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Fearful of being tossed overboard
by Julie Michaelson
08/05/08
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And the Lord
appointed
a great fish
to swallow up Jonah;
and Jonah was in
the belly
of the fish
three days
and
three nights.
[Jonah 1:17]
***********************
"Here am I, Lord."

[NOD.]
"And, here
I AM."

(Spontaneous giggle.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Yeah;
I always thought we had
to be real* perfect to come to
You."

[WISE NOD.]

"But, I'm NOT!"

[LOVING GLANCE.]
"Yes, My child."

"Uh, UH!
I'm SARCASTIC!
And...CYNICAL!
And......sometimes...
real* ANGRY!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"SO?
What d'Ya say to
THAT?"

"Come to Me,
My beloved."

(Fold arms.)
(Stubborn look.)
"And.......I...
ain't no SAINT!"

[CALMLY NOD.]
"Hm, hm."

"And.....I'm NOT
no* GOODY-TWO-SHOES,
EITHER!"

[CHUCKLE!]

"Yeah!
Plus....I can't even SING!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"And, ANOTHER thing!
I don't know why You
had to kill all those poor animals
in the FLOOD!"

"What flood,
My precious."

(Irritable glance up at floor lamp.)
"THE FLOOD!
Ya KNOW: the FLOOD!"

"Ah."
[LONG SOLEMN NOD.]
"Yes; that Flood."

"YES!
Ya know!
The one with NOAH,
and ALL!"

[NOD.]

"Yeah; and I don't even
LIKE most 'a the BIBLE!
(Squirm.)
It's too harsh and CRUEL!
ECH!"

[PATIENT NOD.]
"Which Part do you
like, precious?"

"Eh.........
(Kvetchy grimmace.)
(Pouty shrug.)
Well......Jonah's okay."

[SMILE.]
"Why, child?"

"Cuz.......at least,
Ya didn't hurt the
WHALE?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

"Although, if I were
Jonah, I wouldn't have
told those guys to toss
me overboard. That
was kinda' STUPID."

"I understand,
My precious."

(Shrug.)
"Well.....I guess
ya had to be there."

[SMILE!]
"Yes, child.
I was."
*************************
Then they said to him,
What shall we do to you,
that the sea
may quiet down for us?
For the sea
grew more
and more
tempestuous.
He said to them,
Take me up
and throw me
into the sea.
[Jonah 1:11-12]

________________________
*Improper grammar.
It's being used here
for conversational emphasis.


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