I remember asking, “Do you suppose the grass will wear out?”
The answer must have come from You, God….”The grass will grow back, the child will grow up….” he said.
I said I couldn’t stay here, Lord, if he went away…now I find I can’t leave. There are too many memories…
It’s hard to watch what we worked so hard to make beautiful,
disintegrate and fade away.
Sometimes I understand that I can’t do this, ~
I just keep making it one more day.
So Lord, walk with me again today. I can’t run anymore and I may have to lean a little harder, but I won’t be home again on this side, until You take me to the sky.
