Lord, you know I trust you. I have seen your hand at work in my life over and over and over. But I’m tired! How long must I wait for your promises to be fulfilled to me? Have mercy on me today, Lord, as my mind wanders back over the years you have brought me through.
That night when you first spoke to me through the dream, you know, the one with the bundles of grain that bowed down to me, I was so thrilled. I had always thought you had something special for me and that dream made excitement flow through my veins like never before. Now, in hindsight, it would have been wiser for me to keep my dream to myself, but I was so young and so inexperienced. I only added fuel to the fire of my brother’s jealousy. * sigh * If only I had learned from my first mistake and not gone on to repeat the same thing again with the second dream you sent me! And yet, off I went to brag to my brothers and father about the sun, moon and stars bowing down to me! Little did I know the depths you would take me through!
Oh God, was I wrong? Did I misunderstand what you were trying to tell me? And yet, somehow I have peace in the depths of my heart. You have allowed everything that has happened in my life since those days, for some reason. I don’t understand, Lord. I really don’t understand. It hurt so much when my brothers sold me into slavery. I was so scared and abandoned and rejected. On that long trek from Canaan to Egypt, I went through the depths of despair. Yet, you spoke so clearly to me and You gave me strength to “let go” of those hurts and focus my thoughts and energies on what I had yet to face. How was I to know how you would lead me?
Sold into slavery! Although it was demeaning in my eyes to be a slave, yet I knew Potiphar was a good man. You enabled me to do my best; my work and effort were eventually rewarded. I almost thought that somehow You were getting me close to the fulfillment of my dream as I rose through the ranks of Potiphar’s household – although to go from slave to ruler seemed a long jump.
But then that woman! My Lord, how thankful I am to You that You gave me strength to resist the temptations she threw at me day after day! What a blow it was to my heart when my master, who I honored above all others, actually believed the lie she told about me. I had resisted her out of respect for You and for him! And yet he chose to believe HER! My God, that was such a difficult day. When I first landed here in this prison, my heart felt like it had been beaten with a heavy stick by the hand of one whom I had loved! But, once again, You spoke to my heart and told me to “Let it go!” As the days passed you showed me that hanging on to those hurts and the unfairness of it all would cause me to get bitter. So, with your help, God, I let it go. Somehow you would work it all out.
You have been with me even here in prison. You gave me favor with the jailor just as you did with Potiphar. When Pharaoh’s baker and butler landed here in prison with me, you enabled me to reach out to them. Their dreams were made clear to me. And when the butler was sent back to Pharaoh, I thought for sure You were about to open wide the doors of my prison and allow me to finally step into your plans for me! But now, it’s been 2 years! I can’t believe he forgot all about me! He promised he would speak a good word for me. He said he could get me out of here. How could he do that to me?
Lord, as you have taught me all along, help me, once again, to “let it go!” It hurts to be forgotten and mistreated. But I know that if I do not let it go, it will entangle me in snares of resentment. Give me strength to forgive the butler. I do not know what your plan is in this whole situation. But today you have reminded me that my life is in your hands. You do have a plan for me. You have never abandoned me. Though I do not understand, I will allow you to work it all out in your timing and I choose to “Let it go!”
Donna, I too, really enjoyed studying about Joseph..one point I learned about his life..he never stopped believing in God's promises..no matter how hard it got. He realized God was the one that preserved him, and God did promote him..on a day that began just like "any other day." God bless~ I enjoyed this a lot. Mary