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Reaching for the Brass Ring
by Julie Michaelson
08/20/08
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(Author's note: San Antonio has
very hard water.)
*****************************
And God said,
Let there be a firmament
in the midst
of the waters,
and let it separate
the waters
from the waters.
[Genesis 1:6]
******************************
"L.....O.....R.....D?
Can You do some MAGIC on
my TOILET RING?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"No, child."

(Whiny voice.)
"WHY N....O.....T?"

[PATIENT SIGH OF A LOVING FATHER.]

"HUH?"

[SILENCE.]

"I thought You DID that kinda
STUFF?"

"No."

"Well.......what ABOUT all that
stuff on PAGE O...N...E?"

"What page one."

"Ya KNOW!
P...A...G...E O...N...E!
PAGE ONE!
Ya KNOW!
The page with all the FIRMAMENTS
on IT!"

"Ah.
[CHUCKLE.]
I see."

"YEAH!"

[FROWN.]

"Aw!
Come on!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"See.....You just don't UNDERSTAND!
That's cuz You're just a SPIRIT!
It's a........
It's a HUMAN THING!"

[LONG GAZE OF A LOVING FATHER.]
"Are you trying to butter Me
up, Mein kinder?"

(Burst out laughing!)
"Aw, please?
Can't I see some real MAGIC?
"Just this ONCE?"

[FIRM SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
"No."

(Whiny voice of a beloved child.)
"But, L......O......R.......D!"

"I said no,
child."

(Pout.)

[SILENCE.]

"Well........
(Pout.)
What do I U......S.......E?"

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Read My Word, child."

"But, W.......H.......Y?
(More whining.)
They didn't HAVE TOILET
RINGS, in those D....A.....Y.....S!"

"OY VEY."

"YEAH!
That's what I SAY,
Lord!"

[PATIENT FROWN.]
"The world has these things,
My precious."

"Uh, UH!"

"Yes."

"NO!
I've TRIED EVERYTHING!
And, You know I can't use that
LIME Away stuff! The smell....
reminds me of my ex-HUSBAND!
(Nauseous grimmace.)
Nothin' WORKS, L.....O......R......D!"

[VERY PATIENT SIGH.]
"I want you to read
My Word more,
My beloved."

(More whining.)
"But......I A....M!
(Irritable glare at the air vent.)
I.......A.....M!"

"Then, read It some more."

"But, L......O.......R........D!
How's that gonna solve my
TOILET RING P....R.....O.....B.....L....E....M?
I don't GET it!"

"I want you to know
Who I AM,
child!"

(Irritable silence.)
(Pout.)
"But, I K...N....O.....W
Who You ARE, L....O.....R.....D!"

"No.
[REPROVING FROWN.]
You don't."

"YEAH!
You're the One Who Made
all the FIRMAMENTS!
WELL?
Isn't a TOILET RING sorta
LIKE a .......F...I....R....M....A....M....E...N...T?"

[COUNTING TO TEN.]

"HUH?"

[GRUFF SIGH.]
[SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
***************************
[UP IN HEAVEN.]

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Father, I will talk with her."

[GRUFF SIGH.]
"It is not that easy, Son.
She doesn't want to talk with You."

[GENTLE NOD.]
"Well....I can try."
*****************************
"Hey, LORD?"

[GENTLE NOD.]

"Are You still THERE?"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Yes, My child."

(Sudden suspicious Jewess squint up at air vent.)
"Who's......THAT?"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"It is I, child."

(More suspicious squinting.)
(Sudden silence.)
"Oh."
(Frozen silence.)

[GENTLE PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Squeamish squirm.)
"Eh......."

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Do you know
Who I AM,
child?"

(More squirming.)
"Eh........yeah,
sorta."
(Bite lower lip squeamishly.)
(Look around nervously.)

[GENTLE SMILE.]
"Who AM I?"

(Squeamish grimmace.)
"Eh......Ya know."

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"Who?"

(Squirmy squint.)
"Eh..........YA know."

[GENTLY WAITING WITH THE
PATIENCE OF 2,000 YEARS.]

(Scratch scruffy head.)
"Eh.......
(Mumble.)"

[SOFT GENTLE VOICE.]
"Tell Me."

(Clear throat.)
(More squirming.)
"Eh......eh,
(Mumble.)"

[GENTLE WHISPER.]
"Who,
little one?"

(Whisper.)
"....Jesus?"

[VERY GENTLE NOD.]
[SMILE.]
****************************
He was in the beginning
with God;
all things
were made through
Him,
and without Him
was not anything made
that was made.
[John 1:2-3]





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