Crystal was only two years old when her mother left her father. Too young to understand she kept on trusting in her mother. Her mother having had an affair decided to kidnap her daughter and run off to another state with her new boyfriend. This of course caused fury in the heart of her father. Having been unsuccessful on the search for his daughter Crystal's dad decided to end it all with suicide.
After making it all the way to Hollywood,Ca on the back of a motorcycle, Crystal and her mother settled down in an apartment. It was there her mother began to engage in other relationships again. Relationships with men as well as drugs. It wasn't long before Crystal found herself completely alone in this world. Literally alone, a lost young toddler hoping for some food and shelter. A kind neighbor perhaps, just a stranger, no-one knows for sure but somehow Crystal made it to the orphanage for a second chance.
It was there she given a foster home to live in. Finally a house full of people who wanted to love her. It was there that the sexual assaults began. At age 5 Crystal became very aware of the actuality of her life. She became enraged and scared. She was not only offered permanent adoption but perhaps also a life of torture What could she do?
She chose the adoption. Scared to be on her own again she went before a judge and agreed to stay with this monster knowing she would have clothes, friends and food. It wasn't long after though she realized she had made a bad choice. She decided to come forward about her new father but no-one believed her. She has had a troubled childhood, poor girl. This is what she heard from her confessions. Made out to be a liar her anger grew and grew.
Soon Crystal realized the best thing for her was death. Not even wanting to live at such a young age. She wanted to run but she felt in her heart no-one would believe her now. There was just one more problem, who was going to help her. They talked about GOD here a lot. But if he was a great God then why is this church leader doing this to her? She wanted to pray but figured God was not there. It was all a fraud or he just genuinely hated her for reasons she did not understand.
Finally the her adopted father admitted to what had happened but she had to keep her mouth shut. Crystal ran away anyways too hurt. She did not know where to turn. She spent the rest of her life running. Running from people, running from GOD. As she grew living in different places she finally made it to 18 for some reason and got herself a job and an apartment. There she was able to meet new people. People who didn't care where she had been or what had happened. See in high school, although no-one knew her secret past, she would overhear kids talking about all adopted kids being screwed up.
She knew she had to keep things a secret for a long time and bury these burdens deep within. Her anger grew even more. As Crystal worked she met a lot of people with their own problems. They had some great remedies for problems, called drugs. This was just the answer she was looking for. She wasn't scared of any drugs because the worst thing that could happen was death. Just the remedy she needed. Cocaine, marijuana and acid. Parties and concerts, this is just what it took to blind herself from the reality she had endured.
One night while doing acid at a concert/rave,Crystal really had faced death in the face. In fact she really saw herself down at the concert standing in the crowd, she was just an empty shell standing in a sea of lost people. Up to the right she could see herself surrounded in darkness with a far light. She wondered then Could this really be the end? Is there really a God? She had a quick reference to whether or not God was there and would he accept her after her life of sin. After all, God did not leave her in the streets, nor did he take advantage of her youth.
She began to realize that in fact God had done nothing wrong to her at all and yet she continued to blame him for every fault in her life. She heard God asking her to trust in him. He could change things if she only gave him a chance. She began to put her trust in God. She made a commitment to pray everyday and ask God to meet her needs and show her the way. She begged for his love and it was received.
God delivered Crystal from her life of abandonment and sin. Although she still dealt with her anger issues she continued to trust in the Lord and work hard to know him and build in his faith. Seeking out love she began to feel loved by someone much greater than family. Knowing he would not judge her by her past or future sins, she continued in her faith growing stronger and stronger each day. He began to introduce her to other christians. Not the type she once known as a child but ones she could build trust in as well and know that all people make mistakes.
Forgiveness was a requirement and so she had to find a way to do that as well. Through prayer it was also accomplished. If God can deliver single person from a life of homelessness, loneliness, abuse, and drug addiction, imagine what he can do for you. There may be people who you might feel don't love you, but one thing is guaranteed in this life and that is the fact the God does love you. No matter who you are, where you have been, or what you have done. He is a God of love and mercy. A God of forgiveness. I know because I'm Crystal.
I still face challenges all the time, because satan is trying his hardest to separate me from my father. In fact my mother and my brother both committed suicide within 3 years of each other and that was only a couple years ago. We have to keep in strength and our faith in God though. Remember the Cross. He did all that for me and he did it for you too. God Bless. Love Crystal
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Thank you so much for sharing this. Entirely too many children experience the things stated. When trust is betrayed (especially within those who are supposed to represent God) it is very difficult to trust God. However, that is exactly what satan wants. He will do anything to keep us away from Jesus. Thank GOD, Jesus can receive us as we are and heal and remake us into what was originally intended. In sharing this you have perhaps helped someone else that is having a problem in this area. GOD BLESS YOU,