"But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew what was in all people." (Jesus 2:24)
At one time in my life, I hid my face from everyone. Whenever I could, I'd wear a sweatshirt with the hood up to keep my face in shadows. At other times, I'd simply keep my face down and avoid looking at others so they wouldn't see what I considered my shameful appearance. Even from my own sight I hid. Though I needed to wear glasses to see, I'd keep them off throughout the day, especially when I might pass by a mirror. The acne that had sprouted all over my face made me ashamed for others to see my outward appearance.
Though I no longer fear to show my outward appearance to others, the idea of revealing all that's in my heart to anyone else strikes me with terror. I've erected barriers all my life to protect myself from being known by others. Very, very few people know the real me and even among those closest to me, I don't think anyone knows everything I've done and all that's in my heart. The passage today reminds me, though, that there is One who does know everything about me: Jesus.
Honestly, that revelation comes with not a little anxiety. He knows everything? Even those things I wouldn't tell my closest friend, , my parents, my brothers? I start to look for a place to hide, somewhere I can be shielded from his probing eyes. Perhaps, like the comic book Superman, if I hide behind lead his X-ray vision won't penetrate my heart. Yet, even there, his eyes find me. I find no place to escape to, no little part of me I can hide away, nothing that his gaze won't search out. Does that make you squirm? It does for me.
Ah , but there lies the beauty of Jesus' sacrifice. He didn't die for us in ignorance, not knowing what we're truly like. He knows all men (and women), yet "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8) Each week in church, Christians around the world Christians confess their sins and ask forgiveness, yet God knows those sins already and has forgiven us. Yet, that should make us all the more eager to open up our hearts and confess our sins freely, for here is One with whom we can be completely open, without fear. In heaven, we have One who looks down on us with love that has no reservations, a perfect love that can drive out all fear. When we know that, we shall truly be able to open our hearts to others, for we can rest in the absolute security of God's love. He knows us fully, but still loves us.