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I Survived
by Kim Kovac
For Sale
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Kim Kovac

Setting: Island, palm trees, benches (logs), torches on stands, Cameraman holding a large camera filming the action and a handsome gentleman dressed in a tux and holding a microphone.

Announcer-host of Survival Reality Game
Cameraman-filming the scenes
Frannie-hostess-empty-headed diva
Michael-Car Salesman
Lisa-Exercise Instructor
Tad-Fishing Outfitter
Samantha-V.P. of Marketing


Cameraman is filming. He moves as needed without saying a word.

Announcer: Welcome back to this week’s episode of “I survived” on the beautiful island of Booli in the Caribbean.

Frannie enter dressed in a dinner gown with long white gloves.

Announcer: And how is our lovely assistant, Fannie, tonight?

Frannie: Hello (giggling, empty-headed)

Announcer: Yes, a woman of few words. A man’s dream! Last week our contestants had to survive a 25 mile hike through jungle terrain. The hike was a grueling journey through snake infested, insect-biting overgrowth rarely traveled by even the natives of this little island and today they have to vote off one person. Let’s reintroduce our contestants for those new viewers and hear their thoughts.

Light on each person as they enter on cue. Cameraman will get close and sometimes get in Fannie’s way which causes her much dismay! Fannie will hold up a sign and use hands as if displaying some object to the audience like a model on the Price is Right.

Sign: Michael- Detroit-Car Salesman

Michael: Yeah, it was a tough hike but I’m in shape and I was pumped and ready for it.

Announcer: Yes, well, let’s look at some footage while you tell of your adventure.

Video appears on a laptop of Michael running through jungle grasses, struggling…the camera will be rough as it is held by a running cameraman.

Announcer: (V.O.) So you had no problems on your hike?

Video: Michael falls into the tall brush of the jungle, legs seen flailing in the air. Mysterious hands reach out and help him. When righted to his feet, Michael doesn’t look back but runs quickly as if afraid that he will lose ground. After Michael gets back up and takes off running, the cameraman runs past the figure but doesn’t show his face. The cameraman falls too. The video shows a fall to the ground, rolling scene then the shoes of another person, bended knee and hands that help him.

Michael: (V.O.) Well…

Video: Mysterious hands disappear and the camera doesn’t capture anything else of the person who helps him because he is racing after Michael who is seen pushing tall grasses aside, unsteady on his feet.

Michael: (V.O.) I did trip but I managed to get my balance.

Video: Michael falls through a bush and into a river.

Michael: (V.O.) Encountered a few obstacles…

Video: Michael comes up for air, struggling and notices a brown figure floating towards him.

Michael: (V.O.)...when I swam that dirty river. Like a huge Alligator!

Video: Michael begins to try and swim furiously but lacks any real skill.

Announcer: Alligator, oh my! What did you do?

Video: Suddenly a voice is heard from a distance calling to the splashing Michael.

Voice on Video: (calmly) Michael…(louder) Michael, listen to me. Listen!

Michael: I…I… swam faster. Thought the beast had my foot at one point…

Video: As Michael splashes, calling out in a gurgling voice, he suddenly goes under, back up and splashes even more. The brown figure in the water has floated even closer as the splashing motion seems to pull it towards Michael.

Voice on Video: Michael…just stand up!

Michael: (V.O.) but with cunning skill, I battled the huge beast and he left me alone.

Video: Michael stands and sees that he is in waist-deep water. He jumps with a girlish scream when the brown figure hits his leg. It’s at this moment that he realizes that it is just a log. He also notices that he is being filmed for the first time so he acts as if the log was an alligator, wrestles it under water and throws it, giving the camera a cunning grin.

Announcer: Yes, I see.

Michael: No sweat!

Announcer: Who was the voice that we heard calling to you?

Michael: Voice? What voice? There was no voice.

Announcer: I believe we all heard it!

Janeka: (V.O.) Yeah, there was a voice and it sounded like Joshua!

Michael:(looking in direction offstage) I could have righted myself without his help. And there was an alligator. You all saw it! I wrestled it into the water and threw it across the river with my bare hands. He won’t mess with me again. I’ll tell you!

Fannie take his arm and lead him back to benches. She grabs one of the torches, hands it to him and directs him to sit..

Lisa come in from stage left. Fannie walk quickly over and show sign: Lisa-L.A.-exercise instructor.

Announcer: Hi, Lisa. How was your hike?

Lisa: It was hot! Sweat was pouring like I was in a sauna…

Video: Lisa is running at a good pace. Close up shots of her face show sweat pouring down her face.

Lisa: (V.O.) Really hot! I didn’t think that I was gonna make it

Video: She wipes her face with the back of her arm but it smears the sweat so that she can’t see very well, stumbles and gets turned around and runs right into cameraman. She falls down, skinning her knee,

Lisa: (V.O.) …but I just kept thinking about how horrible I was gonna feel if I dropped out, ya know. I’m not a loser…No sir-ree! My family don’t tolerate losers so I just kept on running…

Video: Hands reach out again and help her steady herself enough to get back up. She looks determined while wiping the sweat some more. Suddenly the hands produce a towel which she takes and uses quickly, flinging it to the ground as she sprints forward.

Announcer: Wow! You sure looked determined to win! Who would you say was the best runner?

Video: The camera leaves Lisa to show Joshua jogging easily. He reaches down and picks up the towel, placing it into his pocket.

Joshua’s voice on video: You’re doing great, Lisa!

Lisa: Joshua. He wasn‘t in the lead but he was a steady runner, never seemed to tire and knew just what to say to encourage everyone else. Thanks Josh for the towel.

Fannie take her arm and lead her to the torches, hand her one and she sits next to Michael.

Tad come in from stage left. Fannie walk quickly; Announcer tries to speak but interrupted by quick motion of Fannie running in front of him to display sign. Shows it upside down, then rights it. Tad-Idaho-Fly-fishing Outfitter.

Tad: Yo’ It was a piece of cake. The distance was perfect and I felt that I was the best runner. Competitive sports are my thing. I’m in this to win.

Announcer: (pushing Fannie out of the way) In it to win, huh? You have some stiff competition. Let’s see how you did.

Video: Tad is running with Lisa in front of him. As Lisa wipes her face with the back of her arm, Tad sprints past her too close causing Lisa to trip over herself, almost losing her balance. She manages to steady by grabbing a tree trunk. With a frown, she continues as Tad is seen jumping over tree limbs and through the tall jungle grasses. He holds a branch too long and lets it go so abruptly that it swings quickly back, hitting Lisa knocking her back into Michael who has appeared behind her. They both go backward falling until they both are caught and held up by strong arms. Tad is in the lead, laughing and sprinting with arms in the air like Rocky.

Tad: Competition? Sure.

Michael and Lisa look at each other, frowning and then at Tad.

Tad: Hey! Stop the evil looks! I mean, gee, this is a competition not a tea party! Now, that Joshua fella is someone to be reckoned with. Not that I think that he is better than me but he’s such a cool cucumber.

Announcer: (Laughing) Yes, I’m beginning to see that. Okay, follow the pretty Fannie.

Fannie give Announcer a dirty look and take Tad to pick his torch and join the others. Both Michael and Lisa move quickly a few feet down the bench from him. He looks angry then shrugs his shoulders, giving the audience a grin. Janeka enter rubbing her elbow which is bandaged and limping. Fannie runs over with her sign. Janeka holds out her arm thinking that Fannie is coming to help her, Fannie avoids helping by shoving the sign up: Janeka-Kansas-receptionist which hits Janeka in the face. Fannie laughs like a child unaware of her mistake. Janeka knocks the sign away and Fannie pouts, retrieves it from the ground and holds it high.

Announcer: Janeka, are you hurt?

Janeka: Oh-h-h-h as if you didn’t know. Hello! What do I have to do to get some assistance around here….die!

Announcer quickly comes to help her walk the rest of the way and holds her up as she complains.

Janeka: I’m so sore. (Looking at camera, angry) You know instead of filming the whole time, you could have put down that camera and helped! I mean, really!

Announcer: Yes, well…he’s just doing his job, dear! Speaking of cameras…

Janeka: (still addressing the cameraman) I can’t believe you! Would it have been so hard to just stop filming for a second and help a poor soul? (pointing) I’ll remember this, dude! You better believe it, bud! When this is all over and I’m the winner, you’ll get yours, funny guy! Look, I’m surprised that I ever made it to the finish line. You know if it wasn’t for Joshua, I wouldn’t be here.

Announcer: Why’s that?

Janeka: Don’t play dumb with me, you…Bob Barker wanna-be! You saw the whole thing with that guy’s help. (pointing at cameraman again) You saw me fall. Not once did you… (hold up elbow) You see. I sat there with those jungle leaves touching me everywhere…yuck… and just cried. Well, watch for yourself.

Video: Janeka on the ground wrapped in jungle grasses, vines and dirt, crying. She struggles to get the grasses and vines off, slapping everywhere. The camera is shaking as the cameraman laughs. Twice Janeka tries to get up but is pulled back out of camera shot a few times. Suddenly a large machete cuts through the grasses and Joshua appears. His face is gentle and concerned. He frees her from the grasses, hugging Janeka a moment as she cries. She uses his shirt as a tissue, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose while Joshua pats her on the back. Then he produces a water bottle for her to drink. As she drinks it down, without pausing until it is gone, Joshua wipes off the grasses from her back. Then Janeka takes a deep breath, gaining strength and takes off running. The cameraman lingers long enough to get a shot of Joshua as he tries to drink from the empty bottle before the camera is off running after her.

Announcer: Well, wasn’t that rather sporting of him. Stopping to help you so you could leave him behind.

Janeka: (looking down in shame) Thanks Joshua! Really, I appreciate it and all but you know what they say…all’s fair in love and reality games.

Joshua: (V.O.) Anytime.

Announcer: I think that’s all’s fair in love and war! And if I was that Joshua there would be a war! Okay, Janeka…Follow our nice (smile at Fannie) assistant.

Fannie take her arm and lead her to torches and to the group. Janeka sits down in pain, tries to lean on Tad for support but Tad moves away quickly causing her to almost fall. Fannie moves quickly to meet the next contestant, running into the cameraman who is still filming Janeka. Fannie pushes him aside to grab the last sign and intercept Samantha, who is walking swiftly and with a purpose. Sign: Samantha-N.Y.-V.P. of Marketing

Samantha: I’m so ready for the next challenge. No need to see footage. Suffice it to say, I didn’t fall, wrestle a log, get caught in the grass trap, skin my knee or anything like that. Good grief, people! Haven’t you heard of being prepared. I mean, really, if I ran the company…I’m the V.P. of Marketing and they don’t give that kinda position to just anybody. I’ve had to fight for every inch of my journey and that takes courage, nerves of steel and a plan. That’s P.L.A.N. plan. Every moment carefully crafted; every obstacle conquered with the most cunning maneuver. This is kill or be killed not some fairy tale fourth of july picnic sack race! I had a plan and finished that race without a scratch. No…compared to what I’ve endured clawing my way to the top, this hike was nothing. Now! Let’s go, people—We need to keep this thing moving!

Announcer: Yes, Mam. But first for the viewing audience, lets just take a look at this well planned hike of yours…

Video: Samantha is seen running very fast then ducking behind a tree. Several of the other contestants run past without seeing her. She pokes her head out, looking after the runners then behind her with a grin. She whistles loudly. Suddenly a man dressed like a limo driver appears, takes her hand and leads her through some tall grasses to a clearing where a nice car awaits.

The Laptop is suddenly closed. Samantha falls beside it, knocking it over.
Samantha: (Screams) Oh, my! I tripped. I’m so sorry. Did I break it. Let me see. (picks laptop up, drops it again) Sorry! Why it just leaped out of my hands. Did you see that?

Announcer: (rushes to take the laptop from her) Give me that! (opening it to a blank screen) You erased it! You sneaky little…

Samantha: (scolding) Now, now…watch your tongue…temper, temper!

Announcer: Fine! At least answer one question.

Samantha: One question? Like who do I think will not win? Joshua, of course. He’s not aggressive enough. He is more concerned with how the others are doing. (with disgust) a nice guy but you know what they say about them---they finish last, right? This is dog eat dog! And I'm one mean dog and you are just a little taco-bell Chihuahua. (bark and snarl) No offense, Josh

Joshua: (V.O.) None taken, Samantha.

Announcer: Okay…little doggy, I mean big doggy!

Samantha barks a few times, getting lost in her role. Announcer tries to take her hand to lead her but she barks a quick biting motion. He jumps back, looking frantic at the cameraman.

Announcer: Sit! Stay! Bad Doggy! Hey, anyone got a muzzle? Okay, be calm.
Fannie…a little help here?

Fannie has started to pick at her nails and is not paying attention.

Announcer: Fannie!

Fannie jumps to attention, leaves camera and re-appears with a collar and leash, holding it out. Samantha stops her barking, straightens her clothes and hair, composer restored, she walks over to torches and picks one. As she gets close to the group, she barks once at Janeka who screeks. Everyone starts complaining and arguing with each other. Suddenly everyone stops as another contestant enters. Joshua seems to have a soft warm glow around him and everyone calms down. Fannie runs back to join the Announcer and get next to Joshua. She is flirty and girlish. Announcer clears his throat, Fannie looks and sees one sign remaining. She picks up sign: Joshua-Nazareth-Carpenter

Announcer: The infamous, Joshua.

Joshua: This has been a wonderful experience for me. I’ve enjoyed meeting each person. They all have such tremendous potential.

Announcer: You were mentioned as an inspiration. How do you respond to that?

Joshua: Oh, that was nice but I get my inspiration from my father. He has always been the one that encourages. I just follow his example. Everything that I do is a reflection of him. Every one of these people (motion to group with smile) can be a winner if they only learn to listen to good advice. Father always gave me the best advice and never did he lead me in the wrong direction.

Announcer: Wow, he sounds like terrific father.

Joshua: Yes, he is. Thank you. (turn to Fannie) Hello, Fannie.

Fannie: Hello…(giggle, blush, flirt) Hi…Joshua. I really think you were the best! I’d love to meet your Father someday. Perhaps next Friday? I don’t have any plans. Do you? We could have dinner. Oh, there’s this really good new restaurant…

Announcer: Fannie! Enough! Sorry, she’s just…Fannie.

Joshua: She’s lovely!

Announcer: Well, we would have loved to see more footage of your race but the laptop is…well…what is the word…

Fannie: broke?

Janeka: more like sabotage!

Fannie motions for Joshua to follow her to the torches and the group. Once the last torch is taken and Joshua sits down, Fannie use hands to show the whole group to audience as they were the grand prizes behind door number two.

Announcer: Okay, Fannie, that is fine.

Fannie continue with motions.

Announcer: Fannie….Stop!

Fannie leaves with pouting lips and angry stride.

Announcer: Everyone, as you know it is time to vote off a contestant before we move to the next challenge. Who do you think should be voted off the island? Who is the weakest member? Who will slow everyone else down? Each one will take turns and come to this table where you will write the name of the person you think should leave.

Everyone sit. A box is set up with a table. Cameraman stands so that he can film each one.

Michael: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) Sorry, dude. You’re a great guy but I’m in this to win and you’re a liability. (fold and place in box, then go back to group))

Lisa: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) Joshua. I’m so sorry. It’s nothing personal. Goodbye. (fold and place in box, then go back to group)

Tad: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) Like I said before, I plan to win. You were gonna be in my way. Hey, if this wasn’t a game with just one winner, I think that we could be friends. (fold and place in box, then go back to group)

Janeka: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) Thank you so much for your help when I needed it, but I think I can take it from here. Take care, Josh. By the way, I’d like to meet your father someday. You spoke so highly of him. (fold and place in box, then go back to group)

Samantha: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) Joshua, nothing personal. But…woof woof! Hey, after I win this thing, maybe I’ll ca...naw (fold and place in box, then go back to group)

Joshua: (write Joshua on paper and hold up to audience) I must write a name here. It’s part of the rules but I wouldn’t sacrifice any of them for any reason. I just wanted to be here to help them through all the challenges so they can make it to the goal. (fold and place in box, then go back to group)

Announcer: Okay…everyone stand, please. (Take out each paper, show it to group) Joshua. Looks like you’re being sacrificed. You are the weakest link…bring your torch.

Joshua take his torch to Announce.

Announcer: The group has spoken. (extinguish his torch)

Joshua: (step back with arms stretched out in acceptance, walk to front of stage and speak to group) I knew that it could come to this and my father prepared me. I don’t hold any anger toward any of you. I will go but remember that I will always be ready to help. All you need to do is ask and at the end of this game, I will be waiting to welcome you home. (leave carrying torch with a renewed flame.)

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