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Eating cream corn outta the can
by Julie Michaelson
08/18/08
For Sale
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Behold,
O Lord,
for I am in disress,
my soul is in tumult,
my heart is wrung
within me.
[Lamentations 1:20]
**************************
"Hey, LORD!
I'm COOKING, in
my slow cooker,
AGAIN!"

[VERY SOLEMN NOD.]

"YEAH!
(Ponderous squint.)
I'm sure what I'm cooking, though.
It said 'STEW MEAT'....
but, I can't figure out what
it is:
BEEF?
CHICKEN?
PORK?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Do YOU know?"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Does it SMELL GOOD?"

[LONG PAUSE.]

(Worried gaze up at ceiling.)
"WELL?"

[PAUSE.]
[THOUGHTFUL NOD.]

"LORD?
Have You ever eaten cream CORN
outta the CAN?"

[CHUCKLE!]

"It's really GOOD!"

"Hm, hm."

"YEAH!
Actually.....it's less trouble
than heating it up. The problem
is, when you stick it in the
microwave and forget to cover
it......the corn stuff gets stuck
all over the microwave door
and sides. It's a real MESS.
So....sometimes, it's just
EASIER....."

"I understand,
My beloved."

"I guess corn hadn't been
INVENTED yet, when You
were AROUND........HUH?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]
[SMILE!]

"Wasn't it invented in, like......
AMERICA?"

[SILENCE.]

"I know that POPCORN was!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Isn't America GREAT,
LORD?"

[LONG GAZE AT SOME
BUFFALO FEEDING CONTENTEDLY
IN SOUTH DAKOTA.]
"Yes, My precious."

"I hope our NEXT President
spends more time talkin'
about US, rather than all
these OTHER countries!
Ya KNOW?"

[CONCERNED LOOK AT THE
GRAND CANYON.]
[PERHAPS A LITTLE OF AN
ABSENT-MINDED NOD.]
"Yes, child."

"I mean, I hear him talkin'
about GEORGIA......
and, I think he's talkin'
about OUR GEORGIA!
YIKES!"

[SHAKE OF THE HEAD.]
[CONCERNED GAZE.]
"Yes, child."

"Yeah; I bet other people
in America wouldn't admit
it.....but, THEY probably
thought the same thing,
too."

[CHUCKLE.]
"It is a mystery,
My beloved."

(Relieved sigh.)
"Yeah."
(Silence.)

[SILENCE.]

"Do Ya remember how
my Mom liked RAY CHARLES,
Lord?"

"Yes, little one."

"Yeah.
(Silence.)
Especially, when he sang
'Georgia'.
(Silence.)
Yeah.
I remember."

"Remember, child."

"It hurts, Lord.
(Look up at ceiling.)
(Put down can with the
picture of the Green Giant
on it.)
To remember."

"Yes, little one."

"It makes me smile,
but it hurts at the same time."

"Yes, child."

"So......eh, how am I gonna
wrap this up, Lord?
(Look hopefully up at air vent.)
What do STEW-meat, and creamed
corn, and GEORGIA got to DO
with each OTHER?"

[BIG SMILE.]
"Think, child."

"Eh.......well,
......Ya know, my Mom's
PARENTS were from
Russia! And......I never
MET her, but I bet my
GRANDMOM made good
stews! Is THAT it?"

"Good, child.
And, what else did
she make?"

(Eyes watering.)
"ME?"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
**************************
Jesus wept.
[John 11:35]

________________________
In memory: Mom walking
around the living room
singing to Ray Charles
on the radio.




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Member Comments
Member Date
Jide Oboise 19 Aug 2008
Its always a pleasure to read your proverb-like, thought-conversation-with-the-Lord articles. Unusual style deep with meaning. Jesus told us that the natural man can not understand the things of the Spirit because they are spiritually discerned. You are blessed, just keep being a blessing in return, thanks!




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