Author's Note: The characters in this piece were taken from a writing challenge entry that I wrote entitled "Meet The Cooks - Episode One - Iron My Son's Underwear." I recommend that you read that first before reading this story so that it makes more sense.
Hello folks. Iím Joe Cook.
And Iím Linda Cook.
Linda, relax Dear. Just let me talk to the good folks here at FaithWriters. They recognize my face, and I think they will be more receptive to my persuasion.
More receptive? What's THAT supposed to mean, Joe?
Calm down, Honey. All I'm saying is that Captain Treehugger is a nationally known name, I'm on billboards promoting "Smog Awareness Week." Al Gore and I went on tour together recently. People know me, and they know what I stand for, so I'm sure they will want to hear what I have to say about joining the FaithWriter's 500.
So basically you are saying that Spyder the Ninja is NOT a publicly recognized name? I took down the Emperor Shao Khan and his army of minions singlehandedly. Who do you think trains Jackie Chan for all of his movies? Huh Joe? Whaddya have to say about that "Captain Ego?"
Do you really have to call names? Does this have to be a personal war between us? Why don't we spend our time talking about the publishing discounts available to 500 members?
Ok. If we are going to talk about member benefits, then how about the private messaging system? Joe's mother uses it to send him secret plans that she doesn't want me to see. They usually involve sabotaging my kitchen or mini-van!
Now that isn't true, Dear. Mom usually sends me messages about the writing challenge and all of the great entries she has spent time reading. You see, she is also a FaithWriter 500 member. She doesn't write a lot, but she still sees the importance of supporting this great ministry where she is able to find a ton of great reading material.
That's a shocker. I thought the only thing your mother read were explicit romance novels.
I guess now is the time for me to mention the articles written exclusively for 500 members. Being a semi-stay at home mom who tries to take care of a teleporting child when not out fighting mob bosses and drug lords, I find myself yearning to find a hobby that lets me unwind at the end of the day. Writing appeals to me, and the exclusive articles are packed with great tips to help me jump start my writing career.
Don't forget the cool 500 logo that gets put next to your account name. It looks almost as good as the big tree logo printed on my chestplate!
Ha! Give me a break! Your costume is lame. It looks like Batman's friend Robin made it for you.
Um, actually he did...but seriously, don't you agree that joining the FaithWriter's 500 is a great idea?
Actually Joe, I think that is probably the only thing I have agreed with you on this entire year.