I sit down at my rickety typewriter pondering what keys I shall strike as I wait for the words that are buried within me to pour out onto the paper. I am ensnared by the shroud of uncertainty that has hung over the deepest confines of my soul. I want to write a letter to God and let him know what has been on my heart. I stretch once more, take a swig of day old coffee and begin to share my heart with The Lord.
I am unsure of how to begin, God and I have not been that close lately. I have not been praying like I used to, nor have I been reading scripture as much as I used to. I am tired and weary, in need of sleep I begin to close my eyes suseptible to the drone of the radio next to me.
Why am I having difficulty trying to share my heart with God? Is it because I consistently sin? Maybe. Yes I guess that's it. On second thought maybe the answer is not so cut and dry. The Lord already knows the nature of my heart. Maybe I have difficulty being honest with Him. I can't be honest with myself. Who am I kidding. I am a habitual liar. I have hurt my friends alienated my wife, disgraced my family. So there it is. By allowing myself to admit my dishonesty I am transforming my heart with truth. Ok, now I begin to think of my dilemma from a new perspective. I never thought to write to the Lord as a humble sinner. That's it! That is the problem I wanted to see myself as more than a sinner, as someone bigger. No, I thought, I am a sinner. We are all sinners. So I sat down to write the letter. This time the words gushed onto the page. I felt a sense of relief as I allowed my heart to open up to Him.
You know what has been lingering on my heart. I don't know why I do the things I do Father. I am trying to change, but I seem to stumble consistently. I hate who I am Lord. I am not the man you call on me to be. You taught me to love yet I am full of hate and rebuke. I chastise others but not myself. I am full of wickedness Lord. The truth hurts. I want to change my life, now at this moment. I want to feel your warm embrace and long for the glory of your kingdom. I accept your son Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior. I want to be saved. I fear it's too late for me. Is it?
I wait patiently for God to respond. My heart cries out for Him.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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Powerful anointed writing !Thank you for sharing your heart. Yes ,we all fail Him and sin. But His Mercies are New every morning; Great is His Faithfulness. It is never to late for God's Mercy and His Grace to enter into our Heart as we Live and Breath!
In Christ Jesus,Dee