I always knew it was true that God is king of heaven, earth and the universe. I’ve also known that as a child of God I had the right to a happy life, but I failed to see that God made the universe to work for me, not against me. I knew intuitively that God gave me a will that’s free to choose what I think, believe, say and do, but what I didn’t know took me down wrong roads. I believed that destiny led me, instead of the other way around. It wasn’t until I found that when I courageously follow God’s lead, no matter how scary it may seem, I always end up where bot He and I intend me to be.
For a time, my journey through life blindly led me to hard times, strife and the mess that stress from bitterness brings. Nothing changed for me. until one day when God showed me through his mysterious way how to change and rearrange my destiny. No one needed that life lesson more than I at a time in my life when my thoughts and beliefs were leading me to what might have been the demise of my life.
If I had a dime for every time I whined, “Life’s not fair,” I’d be too rich to care how unfair my life seemed to be. Living within what I believed was a justified state of self pity, who would have thought that my demise would become a blessing in disguise? Who would believe that a deadly disease could teach me how to live with peace of mind as a victim free human being? That’s why I believe my story is the reason why they say, “God works in mysterious ways.”
The most important day of my life, ironically began when my Oncologist said, “Be prepared to lose your hair.” Although I knew chemotherapy would not be easy, I’d never thought of going bald at all. My mind simply refused to go there, so with conviction, I went on a mission to find spare hair. After looking all around, the only wig store I found was within a very rough side of town. Still, I traveled there to give the wig shop a try. When I arrived, to my surprise, I found myself more anxious than I’d ever been before when I noted the bars on the windows and doors. Closing my eyes, I tried to find the courage to get out of the car and go inside, so I took a deep breath and told myself to get over it. I simply refused to leave without hair to spare, so with a determined mind inside a head that simply refused to become baldly, I got out of the car, locked it shut and boldly walked through the heavily secured door of the store.
Even though I couldn’t have been more determined, my courage immediately became rearranged the moment I stepped into the place, with what I’m sure was a pathetic look on my face. There were heads of hair everywhere, but each had a face that seemed haunting to me. Still, my self pity haunted me even more, so the store clerk looked surprised when I walked inside the door. He appeared to be a criminal to me. With taboos covering his bare arms and God only knew what else, he had more body rings than I’d ever seen in my life. He wore a ring pierced on his eye brow and even through his nose. I was pre-judging him, I suppose, so when he asked if I needed help, I replied that I was only browsing around for a while. That’s when I hid within a far removed isle, away from him, and that’s when a lump began to form in my choked throat.
“Please don’t let me cry in this place,” I prayed.
That’s when panic set in, so I turned to race away and almost ran into the tabooed man. Apparently, he’d been standing by my side all that time, and as hard as I tried to remain dignified, I began to cry. As buckets of tears poured down my cheeks and onto the floor, I was mortified of course, but the man who appeared to be a criminal kindly offered a tissue to me. Dabbing my eyes, I apologized. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed to the guy. That’s when I almost shouted out, “I have cancer and soon I’ll go completely bald. Maybe I do need some help after all.”
The clerk was surprisingly not a jerk, because you see, he found a chair for me and said, “Why don’t you sit down and allow me to help.” I complied with tears in my eyes and when I calmed down just a bit, he explained that he knew exactly what I’d need. Leaving me there to find the perfect head of hair, I was supposed to find that he came back with two. “Meet Thelma and Louise,” he proudly announced. Explaining to me that these synthetic wigs would be easier to keep, he promised me that the style would always remain in place. Besides, they’d gone on sale that very day, so eagerly I tried them on. “You look fabulous in each,” he excitedly said to me, and oddly enough, I agreed. Thelma made me appear to be a mysterious brunette, but they guy advised that Louse could be just for fun when I wanted to be a voluptuous blonde.
As ironic as it seems, I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I felt more alive and glamourous too. Who knew that by the time I walked back through the doors of the store, I had more hair than I’d ever had before and the man who seemed to be a criminal to me only moments before had become a heaven sent friend in the end. He watched out for me through the barred window as I carefully placed Thelma and Louise in the passenger seat. I waved good bye to the angel in disguise when I got settled into the driver’s seat, and rolled the window down as I raced through the rough side of town, feeling completely at ease. The wind blew our hair as the radio blared. I’m sure that we were a sight to see, but I don’t remember a time in my life when I’ve ever felt so powerfully free. “I choose to be victim free,” I commanded loudly. Thelma and Louse seemed to agree, and by the way, I believe I heard God say, “And so it is.”
As the months of chemotherapy went by, to my Oncologist’s surprise, I never lost one hair on my faithful head. “It’s impossible,” he said. Still, that’s when I knew it was true. Life was meant to be lived abundantly for me. God provides more than enough of what I need. I’d never be bald unless I chose to be, so you see, not only did I keep my hair, but with Thelma and Louse, I had hair to spare. Although the wigs were never needed by me, I believe God led me to a place I’d have never been caught dead in otherwise, and to a guy who became a blessing in disguise to show me, through Thelma and Louse that when I choose to follow God’s lead, He always takes me to where I need to be, and today I remain cancer free.